they slept with someone you absolutely hate way before you'll start dating years ago and they never told you until now.
2006-10-30 03:11:32 · 28 answers · asked by Wassup 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It was way in the past before you. So while I'm sure it is natural for you to experience some negative feelings after hearing this, remember it was before you ever started dating. It is good that he at least told you. When all is said and done would you rather not know? What if you had heard it from the person you hate, wouldn't that be worse? In the midst of the negative it is a big positive that he disclosed this to you.
If you react too angered or hurt to his telling you this truth, you may make him think twice before telling you another truth in the future.
Just try to take the emotion out of it, it was not about you, or to hurt you, he was not dating you at the time. Don't worry about it, be glad for what you two have.
*One more thing, he probably waited this long to tell you because he knew that he loved you and that was the past, so why risk upsetting you. He probably just arrived to the point where he felt he could trust you with the truth. This is a big deal with men and women. Now, show him that he can trust you, by not getting emotional. Don't take your feud with this other person out on him. You can be honest that at first it made you a little uneasy only because you can't stand that other person and you'd rather scratch her eyeballs out than any think else, but that doesn't matter really. (Make sure he understands that your feud with this other person is not about him either. That it was there long before he came in your picture. Or he may assume he caused you all this unhappiness by telling you the truth about a small meaningless blip in his past. Trust me you want the doors of honesty always open and you are the one who may unwittingly shut them.) You and He are together and that is what you truly care about.
2006-10-30 03:22:50 · answer #1 · answered by whostolemyprofile 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely nothing. If you are getting upset over this than you may have some kind of issue about insecurity with yourself. Its pretty unfair to get upset at something that no one can do anything about, especially this.
My response would be: "Honey, I'm sorry you feel this way. If I were able to look into the future with some psychic ability and see that I was going to be with you back then, I would have never slept with that person that you hate so much."
See how ridiculous it is? 90% of the time only women would be upset at something like this because most women think too irrational sometimes.
2006-10-30 03:16:36 · answer #2 · answered by gregthedesigner 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Let byegones be bygones. Why torment yourself over something that happened so far in the past when you werent even in a relationship?
They probably didnt want to hurt you, and quite frankly if you werent even dating at the time I dont see what difference it makes.
2006-10-30 03:14:59 · answer #3 · answered by Iamco2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are upset about this you better hold on because there is going to a rocky road ahead!!!!!!! What happened before should not matter . Focus on the important issues, like being happy
2006-10-30 03:27:12 · answer #4 · answered by dettie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past, no ones business unless you chose to put everything out there then be prepared. I would let it go, they are with you now, not the person you dislike, and it was years ago, so I say let it go. Be happy, forget the past, make your own memories!
2006-10-30 03:15:46 · answer #5 · answered by MiMi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Realisticly it has nothing to do with you. That happened years ago and yeah it was a secret but it was before you guys were involved. I mean what can you really do know though anyway. Are you gonna love them less?
2006-10-30 03:14:50 · answer #6 · answered by DLB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it or make too big of a deal about it, especially in front of him it will only make him feel bad. The only thing that matters is that he chose you and he loves you. The past is over, let it go.
2006-10-30 03:14:01 · answer #7 · answered by Jamie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's better not to know everything. Since it's part of his past, there was no reason to hurt you by telling you about it. What someone does before you start dating or get married can't count against them. They didn't mean to wrong you. I think this is one of those things you just have to let go. Not telling you was obviously in your best interest.
2006-10-30 03:16:46 · answer #8 · answered by andi b 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I know it bothers you, but dont worry so much about it. He's with you now and he loves you. Im sure he wouldnt like everyone that you slept with either. Just tell him to keep stuff like that to himself because you dont want to know every person he's slept with. I mean, why would you want to picture him having sex with someone else right?
2006-10-30 03:14:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it happened years before you got together, try not to think about it. While honesty is best, he probably didn't want to upset you. Just talk to him about it and be honest about how you feel and remember - your the one married they married! That has to say alot.
2006-10-30 03:16:09 · answer #10 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋