My fiances mother and I got along up until this past Mother's Day. Both my family and his have very close family values so the holidays are always difficult. We have worked out a system that is perfectly even, one year his family, one year mine. They live about 2 hours away from us so it is difficult to see both sides in one day. Last Mother's Day we told her we would be coming to visit on the Saturday before Mother's Day because we were going to be with my mom on Sunday. She told him to "Have fun with his new family" and hung up on him. She has not called us since. He is waiting for her to apologize (which isnt going to happen) and he is the type that avoids things. We have been to some family functions and she acts like nothing ever happened but still won't call us or come over. We are getting married in 6 months and I need addresses from her and some music selections....also, I just want things to be normal again. What should I do??
2006-10-30 04:19:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Call her and say 'I hope you can let this be for the sake of our marriage coming up.' please give me addresses.
You are making the first move,and asking her in a round about way to 'grow up'. She's jealous.
2006-10-30 04:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by Jas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would make an effort to go see her and speak to her in person, even if your fiance doesn't want to speak to his mom go on your own. She is going to be your family too. Go to her, ask her how you can help build the bridge with her and her son and even yourself. Let her know how much you are looking forward to having her as a mother - in - law. Lay it on really thick if you know what i mean. You taking the big step will make her see you are trying. That way you can get the address and songs you need.. Go now before things get more hectic because the closer you get to the wedding date you are not going to have time for nothing. Good Luck, take a deep breath and hope for the best.
2006-10-30 04:27:29 · answer #2 · answered by Shy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I think this is a common occurrence. Families get jealous too. Call her, ask her about music selections etc. Make her feel liek she is important and that you need her help to make important decisions.. That way she will feel that hey, maybe I am important and my son and daughter in law feel the same way. Worst thing to happen would be to shut her out and not let her have her 2 cents in the decision making. Remember, you don;t always have to agree but at least give her the opportunity.
2006-10-30 04:29:31 · answer #3 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe write a note to her from the two of you explaining that you are sorry she was upset. you were just trying to make things fair. also ask for addresses in the letter and music selections. tell her you would like her input in the wedding. if she doesn't respond then she is a fool
there are tons of people who have to split holidays with families. my husband and i have to do the same thing.
2006-10-30 05:44:39 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a difficult one. I would try to contact her alone and discuss this situation with her. Ask her if she would have a better solution to this problem. By involving her instead of telling her what you two are going to do during the holidays may soften things. And who knows she just might have a better solution, one the two of you(you and your fiance) have not thought of. Good luck to you and may god bless you two through your life.
2006-10-30 04:43:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound particularly youthful. it variety of feels particularly sparkling that his mom's drug subject is on the basis of this. She searches by using your stuff for money/issues she will sell or use to get greater. Thats what addicts ARE. they are actually not themselves, they manage, lie, and smash themselves and their relationships.... and that they have not any thought what they are rather doing, with the aid of fact they stay in the type of dense fog. Now, to take all those strikes against you as for my area as you have (ie, to HATE her) shows you're particularly immature and not knowledgeable with reference to the character of addictions. You actually would desire to handle her like a grown-up new child. Your fiance could be stepping in, yet he in all probability does not even understand the place to start. You men could look for counselling, or i do no longer think of this subject is going away. in certainty, i will see it worsening. replace your perspective of the region, then you definately would be waiting to administration her strikes greater desirable. That doesnt mean settle for it, in spite of the incontrovertible fact that it is going to positioned you in a greater physically powerful place then the place you're actually. i'm hoping you type this out earlier you marry him. stable success
2016-10-03 02:42:10 · answer #6 · answered by boland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just suck it up, be the better person and call her, just to say hi and see how she is doing. You'll be glad you did. Atleast then you can say you tried. Who knows, you might not just gain a mother in law in 6 months, you might have afriend too. Which is a good thing.
2006-10-30 04:45:55 · answer #7 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the first move - give her a call. Don't discuss the Mother's Day incident unless she brings it up. Good luck!
2006-10-30 04:25:11 · answer #8 · answered by Michael da Man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't "do" anything. She went out of her way to show she's jealous, let her go out of her way to make things right. I'm not being cold, just logical, okay? Jealousy is a normal way to feel, rudeness "because" of it, is not. So I would let "her" go out of her way to straighten it out. Good luck.
2006-10-30 04:38:59 · answer #9 · answered by Republican!!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋