would you feel he didn't care?
2006-10-30 02:39:11 · 58 answers · asked by fred 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It depends on his view of marraige, to him it may just be a piece of paper. Or perhaps he's scared of the commitment for an understandable reason ie getting hurt in previous relationships or his parents' relationship-marraige failing. He may be trying to avoid getting hurt. Or it may be that he is not confident enough to ask you. Or is worried about the fuss and money a wedding creates. Try to establish what the real reason is by talking to him or by process of illimination, until then do not assume its because he doesn't care.
2006-10-30 07:28:46 · answer #1 · answered by tangle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would depend on your relationship with your partner, have you talked at all about marriage, or are you satisfied being with this person without a piece of paper binding you two together? There isnt' anything wrong with staying together without being married, but there is a down side to this, you need to have your preference's legally documented by a lawyer stating what should happen in the event of you separating and or death. You should do this to protect the both of you. I have known friends that were together for 23 years without a marriage license, then a death accurred, causing a lot of hurt feelings about possesions, money, property, and the cost of funeral ect... this was a big issue. I certainly would not feel he didn't care for me by not popping the question, but I would put it out there on the table so he can share with you on this. Four years isn't a long time if you are comfortable with your relationship, and it's no ones bussiness what your living arrangements are. Relax and be happy that you have a person to share your time with.
2006-10-30 03:09:50 · answer #2 · answered by MiMi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a feeling you are the he rather than the she Fred, but anyway I have been with my beau for 5 years, and I know he will never ask me - as he doesn't believe in marriage. (Apparently) Some cynical types may say - that's just an excuse to avoid commitment, but actually 5 years is a commitment in itself. I wouldn't mind getting married, but as I feel marriage is something two people must be really sure about I am fine with it all. Anyway, there was a program on the other day saying 50% of marriages in England end in divorce - so it is really wise to think very carefully about it. The most IMPORTANT thing is to talk about it with each other - if you know how each other feel about the matter there will be no confusion about whether or not someone cares or loves you.
Relationships are hard work sometime, but really communication does wonders.
2006-10-30 02:59:14 · answer #3 · answered by anna f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would feel fine about it. I didn't get married to my partner until we had been together for 8 years. Proposing to someone doesn't always mean they care. Doing the washing up or saying how pretty you look even when you have a cold and a big red nose are more caring gestures than putting a ring on a finger.
2006-10-30 21:39:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not made it clear to your boyfriend what you want.... I have told my boyfriend (of 2 years now) since the beggining I don't want to get married now but I do want to get married and I will not waste my time on something that will not happen. I gave him a 5 year gap either propose or walk away. It hasn't been the 5 years but he already told his mom that he wants to propose and that he will do it for next month. His mom ruined the suprise but is so nice to know. Long story short; is to late to make it clear since the begining so let him know what is it that you want... is he says he is not ready do this---- start seeing less of him (if you see him everyday, cut it down to once a week) stop giving sex so often (if you do) start going out with your girlfriends and if you are comfortable start dating again. He will start missing you and will approach you in your dramatic change. When he does you just let him know that your life does not revolve around him YET. If he loves you this will work, if not get ready to say good-bye. Good luck
2006-10-30 05:33:43 · answer #5 · answered by sweet lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that's just men all over, if they are happy with things the way they are why change anything. You should start to drop hints about engagement specially now Christmas is coming this will give him the perfect opportunity to get you a ring. My friend has been with her her partner for 8 years and still not even a sniff of a wedding, I know people people who have been with there partners for years and even have kids and still no intention of getting married. Marriage isn't every-ones cup of tea if their parents or someone they know has had a bad experience.
2006-10-30 02:54:47 · answer #6 · answered by bez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would depend on the strength of our relationship, our age, and whether or not we had lived together yet. My fiance and I got engaged at 4 years 8 months, but we're in college. So....I wouldn't have expected anything sooner nor would I have wanted it sooner. If we had been living together for years and clearly could both see each other raising our kids and having a home and life together, then I would just ask him how he's feeling about it. I wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that he doesn't care.
2006-10-30 04:58:20 · answer #7 · answered by ixi26c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband proposed to me after 5 years and I married him, which was 7 years ago. I am afraid to say that I think that he married me because I was still hanging on in there rather than he loved me madly. We get on ok but I sometimes think I've missed out on a relationship with real spark and being with someone who was crazy about me, Let's face it, if they wanted us that much and they wanted marriage that much, they would have suggested it by year 2! My husband still says that he's not the marrying kind too which hurts after all this time. I'd say get out now if marriage is what you want, Don't just hang on waiting for them to change or see your way.
2006-10-30 03:32:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like he doesn't want to get married, not necessarily that he didn't care. Have you ever even DISCUSSED marriage? If not, then I'd seriously worry about how you stayed together for such a long time without the subject being broached.
Four years is NOT rushing anything. Don't be kept hanging. Ask him to marry you and if he says no, find out why, then decide what you want to do next.
2006-10-30 02:49:06 · answer #9 · answered by katy1pm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No... if marriage isn't on the agenda then you should have known that when you first got together. Weigh the pros and cons of marrriage - why is it so important to you? If marriage is your goal then you should be with someone who has the same goal as you.
For some people marriage isn't happiness.
I've been with my partner four years and I don't need a proposal to feel secure.
2006-10-30 02:49:21 · answer #10 · answered by meilin h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋