my daughter is seven months old and my usband nad i have been through at least a dozen baby sitters. all the sitter quit because they say that after we leave she does nothing but cry for hours on end. this usually invovles a short date night for my husband and i. is there a way to break her of this habit so my husband and i can have some alone time with each other every other weekend?
2006-10-30 03:38:10 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
as a daycare provider i understand routine. and as far as the babysitter, i don't change them the girls quit because they say they can't handle the constant crying. but she is even the same way when she is left alone with family members. over the weekend my husband and i tried to get a romantic get away and left her with my sister. after the first night my sister called out hotel room and asked us to come homes because mya didn't sleep well and she was still refusing to eat and cried like non stop. is this normal?
2006-10-30 03:50:50 · update #1
Oh so cute! Sounds like your daughter's starting having object permanence which is a cognitive developmental milestone. Meaning, she no longer thinks, out of sight out of mind. If you are not there, she remembers you and wonders where you are and wants you back so she can see you.
It's very normal to start at this age and for it to peak at about 12mths then ease off again and be gone by about 18mths. I don't want to scare you but just make you aware.
The best thing you can do for your daughter is spend lots of time with her to develop her confidence. There are some things that people may suggest to help her get over you but do you want her to be 'over you'? She may just feel like she's being rejected and that can harm self confidence.
Are you able to find one reliable babysitter with whom your daughter can develop a meaningful relationship? Someone you trust to share mothering with? If you can find this one person, perhaps you could start having play dates together so that your daughter forms a relationship with this person while you are around. Then when you are not there, your daughter has someone to bond with.
Perhaps you could have lots of games of peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek so you daughter learns that when you leave you do come back. Make a point of saying goodbye when you leave and waving (or blowing kisses or whatever) and then saying hello and hugging when you come back. Encorporate these two words and actions into lots of games so that she's used to it.
Good on you for making time with your husband. That is the absolute best thing you can do for your girl - maintain a healthy relationship with your husband which will provide a stable homelife which will give her confidence to face the world!
2006-10-30 03:48:33 · answer #1 · answered by nangari 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
By switching baby sitters so often I think you are making it worse on her. Babies need constant familiarity in order to feel secure with their surroundings. At 7 months old she needs reassurance and to do this you should probably try giving her a routine. Every day do the same thing without any changes and you should see a difference within 2 weeks. Example: Breakfast at 8, then play time at 9, nap at 10, lunch at noon, more platime, snack at 2, walk at 3, nap until 4, dinner at 5, bath at 6, read a book and get ready for bed by 8. Just an Example.
2006-10-30 03:44:41 · answer #2 · answered by Jackie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has to learn that there is someone else that she can stay with that is trustworthy other than her parents. If you are a stay at home mom, try having the baby sitter come over a couple of time during times when you are home but doing something else. And maybe on the first visit, do some playing together with the kiddo. It will show her that you trust that person.
After that, stick with one or maybe two baby sitters.Consistancy is the key with babies. They like the same faces and voices and trust those people only.
you wouldnt want to be left alone with a buffet of strangers to care for you, dont expect her to. Stick with one and let her build a relationship.
2006-10-30 03:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy P 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should plan a romantic night at home with your husband at first , so your daughter wont feel as if you both are leaving her. She is still young and wants to feel that comfort , that you are still there when she wakes up. Give it some time. Then every other weekend try to get someone that she knows to baby sit her, like a grand parent or aunt or uncle/godparents. She needs to see a familiar face and not a stranger. Good luck.
2006-10-30 05:01:34 · answer #4 · answered by BASHFUL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep trying. It can take awhile. You have to find a sitter that will stick with you so that that will stay constant. I work with infants and some babies have a real hard time at first. Some will take 2 - 3 months to settle down and realize that when you do leave, you will eventually come back. I knot it can be frustrating but just remember that it will get better.
2006-10-30 03:42:36 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica_Bessica 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
separation anxiety is a natural behavior for your child at this age......she has just realized that you are separate from her!!!! you need to comfort her and let her know you will be back. my son just got over it and he is 15 mo. you can try shortening the length of your outing but make them more frequent. i believe it's more of a time thing meaning in time your daughter will allow you two to go out without her......oh yeah and stick w/one babysitter going through bunches will only make matters worse. so when your interview a sitter let them know up front that she is gonna cry, try hiring a family member or an older sitter that can deal w/ a crying baby
good luck and keep in mind this doesn't last forever i promise lol
2006-10-30 03:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by Lori C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Our oldest daughter did the same thing. I think that the best thing that you can do is find a baby sitter that you can trust. Let her take your daughter to several different places so that she can get used to her. It will be hard for her for a while but babies have to get used to things like this. If you have a cousin or a neice that is old enough to watch her that could be better on her. Some one that she knows. Maybe you will get better results from this. Hope this helps you! Take care and God Bless you and Your Family.
2006-10-30 03:47:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
SOunds like it's just the age. She will get better eventually. It doesn't sound like it's a 'habit' to break. Have their been any big changes in her life recently??(new baby, pregnancy, move?) SHe may jsut be adjusting to that. ALso, do you stay at home or work?? If you're at home with her all day she may just be used to you. Is there a family member you can leave her with instead of a sitter? I know my girls have no problem with us leaving them with my parents or MIL but don't really like it if they don't know hte person & get super clingy.
2006-10-30 03:46:54 · answer #8 · answered by mamabens 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Definately. canines emotions are very similar to human beings emotions and at one factor of their existence each individual is going by using seperation stress, no rely if or no longer it relatively is from leaving your husband, leaving your verify's domicile, or in simple terms leaving an extremely superb social gathering!
2016-10-21 00:07:20 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is that she will grow out of it. My son had a bit of sep. anxiety and he is going to turn 1 in 2 weeks and seems to have passed that stage. It may pass and then you can have that alone time.
2006-10-30 03:43:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋