i have a long distance relationship and i love her so much but i have been helping her financially and i trying to get enough money together to move to her, but she is taking too much and its for rent and car and living she hasnt got a job and relies on me, i am so stressed by it, i have been to see her like 30 times over the past 3 yrs but she never come to me, she says she is a lady and loves shopping on my card, she is reticent to even kiss and hasnt stayed over even though i have asked always an excuse of some sort, now i find out from an ex which she didnt tell me about that she was very sexual but i know he lived close and she says we will get there when i move over but at the moment i am stuck financially, what can i do i dont want to dump her she is the love of my life!
2006-10-30 02:14:02 · 36 answers · asked by peterjones3967 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
u r being used for your money
stop the card now
2006-10-30 02:16:57 · answer #1 · answered by q6656303 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Have you seen Eastenders recently? Minty was in a similar predicament, ok I know it's not real life, but he was just as blinkered about "the love of his life" as you seem to be. If she was really into you she would at least give you her time, and visit you. Besides anything else - doesn't the 'lady' feel that expecting the man to provide is slightly archaic? This may be ok if you were commited to each other, but it sounds like you aren't even sure if you can trust her, and by the way taking advice from someones ex is probably not the way to go.
2006-10-30 03:32:52 · answer #2 · answered by anna f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like she is your love but you are not hers. Why do you want to be in a relationship where only one of yous is putting in all the effort? Look here i am doing the long distance thing too and we both put in a effort to see each other because we love each other. We both put in effort to help each other with money issues because we are a team. And we both put in a effort to talk and work out our problems instead of making excuses. So if i were you I would think twice about moving down there and think twice about your relationship. I wish you the best of luck. OH yeah and my boyfriend lives in a whole different country and we still make it work. And we are both saving money so he can come live with me. So if she really loved you then there should be no excuse.
2006-10-30 02:23:34 · answer #3 · answered by homie_j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, she is playing you.
Why isn't she working? What are you supporting her for? I presume she isn't incapable of working, like the rest of us do i.e. support herself and stand on her own two feet.
Where is your own self-respect? I believe in waiting before becoming intimate, but 3 years? I am guessing that you are a mature adult, as is she, and not two teenagers.
What kind of woman would not support herself, take a man's card to go shopping and then, on top of that, make excuses for three years when he wanted to become intimate?
She doesn't even want to kiss you? Are you serious? Not even a good old fashioned kiss? Even 'ladies' do that, if they really like you a lot.
I'm betting you are in an enormous mind game, and you are the loser. Sorry.
There are better, more honest women out there. She is an infatuation, not the love of your life.
2006-10-30 02:37:56 · answer #4 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this but the girl is using you and laughing all the way to the bank. If she is reluctant to even kiss you that should tell you something. Don't let this woman take advantage of you. Kick her to the curb now. I bet if you cut out the financial help she would dump you because that is all she has you around for. There are plently of fish in the sea. Move on my friend and best of luck to you.
2006-10-30 02:24:10 · answer #5 · answered by Darcee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that perhaps you should get a part time job to earn a bit of extra money. Clearly this woman is worth you lavishing all of your current earnings on her but wouldn't it be nice to save up some money so that you can go and visit her as a fantastic surprise? I am sure that she would love you even more if you just showed up out of the blue one Friday night.
2006-10-30 02:55:49 · answer #6 · answered by Minxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she clearly doesnt care enough about you to help you out .. its not back in the day when the guy had to work ..if she has a car atleast she could go find a job i would dump that biotch she is giving women everywhere a bad name.... im a woman i work hard for everything that i have and i dont need anyone to pay for anything for me thats how it should be sorry man shes using you cuz you let her dont really know how you could think thats the love of your life plain and simple you pay for everything she doesnt do anything with her day and she cant come to see you yeah man youre being played
2006-10-30 02:21:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Over the past 3 years, she hasn't even visited you? I don't pretend to even begin to understand your circumstances fully, but it looks like she's taking you for a ride. You need to discuss the situation, and your unhappiness with it in detail with her, to try and resolve it. The outcome may not be what you want in the short-term, especially if you decide to break it off, but from the information you've given, your own happiness is starting to suffer. If it's starting to make you unhappy, then you should start to think of yourself, as there's no point trying to alter something, or throw money at it, if it's detrimental to your own well-being in a serious way.
2006-10-30 02:19:39 · answer #8 · answered by Sam L 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
she's clearly using u. not to mention playing mind games with u. if she was in love with u as much as u are with her, she would want to see u and be with u 24/7 and wouldn't mind kissing u in a heartbeat. don't be a fool. look at this from a 3rd party aspect.
but also how sure are u that this "ex" of hers can be relied on to telling the truth? he could be lying. but of course if u approach her she'd deny and make u feel bad and guilty. she sounds cunning. u better make a fast decision to prevent further hurting urself.
2006-10-30 02:29:30 · answer #9 · answered by Liz^24 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it relatively is sick and he needs to end the relationship. His ex is pleased with this? Thats in simple terms sick. She would desire to have relatively low self-nicely worth to think of its alright to be somebody's sideline chick. She ought to understand she merits greater effective than that. he's a jerk for permitting this habit. yet he would not prefer to harm his present day gf? Yeah good. How does he think of she's gonna sense while she famous out the reality? She's gonna throw a social gathering? i think of no longer! She's gonna be pissed on the certainty that she had no say so in this twisted affair. he's sexin the ex and his present day....HELLOOOOO!!!! can we are saying ailments and STD's waiting to happen? however the poor gf would not even understand! Thats completely no longer honest to her she ought to have a say in wether she desires to handle this relationship or no longer. He needs to return sparkling and rapid. because he desires to verify and have intercourse together with his ex plenty then why don't you be along with her? yet atleast he needs to guy up and tell his present day gf hiya!
2016-10-21 00:03:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, are you serious? If you want to stop this then you need to tell your girlfriend that she needs to get a job. Second, you need to stop paying for everything for her. she needs to stand on her own two feet and you need to grow a spine and stand up to her (if she starts any drama over this). You are being taken to the cleaners. No wonder you are so stressed. If her car gets taken away or if she gets kicked out of her apartment, then it serves her right for taken advantage of you. Second...it kinda serves you right too for allowing this to happen in the first place. If you want this to stop then stop it. Talking to her will not do anything...you have got to take action for yourself. You are not made of money, but she thinks that you are.
2006-10-30 02:26:58 · answer #11 · answered by cfalways 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋