I am taking care of my 8 year old nephew and 2 year old niece through dhs. they have separate fathers and their mother lost her parental rights. I am on the verge of adopting my nephew and I would like to adopt my niece, her father's trying to get her back, I know he loves her and she needs her father, I wouldn't want him out of her life, but, we love her too. What's in the best interest of the child be considered, not just his parental rights, we are very attached to her and I know us taking care of her was temporary. But, my other worry is that her and her brother are very close and I don't want them to be separated, he already lost his mother and father and now he might lose his sister. I would like people's feedback on this matter.
2006-10-30 01:58:49 · 7 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is a tough one. I feel for you, you family, her father, and especially for the children.
I think the best thing to do have just the adults sit down with the father and talk about the reasons why each of you think they are better suited to provide for the little girl. Weigh out the pros and cons. (I have a feeling that the father might be willing to allow for visitation with the brother.)
If she were older I would say you should then have an unbiased observed explain to the girl what her two options are and ask which she prefers. But I don't think that will work in this case.
Ultimately, I think that the father's rights transcend your desires, no matter how sad it makes you personally. I think the court will agree as long as he is a positive influence in her life.
Lastly, if you handle this well, then the little girl will be happy and well adjusted. If you act like it's the biggest trauma in the world or try to turn her against her father, then she will be hurt too. What is best for her? Certainly not to have both sides of her family fighting in front of her. Please remember that, not matter what else transpires.
2006-10-30 02:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by jimvalentinojr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My concerns are with this child also, being a foster parent is one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. It is up to the court system on whether or not he will regain his custody, but even that is harder than you think. I just sent one of my foster kids home who has been IN the system for 99% of his life...he just turned 4. The courts are not very understanding and when they say jump, they mean jump...at least here. Good luck on this and in the end the decision will be in the best interest of the child. I don't know why mom lost her rights nor did you mention why dad maybe on the verg also...but fighting to get your own child back after it's been taken away is very difficult.
2006-10-30 02:06:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure the court will consider not seperating the children and of you have no tproblem the dad having visitation would be the key to you keeping her... what kind of record doesn't the dad have and the means to pay for day care while he works will be an issue... they won't want to take a child away from a good home and have him spend half his life in daycare... because on average men work 40 plus hours a week... I wish you luck and I feel he's better off with you and his sister,,,
2006-10-30 02:16:24 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'll just say this...my Mother took care of two of my cousins for three years after their Father gave up his parental rights and their Mother lost hers temporarily. Now, their Mom has finally started getting herself together and as much as it pained us to let them go back to her, it had to be done. Why? Because I believe every child wants their parents. And in that way, as long as their Mom is taking care of them, that was in their best interest. Plus, we still are in their lives, making sure their taken care of. Now, your case is different, but maybe you can work out something with the Father of your neice. He may be willing to allow you to be in her life.
2006-10-30 02:30:06 · answer #4 · answered by Barak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well is the father in a place to take care of her. because if he isnt you have nothing to worry about. And i dont think you are being selfish at all. Where was he before and why didnt he have her before.
2006-10-30 02:30:08 · answer #5 · answered by homie_j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some professional advice on this .
2006-10-30 02:15:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HONESTLY THINK THAT U ARE NOT BEING SELFISH.. DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT!!
2006-10-30 02:02:38 · answer #7 · answered by kittykatishere 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋