My daughter's biolagical father refuse to meet her,i've tried everything to convince him that it is his daughter.Am i triying too hard?i've simply put myself down when he agrees to meet her for the first time.But he don't show up.MY little sunshine deserves a father.I am taking him to court for child support,but there are only two laywers in the whole reagion of nunvut.What should i say or do?Should i just leave him alone and let him get away with it.ia m all out of answers.She is already five and a half months old and he has missed everything!I tried avoiding that to happen but he don't call back.One look at her and he'll know that he fatherd her.
I know (we both) it was a one night stand but we should not take it out on one innocent child who was born to this cruel world!She did not ask to be here.What shold i do?Plz help me out.
2006-10-30 02:35:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I grew up without my father as well, I dont even know what he looks like, a child doesnt need a father who doesnt want her, I know I didnt. Move on with your life, tell her everyday how much you love her, and when the question comes up to where is my daddy, you simply answer, He was just too scared to be a daddy, so I get to love you twice as much!
2006-10-30 03:33:15 · answer #1 · answered by tweek 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you need help as far as financial situation goes, or have him do the right thing, then I would get a court ordered DNA test. As far as forcing him to have a relationship with his daughter, that is not good. It may end up pushing him further away from her. You cannot make someone be a father overnight, it is a process that may take time. My best advice for you is to pursue child support(after the DNA test), let him decide when he wants a relationship with her, and give her all your love...enough for two parents. And if the test proves he is the father, reassure him that you do not expect him to play father, you just want him to do the right thing for your daughter. Good luck! :)
2006-10-30 03:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't force him meet her if he doesn't want to.. It willbe in his concience for the rest of his life you have try and that is what it matters, she doesn't need a "father" that haven't being there for her this years you are her mother and father and that's what it matters she has YOUR love & protection maybe later on in life you will find a good man that can be her father figure..As for child support do it do all you can to arrange visitation and economically help if he doesn't want to visit her or meet her don't bother him any more you will have profs for your daugther so she can see that you try all that was in tiuyr hands so she can have contact with "dad", that way she will not blame you in the future for not trying.,. You can either save her child support money for her future or emergency.. just make sure it is stayed in a courth that he is the "father" and now it willbe his responsability to pay child support no matter if he doesn't want to meet her.. I feel bad too My ex knows his daugther and have had contact this past years ( she is 5 too) but he haven't look for her in the past year, he seems not to care anymore he is paying child support but he doesn't visit her anymore ...But thank god a have a wonderful husband who loves her like her own daugther and cares for her too so for her he is her father he migth not be her biological father but father is not only the one who procreates a child.. a real father gives loves, cares and protects his/ her child ... Good luck & best wishes for the both of you just love her and protect her like a mother and a father because that is what you are !!!!
2006-10-30 05:45:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying to force him into a relationship with her can do more damage then good. What you should do is the best you can, and leave the door open for when he/they are ready.
By trying to force it you may only chase him further away.
However financially she is his responsablity, so go for the support. While he may be unready or incapable of supplying emotional needs, he needs to help from a financial standpoint.
By the way just because I am a dad don't think I do not know how you feel. My oldest who I have custody of is my step-daughter (I hate that term). To me she is mine 100%. Her bio-dad has nothing to do with her. My ex got pregnant by him while in high school, and had my step-daughter. I occasionally talk to him, though he isn't ready to talk to her. He however knows if there ever is a time when he is ready that the two of them are always welcome to talk, that my door is open. I do not activly pursue his presence in her life though.
2006-10-30 02:38:56 · answer #4 · answered by David W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off your daughter wasnt a 'mistake'. You chose to birth her. The only mistake was not spending time looking for a good man first to commit to you. If you couldn't get him to be a husband, then what makes you think he'll suddenly be a good father.
I would suggest moving on with your life and not spending your life seeking vengeance. One day you may have to explain to your daughter that this situation exists and it was both parents fault (not just his), but never tell her she came here by 'mistake'.
2006-10-30 04:51:35 · answer #5 · answered by xoxo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get child support but when the father is ready to grow up and be a man he will want to see his child in the mean time raise the child as a single parent. It takes time but women grow up and mature faster then men do so give him time when he is ready for that part of his life he will come to you
2006-10-30 03:46:43 · answer #6 · answered by webscoundral 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with David W. If you'd really wanted your daughter to have a father, you'd have waited until you were with father material. This guy isn't worth the time or effort, and may even be a bad influence. Let your daughter go on with her life instead of being constantly rejected by this pinhead. Better he's out of her life now, instead of her getting to know him and then he splits.
But go after him for support.
2006-10-30 02:47:50 · answer #7 · answered by DaBasset - BYBs kill dogs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your little sunshine was an accident... You need to learn to live with that and not make him feel guilty...
You say she deserves a father but obviously you didnt think that way when you got down and dirty with the guy... so now that you are stuck with a kid you suddenly are becoming a "good" person... come on...
If you REALLY thought she deserved a father you would have given her for adoption to a family that wants a child.
move on - you made a mistake DO NOT dwell on it forever.. if you want to be a good parent you will drop your lawsuit against him... and move on with your life... why should he pay for your mistake?? if I were a guy and a woman did that to me I would order the kid for adoption or insist she give the kid to me rather than pay support...
2006-10-30 02:45:51 · answer #8 · answered by CF_ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You get a paternity test. Once you find out for sure, start getting child support. But I wouldn't push him to meet her. Especially since it was a one night stand. Think about your baby, it might be better for her to be w/o a father, than to know who he is but never see him. She will wonder why her daddy never wants to see her, why he doesn't want to spend time with her. Just let things happen naturally and pray about it every day.
2006-10-30 03:41:16 · answer #9 · answered by amyvnsn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should ask yourself do you want someone in your child life who doesn't care? I'm sure she would sense this sooner or later. yes I'd go after child support you will need the help. Love her with every bit of your heart, and don't worry about him its his loss not yours.
2006-10-30 02:47:57 · answer #10 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋