He doesn't actually "discipline" them, so much as raise his voice when they dont do what he says. My son listens very well and doesnt really have any major attitude problems, so when my husband gets around children that do, he feels he has the right to correct them. I don't think he does, I feel like people are getting upset with us because he is telling their kids what to do. I mean, I dont think it's right the way alot of the kids in my extended family act, a lot of them would blow you away with their attitudes, but I dont feel it's my business to tell them about it.
I've asked him to please not raise his voice to other peoples children, and he gets really defensive and we wind up in an argument.. How can I talk to him without offending him?
2006-10-30 03:30:59 · 14 answers · asked by getting large with baby 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
OOOH! That's a tough situation! Nobody wants someone else correcting their child (unless they aren't around to do it). But on the other hand, if the parents are truly neglecting their duty as a parent. . .Or if they are at your home and aren't following the rules that are set into place. . .WHEW! I don't envy you. Could you maybe step in with the child/children BEFORE your dear husband raises his voice and try to calmly and quietly tell them to alter their behavior? Kids are sometimes easier to change than adults. Also, could you ask him how he would feel if someone were to speak to your son the way he speaks to other children?
Good luck!
2006-10-30 03:37:45 · answer #1 · answered by shellbugger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay this is my view on the situation. When somebody Else's children are in your house you have every right to discipline them especially when the are damaging your stuff. These people who are not disciplining their children are going to pay for it dearly in the future. Children need and respect discipline. The problem with children now a days is simply the lack of discipline. I don't spank my little son and he is a well disciplined child. Children are going to spend their whole lives having to listen to somebody. A teacher, their boss when they get older, the law. They need to learn how to listen at home. These children are going to have serious problems when they get older. No respect for authority just to name the most important. If people can't discipline their own children to be respectful of people and their things then your husband has every right to intervene. My rule and every parent and child that walks into my home are told that my house my rules you don't like it don't come over cause I will put your child in time out if they are not abiding by my rules. I expect the same from my child in others homes as well. That's how I feel about the subject.
2006-10-30 05:41:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that if the parents are doing nothing to correct their kids, and they are way out of control, then that is the time to tell the kids to mind. I can see your husband's point too. Nothing is more annoying than being around people who do not discipline their out of control kids. Then they act all pissy because you told their kids to stop. I solved that problem though, I do not go around people like that anymore. If the relationship is that important, then they would discipline their kids. If they have a big problem with him doing so, then they should say something about it. Now, if he is getting on to them for the littlest things, then that needs to stop. But if they are doing something over and over and could possibly hurt them or someone else, then he should say something. If your friends/family has a problem with him getting on to them, then tell them it is either they keep their kids in line, or you stop coming around...it's that simple. Good luck!
2006-10-30 03:57:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you said in your extended family. If he is telling kids in your family not to do something, so what? Theyre his family, its not like he is going up to random kids who are doing something he doesnt like, and yelling at them.
Secondly, what is the child doing? If the child that he is reprimanding is doing something to him like giving him attitude, or something to your son, then he has every right to tell them off.
He will just be the one in the family that the children know that they cannot be stupid around or argue or act wild. Every family has the one person that all the kids learn to respect and listen to. Be glad your kid isnt one of the others and knows how to act.
2006-10-30 03:58:56 · answer #4 · answered by Barbi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him how he would feel if someone else was reprimanding your son? I know I hated being disciplined by anyone other than my own parents. My dad never would let anyone do this when he was around, but behind his back or with my mom, we had to deal with this. It also depends on how the other parents feel. If they would be bothered by your husbands reactions. I know it's a pain to deal with snotty kids, but you don't want to hurt your relationship with these brat parents. Just be grateful they aren't yours. And refer the issue in a kind way to the actual parents, chances are, they will be so embarassed that they will put their kids in check. Good Luck!
2006-10-30 03:38:24 · answer #5 · answered by Laura R 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Can you give an example? I mean if someone else's kid was about to run out in the street or stick a knife in an electrical socket, I'd probably scream NO at them too. What kinds of things is he disciplining them about?
2006-10-30 03:38:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what i give props to your hubby. I know if any child raised his voice to me i would address it. To that child and there parents. I personally do not tolerate that behavior. They are not grown and shouldnt be talking to growns folks like that. So it is not disciplining, it is addressing the issue. And maybe it is good so the parents can come aware of this problem with there child.
2006-10-30 03:36:46 · answer #7 · answered by homie_j 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him I use to hate people like him when i was a kid. Many kids get their feeling hurt when another adult raises their voice. I started telling them off when I became a teenager :)
2006-10-30 14:13:35 · answer #8 · answered by billy f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he has a control issue it is not right for him to dicipine other people children i have had that happen to me if the parents are there it is up to them to take care of any problems that come up if it were me he was doing that to i would say something to him like i am here i will see to the problem.i hae 8 kids and all of them are good kids but have sister that does not think it is good to dicipline her kids and they are holy terrors i will tell my sister to do something and if she don't i will cuz it is my things that are getting tore up but i will give the parents of the kids the first chance to do it. i wonder if he has been told off by other parents or if they just let him do it.
2006-10-30 03:43:31 · answer #9 · answered by starr 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that is wait is he raising his voice or shouting? either way its not discipline its simply addressing the matter because your husband wants the children to obey him and do good i dont blame him it is okay my husband is like that too but he never spanked other ppl's kids
2006-10-30 14:11:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋