Im 15 and my boyfriend is 20 and I know that the law states that he has to be exactly 4 years older than me and when we go out in public he is so scared. He won't touch me and put his arms around me he wont even kiss me but when its me and him its okay. Sometimes I ask him if he is okay with being with me seeing as though he is older than me. I am turning 16 in two months though. I don't want him to be with me and he is going to be scared. I want us to be able to have a very "open in the public" relationship. Please tell me how I could approach him on this? Tell me how I could get a real answer about how he really feels?
2006-10-30 02:58:28 · 36 answers · asked by destinyangel911 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Him being scared says he knows he's wrong.
2006-10-30 03:00:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I don't know any state where it is okay for a 20 year to date anyone under 17 (usually the limit is 18). But even by your standards what he is doing is a crime. He can't be open about your relationship in public, he could really be arrested and depending on the laws of the state he could do time even if you two did not have "sex." I don't think you can make him feel better about that.
2006-10-30 03:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by The Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look people, there is NOTHING illegal about "dating" someone younger than 18. She said nothing about sexual contact. It always bothers me that people assume that "dating" must include sex. MANY great relationships are between people who have vast age differences. As long as they are following the law then what is YOUR problem? My advice to this young lady and her slightly older boyfriend is to NOT have sex until she is much older. If he is willing to wait for her for a few years, I think he is one great guy and will have a good solid relationship built on something real and not just sex.
Why does everyone have to assume the worse? This girl didn't saw a thing about sex. Also, SOME people ALWAYS assume the question is coming from an American. We are not all living in USA and don't have to worry about the laws of YOUR state. She needs to check the law in HER country, province/state, city, etc. and be sure they are legal. If they are not legal, then they need to BOTH act accordingly so that he is not in jeopardy of the law.
Finally, my advice to the young lady is to listen to her more mature boyfriend who is thinking with his brain. Don't pressure him for public displays of affection. Trust him... just go out places and be close friends and see where it goes. Avoid sex until you are legal and you are both ready.
2006-10-30 03:12:28 · answer #3 · answered by Roger S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I started dating my now husband when I was 16 (almost 17)and he was 25. For the first year or so he was the same way our families knew there was a 9yr age differance but he didn't want the public to respond about us. If you and your boyfriend feel your worth staying together than maybe public displays of affection should wait for a little while.
2006-10-30 03:05:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has reason to be scared. You are a minor, and he is not.
Should you have sex, he can go to jail. It would be very wise for you both to see others of your own respective ages. Once you're 18, it will no longer be a legal issue. So if you still wish to see each other in 3 years, when you're 18 and he's 23, it's no big deal. Do you both feel that it's worth the wait???
2006-10-30 03:04:44 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little girl:
There a lot of things going on here and some of them you won't like to hear about.
You are child
He is an adult
You want a lot of things
He is a pedophile
You are a victim
He is a criminal
Check on the age of consent in your state. Turning 16 may but probably won't change any of the above list.
I honestly don't know who to wish "good luck". But it certainly won't be him.
2006-10-30 03:13:14 · answer #6 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your boyfriend is aware of the law. I also think that you are way to young to start dating a 20 year old man. However, if your parents are aware of it and approves, then whom am I to say diffrentley.
I think your boyfriend is also being respectful of you and that he may just care about you more then you think. He is not trying to take advantage of you. However you should wait to have an open relationship when your ages are within the scope of the law.
2006-10-30 03:02:15 · answer #7 · answered by JC J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what state you live in or what law you are talking about. However, there is something seriously wrong with a 20 year old MAN dating a 15 (almost 16) year old GIRL. This is a recipe for disaster and (for him) jail time!
2006-10-30 03:01:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Any 20 year old who is dating a 15 year old is pretty messed up. If the two of you can't even be together in public, what kind of relationship is it? He needs help and he needs to date someone closer to his own age.
2006-10-30 03:01:52 · answer #9 · answered by troythom 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should do what feels right. I'd be scared too if I was him. Because thats almost 40 yrs. in jail. I don't blame him. But just tell him how you feel about the situation and if he truly love him he'll understand. Hope this helped. Good luck!
2006-10-30 03:03:26 · answer #10 · answered by ♥£eah♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do this...Go out with him and be open about your relationship around the right people. If he won't hold your hand...grab his... If he won't kiss you...Kiss him. Let him know it is okay. Just make sure 5-0 isn't around. I been there nothing is wrong with it. Be happy and find out where he stands.
2006-10-30 03:05:01 · answer #11 · answered by PrInCeSs P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋