Please help me help my 8 year old daughter! Kaitlyn is being bullied at school....?

Question

by another little girl in her grade. She has made serious threats to Kaitlyn, (such as suggesting she will bring a gun to school and blow her away), my daughter has come home with many different bruises, but the thing that breaks my heart is that Kaitlyn has no friends now and she seems depressed. She is always fearful to go to school now, cries daily about it, and I know this is not a healthy situation.

Yes, I've talked to her teacher and the principal, and they refuse to see the problem. They view the bullying child as a sweet little thing that is respectful to adults. We've also enrolled Kaitlyn in Tae Kwon Do and self-defense classes, but she is still very afraid of this child.

Short of homeschooling her, what else can I do? What legal rights does she have? Please help me.

Thank you for caring enough to read & answer.

Answer 1

This just happened to my 11 year old and his school ignored us! Document all past occurrences of bullying in writing. Send copies of this to the teacher, principle and school board. You also need to send a letter to the same stating that it is the schools responsibility to provide a safe learning environment for your daughter and take all threats seriously. Request that they take action against the bully to properly protect your daughter.
For every future threat, bruise or comment document it and have any witness write a statement. Send each occurrence in writing to the teacher, principle and school board.
It will not take long for this problem to be resolved.
I am sorry your daughter is going through this. Our children are having to grow up too fast.

Answer 2

The martial arts classes will only work in the long run. My husband and I own a MA school, and we have alot of students that have enrolled for this very reason. We always tell our parents that it takes some time, your daughter needs relief now.

Talk to those teachers again! This should not be blown off. Bruising is serious, take pictures of them. Show them to the teachers. Where are they alone long enough for this to be happening? Find out and report it to the school, make sure they are being supervised. I'm sorry to have to say this, but you may need to talk to a lawyer. One phone call from a lawyer, and that school WILL pay attention. Once you have their attention you can work on the problem. Is there another class your daughter can be moved to? I don't usually recommend that step, but sometimes it is the only way. Try to find out why your daughter is the target. Is she very passive? Did she embarrass this other girl somehow? Is your daughter way above or below her peers in a subject? If you can identify the reason why she is targeted, maybe you can help. Be careful to not hurt her self esteem any more by trying to identify the problem, but sometimes it can be an easy fix. I'm sorry your little girl has to go through this, and I hope you find a solution soon!!

Answer 3

I agree that you should call the police. If this girl has threatened your daughter with a gun that is a serious offense. It is a death threat. You should also report to the police that you've spoken to the school authorities and they laughed it off.

I think the tae kwon do is a great idea and I think it would also be a good idea to get her some counseling. The problem I see with homeschooling, is that it might isolate your daughter further. Are there any private church schools in your area? They may have scholarships available if cost is a problem. Or perhaps you could take her to school in another school district. I hope that it all works out for her. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

I would definitely call the police. Since the school chooses to do nothing about it I would force their hand. Maybe if the police show up it will wake them up. They need to know that they can be held responsible if something were to happen, such as a gun being brought to school and someone being hurt. I can't believe that with everything that has happened in the past few years with school violence, that your school has such a lax attitude about it. And I would also let the school board and at least the superintendent know what kind of an attitude one of their teachers and principals has concerning school violence. I don't know what age your child is, but I know bad things don't only happen in high schools. I live just a few miles from the school in Jonesboro, Ark. where just a few years ago two middle school aged boys shot and killed middle school aged children and a teacher.

Good luck.

Answer 5

You know, this happened to me when I was in third grade, and I bet everyone in the world has at least one bully story. Unfortunately, in today's society, we can no longer think of bullying as a harmless thing that happens to all kids at some point, because the school violence has indeed become very real. I'm surprised the teacher and principal are not becoming more involved in your daughter's problem, because I know that most school districts take bully threats very seriously in this post-Columbine society. The school I used to work for had a whole procedure that we had to be trained in, about what steps to take to stop a bullying situation. Each incident had to be well-documented and examined from both sides, parents of bith children involved had to be called in for a conference, etc. Maybe you could look into another school that is not so lax in their bullying policy.

Another piece of advice I have for you is to take matters into your own hands by setting up a meeting with the bully's parents. I know that's what my mom did when I was having this trouble. Your daughter probably won't like that idea so much, because sometimes bullying can get worse once the child has been punished by her parents. She may want to seek revenge on Kaitlyn. However, it is important to let this child's parents know what their daughter is up to, as it sounds like the teachers keep telling them that they have a sweet little girl. Setting up a friendly conference at your home or somewhere neutral might diffuse the situation. Just remember to keep it civil, in case the bullying is genetic and the parents are just as confrontational as their daughter.
One more thing, and it pains me to say it- are you positive that your daughter is not instigating these attacks? It's never right to hit or bully, but I feel I must ask because I know that when I was a child I had a tendency to stir up situations with bullies bby saying unkind things to them even when they weren't in "attack" mode, or by spreading rumors about the "mean girls" to my friends. What I'm saying is, you need to come to her class and observe your daughter's behavior without her seeing you, just to be 100% positive that she is not at fault before you proceed with trying to get the bully to stop. If you can tell for sure that Kaitlyn is doing absolutely nothing to provoke this girl, then you need to intervene by talking to her parents or pulling Kaitlyn out of the class and putting her in another school. If, however, you do notice anything Kaitlyn is doing that could possibly be sparking this bullying, you might want to have a talk with her to help her understand how her actions can have an effect on others' attitudes. I think the worst thing you could do right now is homeschool her. She probably already feels alienated and lonely enough. Having to sit at home and do lessons while she knows her peers are laughing together on a playground or going on a field trip will only exacerbate her feelings of isolation and cause her to become withdrawn and introverted in her adult years. You sound like a really caring parent and I hope you can find a way to make this stop.

Answer 6

My son is only 10 months so I have never experienced what you are going through. However I did find some resources online.

I think that it is your right to protect your child and if the school system doesn't do anything about it then you must take action. In Florida we have a voucher program setup to where if the parent can prove that the school system has failed their child then the state will give the parents a voucher to attend a private school for free.

Not sure how that works in every state but I'm sure that the system has failed your child, considering they are putting her through emotional and physical harm without taking action.
I hope that this link helps you.

Good luck I wish you and yours all the best!

http://www.bullypolice.org/student_bill_of_rights.html

Answer 7

often what people fail to realize is that bullies are bullied at home.. anyhow I am sure that doesnt help you at all..have you contacted the parents of the other child?
ask your kid to be switched to a different class or switch schools.. smaller schools are generally better because fewer kids means the teachers know exactly what is going on...
your kid needs to learn how to stand up to this kid... she needs to know its ok to yell back but I doubt you can teach this kind of thing - she needs lots of self esteme
I was bullied too when I was younger I dont suspect anything would have helped people could have told me what to do - but I was still too shy/nervous to do it.. now however I would yell swear and made a big commotion.. but at that age it was different.. you know your "rank" and dont dare go out of the boarders.. there is a pecking order you fall into for whatever reason
will homeschooling help? no - she still wont learn how to stand up for herself.. I dont know if the self defense classes will help - its self esteme she needs most

good luck (dont stop talking to the teacher and principle)

I like the idea of calling the police too

Answer 8

She has every legal right to be schooled without fear of physical or mental harm. If the school will do nothing, contact an attorney. Once they receive a letter from the attorney, I bet they jump to action and if they don't I would transfer to another school in the area if it's possible. Call an attorney for advice, but I've heard of other people suing schools and winning because of this issue.

Answer 9

If this little weirdo is threatening your child with a gun, make sure you call the police. Also, my son was having problems with a little boy (he's 6) who was punching him on the bus and being very mean... I invited the boy (through his mother) to come over for a sleepover and we went and played laser tag and did a lot of activities that they had to do together. They are really good friends now. Turns out the little boy was getting picked on by older kids and his outlet was to pick on my son. Now that they are friends, he has someone to play with and he's not so mean to the other kids.

Answer 10

Go over the teacher and principals head and talk to your counties school Superintendent. And be sure to let him know that the teacher and principal did not seem to care. Good Luck. No child should have to put up with that at school.