i really like this guy - and he likes me too - he has asked me out on a date - but i've heard from everyone who knows him (including my brother) that he is a cassanova. I also know that hehas a girlfriend (who he says he is breaking up with - yeah right). My only problem is that he is so sweet like all players are. I went on a date with him (before i knew about the girlfriend) and we got on so well (my explanation sounds lame even to me) but i really have a problem telling him. Help!!
2006-10-30 01:52:53 · 13 answers · asked by reeaita 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just tell him right off, if he has the guts to be a player then he can handle you telling him the reason you dont want to date him. I went through the same thing. I liked this guy (he was a player) I told him that if he wanted to go out with me that he couldnt be playing around with other girls bacause im too good for that, He agreed, we went out for 2 years (he was faithfull, believe it or not). We broke up for unrelated issues though. But he was sweet to me. You have to lay down the rules, and tell him that the first negative thing you find out about him (that he did while your together) its over (no exeptions). And tell him that he needs to break up with the ex. Dont feel sorry for him its your life. If he thinks its too much he will leave you alone (small price but worth it). Good luck and dont let no one lay down the rules for you.
2006-10-30 02:13:48 · answer #1 · answered by chinaz777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing offensive about saying that you are not interested in going on any more dates with him.
Offensive is when you say something to insult or distastefully criticize him. If you tell him that you don't want to go out with him because he is a man-wh*re, then this would be offensive.
You don't have to explain anything to him. Just say that you are not interested. And that will be the end of it. No offense. And no hard feelings.
Perhaps your problem is that you really like this guy. And that's why you have such a hard time saying 'no' to him.
2006-10-30 02:04:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're looking for a relationship with only one person, and it seems that you are, then just tell him that. Tell him you like him, and you get along well together, but in a boyfriend, you're looking for someone who will be exclusive, and you know he's not into that right now. Let him know you can still be friends and hang out now and then, but the boyfriend-girlfriend thing is out of the picture. Put that way, I doubt he'll be offended.
2006-10-30 01:57:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mary C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not a proper way to turn down a guy,whatever the way it will hurt.So just try to be sincere tell him that you like him but you don't wanna get hurt by a guy,who is not taking seriously your just beginning relationship.Don't try to lie,tell him the truth.That if he really wants you if he is sincere he has to proove it.And test him for almost 4 or 5 months.
2006-10-30 02:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by Stougnon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go right up to him and give him the good news..He really could care less if he is a player since he only wants what he can get from you without considering your feelings.
2006-10-30 01:57:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I don't recommend this, you could "play the player" by dating him then pulling your interest back. This type of teasing will drive him nuts (as most players love the attention, which is why they do what they do). By teasing him, you will not only have the upper hand, but you will be able to talk with him more seriously about things, as he will listen to you (since you're not fooled by his rhetoric.)
2006-10-30 01:58:18 · answer #6 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say to him that "I don't think we should be seeing each other while you have a gf. I do find uncomfortable, for her sake too."
Guys do appreciate it when girls respect highly of their selves.
If you go on easy with him, he will just have it all to himself, and he doesn't have to risk anything to be with you.
If he's really that into you, he should see that he must not be treating you like another girl he could hook up in few dates.
If he leaves, as he would, just be happy that you don't have to deal with a player any more.
2006-10-30 01:57:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's a player, why do you care about his feelings? Players don't care about anyone's feelings except their own. They are selfish and don't deserve your consideration. PLEASE don't tell me your one of those girls who's attracted to "bad boys" because you think your the one who could change him. That's a fantasy. I've said it before, grown people do exactly what they want to do. Once a player, always a player.
2006-10-30 02:02:25 · answer #8 · answered by Lynda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you didn't know he had a girlfriend and you don't trust him not to go out with other women if you started seeing him so you just would rather be friends.
2006-10-30 01:57:51 · answer #9 · answered by hearts_and_thoughts_2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't sugar coat anything with him. let him know what's up so he knows that he can't come at you with no bs. Put your foot down before you let yourself get caught up because you saying you want to turn him down but you like him and he could get you most likely let's not be dumb about the situation you know!
2006-10-30 01:57:11 · answer #10 · answered by WannaKnow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋