im getting married very soon....?

Question

im getting married very soon...n im little scared about first night...wat to do to make him happy, i hope married people will respond to the same

Answer 1

Your first night



Of course, no one can teach you how to have sex. But a pre-marital chat on sex will take away a lot of anxiety that you feel. Here's what you can expect.

Men may advertise for virgin girls in their matrimonial ads, but when it comes to the bedroom, they expect you to be a seductress. Yeah, even on the first night. A contradiction, isn't it? As you will realise soon, marriages are a lot about finding balance within contradictions.

Pre-marital counselling:

Not very sought after in India even now, some psychological and clinical advice on sex can help save many a first night from being a passion pooper. Counselling teaches you that passion--an urgent product of desire--doesn't always develop on its own, it is often the hard-won fruit of intimate communication. Have you talked about your first night with your partner? If not, do so; it will help thaw a lot of apprehension. If possible, visit a counsellor and express all your reservations and queries.

The Honeymoon and The Hymen:

"Will I bleed?" "Will it be painful?" These are the most common questions, brides-to-be ask. Despite the fact that many of the urban couples these days have had some pre-marital sexual experience. And despite the fact that most of the educated people know that they hymen can rupture even due to strenuous sports, horse-riding etc, yet, the hymen remains a debatable issue with most couples, leading to much misunderstanding.

The answer to this is fairly simple. If your hymen is still unbroken, yes bleeding can occur (though it doesn't have to), and you may even experience a little pain the first time. But it doesn't last and is almost never anything serious.

Then there is the other area of general ignorance in connection with the hymen. In some cases, it does not even yield to sexual penetration, making intercourse an agonising encounter for the girl, and frustrating for the man. In such cases, the hymen has to be broken with a gynecologist's help. Sometimes a minor surgical procedure is required to make penetration possible, if there prevails a congenital malformation. But since very few couples know of this, it can make them distant and anxious in the initial days of marriage itself.

So whatever your personal experience, your strategy should be not to make a big deal about anything till you know what is causing the anxiety. Even men need to free themselves from the pressure to perform that can become a killing tension on the first night. If you make each other comfortable on the first night itself, good sex is sure to follow.

The Big O:

Since the female orgasm is not associated with ejaculation, many women (and men) develop crazy theories about it, often holding themselves responsible for anything that goes wrong. Chances are that a woman may not be able to achieve orgasm on the first night, because she has to first feel comfortable with her own body, with the intimacy that she develops with her groom, and it is a deep journey into personal uninhibition. It can't be rushed or dutifully fulfilled on the first night. So don't expect the earth or move or time to stand still on your wedding night. It is unrealistic for both of you.

Your libido, as Freud said, is the strongest thing about you. Treat it kindly. And it will stand by you.

Even if your husband is the understanding sort, with multiple expectations, vulnerability, redefinition of your personal space and all the things that marriage brings, the honeymoon can make you very jittery. Unless you are prepared for it.

Answer 2

On the first night just do a lot of talking and get to know each other of your interests. Familiarize yourself better. But if your husband desires to have sex must cooperate. Don't complain if the process of sex is not prolonged and ends up within seconds. This is quite natural on the first night. Be supportive to your husband. Sex life starts building up as the marriage gets older and older and the couple achieves maturity. Enjoy your night and don't complain about any thing.
After having sex you can continue the familiarisation exercise. I can bet it will be the most wonderful night of your life if you want to make one.
Remember if you had an affair earlier donot disclose unless your husband discloses his affair. This is dangerous.
GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY MARRIED LIFE.

Answer 3

It's normal to be nervous, I got married three months ago and felt nervous. With regards to your "first night" why don't you sit down and have a chat about it with each other and explain your fears, you should be able to talk about it if you are getting married. Also try and relax and just let things happen, if you worry about it too much you will end up not enjoying one of the most special days in your life.

Answer 4

First, accept my best wishes for your upcoming marriage ceremony. About first night with your husband, just remember that there is a first to everything - the first coherent word coming from your mouth, the first hesitant steps as you start to walk etc. First night, as you see it is your initiation into sex, if you aren't already into it and is nothing to get scared of. Importantly remember that just as you took some tumbles in your first effort at walking, first time sex may not be a smooth ride. It may be a little painful too, but it will be the sweetest pain of your life as you are initiated into total womanhood. After that, hopefully, every night will be something to look forward to.
And as for his happiness, both of you will have to mutually work to make that come true. If he just looks for his own selfish pleasure without bothering about your concerns, that wouldn't be true happiness for him. Same for you.

Answer 5

Don't care what other people say to you & listen to me. Just think about that night. Don't use other's experions. Let it be ur own & unique experions. If u learnt it from others, what would be of ur husband feeling. So take my advice & just think urself, about that night. Iam sure that it would be be a great experions for u if u dont learnt it. But if u understand what is it. then u miss the great begining injoyment. I dont know how will u take my advice but, if u go as I indicate u will than me after ur first night. Also if u will want to thank me u can messege me as unknowen friend. My email ID is [e-mail] , bye bye

Answer 6

That is a natural feeling. Just be yourself. I'm sure , even he is nervous about it. The fact is that you don't really plan for it, because it will happen depending on the move that he makes. Be a willing partner and be open to his overtures. Don't be overly shy. remember, the guy is your husband already. Do what you think will make him happy (better yet, ask him) and tell him what makes you happy too.

Answer 7

Openness and Communication is key but assuming that this will be you guy's first time together (that's what i got from the post), I really don't think you have much to be worried about. coming from a guy, this is going to be your guy's first time with his new bride. You are what he wants and just being with you is going be enough for him. He's probably just as concerned about pleasing you for the first time regardless of whether or not he is experienced or not. Just don't be scared to tell him what you like at ask him what he likes. No worries its going to be great.

Answer 8

Hearty Congrats on your marriage. Now, as a woman of experience, let me tell you this. First of all, don't be nervous! Coz, then your muscles are tight and penetration becomes difficult. Buy some sexy lingerie and good perfume. Talk to him b4 if possible and am sure, he would understand. You don't have to have sex as soon as you enter the room. Explore each other slowly, talk, share jokes. Get some KY Jelly as it helps. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Well me too. Getting married NOV-25th. Deepa frankly if you ask me, we guys are also scared about the first night because theres a famous saying "FIRST IMPRESSION IS THE LAST IMPRESSION". Who wants to make a bad impression.

Just relax - Talk less & Keep smiling.

May god bless you both.

Cheers

Answer 10

Be cool and composed.If both of you have a good understanding nothing good like it. Dont get jittery,because this night will be the foundation stone for rest of your life. I hope your partner will understand your feelings.and reciprocate the same way.Wish you both happy married life.