how do i get my 16year old to see that her b/f is no good?

Question

he was seen with a old g/f and he gave my daughter a std and she not mad

Answer 1

When a girl is in a loving home with strong support systems she has enough self-esteem to see when her b/f is bad. Maybe she needs to have something outside of her dating relationship that she can take pride in which will influence her to make a good dating decision.

Telling her that he's "no good" etc. often just drives girls closer to the twits they're dating ( I know, because I did it myself). Take her out to lunch and don't even talk about him. Just ask her about stuff she likes. Go to a movie (or rent one for a "mom and daughter day in") and then just talk about the movie or the actors. Just show her that you are her her mom and a friend that she can come to. The more love (not the smothering kind, but real respect) that she feels from you, the more she'll re-evaluate her decision and make him step up, or step out.

I would also be pretty blunt about the STD....although you didn't say what it was, I'm assuming it was non-life threatening. I would emphasize to her that it could have taken her life. So, she needs to start thinking smart when it comes to sex.

Answer 2

All I can say to you is HAVE FUN and good luck with that!!! Your daughter is at the "rebellious" age. Those NASTY teen years when of course, they feel they know more than you do, and will be as stubborn as hell. Then of course when you are trying to protect them...THEY think you are just trying to make them miserable....... You can pretty much talk until you are BLUE in the face with her about her BF, but it will only push her closer to him.
My advice to you, would be to talk to her friends..( if they will tak to you) and without her knowing it of course. Maybe they agree this guy is NO GOOD...
One more question...define "seen with his old gf." Did someone catch them making out or something???Or were they just hanging out somewhere together, becuase it isn't "taboo" to be friends with your ex.....As for the STD he gave her, the reason why she isn't mad is probably becuase he contracted it from his previous relationship.....STD's don't always show up right away, and maybe he didn't know.
But really, I know you are trying to be a protective and responsible parent....But....What you wanna do may cause more harm than good. If he really is as bad as you think...Don't worry this won't last forever....She's young...she'll see it soon enough and find someone else!!!

Answer 3

There's this show on MTV called Parental Control. When the parents hate their kid's boyfriend/girlsfriend they set them up on dates with someone they choose that they think is better. Half of the time the son/daughter realizes that they have a lot more options as to who they can date and that they can do better. Maybe part of it is your daughter has low self esteem and doesn't think that any other guys would like her or go out with her, and she thinks if she dumps her current boyfriend that she'll be single for the rest of her life. Maybe not, but it's just a thought.

Answer 4

Talk to her but don't sound like you are telling her what to do. Share your concerns but not in an authoritative way. Whenever my mother tried to "TELL" me that certain people were not good to hang out with or that i should not be with a guy, that made me want to do it even more. Sometimes we need to learn from our own mistakes.
In the case of the STD tell her to just use protection because his time it was something that could be treated with a cream or pill. Next time could be something that is not curable!!!

Answer 5

There is no way to show her that he is no good. Girls are stubborn when they think that they are in love you just have to pry that she realizes that he is no good. I know that isnt the answer you were looking for but that is the only advice i can give. And i am speaking from experience. I use to be the 16 year old in love and my momma use to try to tell me he was no good and he cheated and beated on me and i still couldnt see it. Not until i got fed up and then i opened my eyes and saw that i needed to get out of this situation.

Answer 6

Good luck. I was unable to figure out the 16 year old female when I was 16. Now I am 38 with a 16 year old daughter and I still can't figure them out. All they can see is how much she loves him. Just keep showing her the evidence and get her to figure out why she would want to be with someone who treats her this way.

I got lucky. My daughter would have kicked him to the curb by now.

Answer 7

You really need to whip your daughters a.s.s . I am not trying tbut if you don't stop it and be stern then she will never stop seeing him. You can't tell your child that their boyfriend is bad news. You have to put your foot down. If she got an std from him them obviously he is sleeping around,and she is not using protection. Before you know it she will be pregnant. She can really damage her body by contracting an std,she can put herself at risk for cervical cancer,aids,it is too risky to have unprotected sex. You really need to put a short leash on her,and its not that your being mean or a bad parent you are protecting your daughter. You don't show a 16 year old evidence of how her boyfriend is a jerk and expect that to work,you have to put your foot down.

Answer 8

By building her self worth and making her realize that she deserves to be treated with respect. Don't keep telling her that he is no good, it will just cause her to resent you. Talk to her about her goals and hopes for the future. Keep the lines of communication open constantly and don't be frustrated when she doesn't want to talk to you. Don't be judgemental when you talk to her, just be loving, compassionate and understanding about what she is going through. Let her know that as her parent, you want her to be happy in life, and that your hope for her is to work hard to achieve her goals. It will take time, but eventually she will come around and you can start working on building a more mature parent/child relationship. On the part of the boyfriend, encourage her to bring him over for dinner, but also have ground rules for appropriate behavior in your house. Then, be warm and welcoming to him. Encourage them to join in a game such as Trivial Pursuit, or something else that can be fun, but might point out his worthlessness without being obvious about it. You will probably end up scaring the boyfriend so badly that he will dump her because he seems to only be looking for a bed mate, and by bringing him to hang out with the family, that's making him have to commit to more than he wants, so if she makes it difficult on him, he won't be bothered to put in the time. When he does dump her, help her to see that there are other guys out there who will value her for her strengths and will want to interact with her family and will treat her with respect. But, don't be condemning, judgemental or harsh. What your daughter needs most right now is love, compassion and understanding, and most of all, a non judgemental, symapthetic shoulder to cry on.

Answer 9

What the hell is a 16 y.o having unprotected sex for in the first place? You need to sit down and have a serious talk with the child (because she is hardly an adult) about being responsible. If she insists on having sex she should be using protection.

Please make an appointment for the child to see a therapist because she obviously has low self-esteem to let herself be put in that situation. I have a feeling that your daughter does not have a very close relationship with her father. She really needs to deal with this before it is too late.

Answer 10

You have to let her make her own decision. Now that she has an std she probably thinks she can not get anyone else. You the parent can make her stop seeing him. That is why children get these kinds of things because their parents do not discipline them. But it is really to late to do anything now that she has an std