please give honest opinons and don't write me off cos i know i might sound jealous and petty. my boyfriend is moving in with his best female friend just him and her who he fancied when he first met her. she is renound for sleeping around and has no scruples for going after men in relationships in fact it gives her a buzz to do that. she isn't very pretty so it's not like i think she's a real threat cos she's a real stunner and he doesn't fancy her now and nothing has ever happened between them and they have been friends for 2 years. he knows i don't like her and don't like the way she behaves. don't get me wrong i have loads of close girlfriends and usually i'm a real girls girl.
basically can someone tell me i'm not being ridiculous cos he says i am but can he love me that much if he moves in with her when he knows it makes me feel prickly and is it understandable i feel jealous and weird about it cos whether it's right or wrong i just do!!!
elp!
2006-10-30 03:11:48 · 17 answers · asked by fionazzz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
his point of view is he is skint the room is v cheap - true.
he doesn't fancy her (i believe that)
she doesn't fancy him (i believe that)
she is a nice girl and not just about sleeping around (sure people are not just 2 dimentional)
he doesn't want to live with strangers and can't afford to live on his own (i see this)
so he has got a different story.
???
2006-10-30 03:36:29 · update #1
i think my main concerns are
it makes me feel insecure and vulnerable but he doesn't seem to care or even listen just says it's ridiculous. but sounds like most people would feel even slightly jealous
IF they live together they might bond and things might change. they might not but it sure gives them every chance to!!
2006-10-30 03:38:50 · update #2
How long have you been dating? Personally, I would have a really hard time with this. Why is he moving in with her and not you? I have been married for 22 years and know from experience that even if they are friends things can still happen. Especially if they are put in that close proximity.
2006-10-30 03:20:23 · answer #1 · answered by bowler 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay i don't blame ya one bit. I am not the jealoust type myself but um....hello why is he moving in with her and not u? and for that matter i hope u are fully aware that the term " friends" isn't used quite the same way as it was in grade school. It is used quite loosely now a days. Think on that a minute. And if he had a thing for her when they first met how did that change between now and then....my point is u don't know and obviously he knew her before u so u should really get that background on this story and if it already makes u feel uncomfortable and you've told him and he isn't too worried then there something wrong there too. Regardless of the situation your opinion should always matter. So all and all i don't think ur in the wrong here so just do your best not to get played for a fool. Good luck
2006-10-30 11:21:43 · answer #2 · answered by AngelBaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand totally ~ why does he need to move in with this girl? Isn't there a male friend or can't the two of you share a place? It would be difficult I think knowing that he had a thing for her and is now going to be in the same living quarters as her - I would suggest really sitting down with him and talking this through- I am sure there are other arrangements that can be made - If you feel this uncomfortable with it now these feelings probably will not go away and might cause you problems later in your relationship with this man. good luck ~
2006-10-30 11:18:02 · answer #3 · answered by me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I don't think it's that big a deal. I moved in with one of my best friends who happened to be a guy. I mean if you can't trust him, the relationship isn't very worthwhile. The one concern I would have is that you don't like her... this can make for an incredibly akward situation when you are over. I would wait a few months and see how it goes. If it doesn't work out because of their living arrangement, it wouldn't have worked anyways.
(But as a sidenote: I don't blame you for being jealous.. it's only natural when you care about someone.)
2006-10-30 11:23:23 · answer #4 · answered by Chloe M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This all sounds so familiar. Years ago my best male friend and I got a flat together. He'd always fancied me but I just liked him as a friend (and I had lots of boyfriends). His then girlfriend found the whole thing quite threatening, I later learnt. But eventually I moved towns, he bought a house and now they're married with kids. And we're all still friends - she just got used to the idea of him having a female friend. The whole problem was her insecurity which vanished once they married. I'm not saying your situation is exactly the same but it sure sounds it!
2006-10-30 11:27:23 · answer #5 · answered by crosbie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he will do what he wants to do regardless of how you feel about it. I dont think i would feel happy about the set up either. You should spend as much time there as you can and view the situation from the inside. Dont let him think you see her as a threat as he may start seeing her in a diff light if you see her as a poss threat. I would ask the question-why does he want to flat share with a girl and not a fella??
2006-10-30 11:27:53 · answer #6 · answered by blubird0000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd feel exactly the same, but you shouldn't make too much of a fuss otherwise you'll just end up pushing him away further. Tell him you're not happy about it but don't stop him from doing it. Try and be the mature one as she obviously isn't going to be. He'll respect you mcuh more and perhaps change his mind.
2006-10-30 11:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by Elisabeth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your reaction is completely normal! If it didn´t freak you out it would be strange. He should respect your feelings about this and not try to write if off as you being ridiculous. Why is he moving in with her in the first place? No matter the reason , he should not do it since it makes you upset. I would not accept this.
2006-10-30 11:19:03 · answer #8 · answered by Eileen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I wouldn't be happy so I understand where you're coming from but relationships have to be about trust. It really shouldn't matter that she's a complete slapper if you trust him enough not to do anything with her. I'm sure he loves you very much. If it's doing your head in this much, maybe you should sit him down and talk to him (calmly!!) about your fears and how upset you are about it.
2006-10-30 11:20:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think you're being ridiculous at all sweetheart. if it makes you feel any better id be reacting the same if not worse.
trust your instincts but dont smother you're boyfriend as that only push him closer to her.
and in your own subtle way, just let the girl know that you dont trust her as far as you could throw her.
2006-10-30 11:17:49 · answer #10 · answered by clutterbug84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋