my fiance has 6 groomsmen, there is no questioning or changing that, I have 1 MOH, and have asked 2 BM's so far, I also want to ask my 3 cousins (ages 32-38), their daughters are very close to me, and they are at a weird age, 8 yrs. old, too old to be flower girls, so I was going to have them be junior BM's, but that becomes too many. Help!!!!!! Should I ask my three cousins to be BM's or have their daughters be junior BM's (there are 2 of them).
2006-10-30 01:49:30 · 10 answers · asked by lunastar002 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
So he's got 6 attendants. You have 3 so far, and want both your 3 cousins (which will make things equal) plus 2 nieces to be in your party as well.
You don't want to exclude your adult cousins in favor of the children. It might be taken as an insult to them, plus the girls won't be able to take on any responsibility by themselves. You would end up involving their mothers anyway. You have to consider all the things involved before the wedding day, like bridal shower, bachelorette party, gown shopping, and all the other tasks that having adult attendants do and help you with. While it's great that you want to include the girls, they won't be able to do much of anything before the big day. Think about all the work having 12 attendants will involve on top of all of your other duties. The women can help with the work, and the girls couldn't. You have three options to involve the girls as well as keeping your cousins.
1. (And this is what I reccomend) 8 really isn't too old to be flower girls. Typically flowers girls are under 12, so they are still young enough that it would be acceptable. They still make the dresses for that age, and not just in little girl styles. You could easily find a style that's suited for their age. You could even get a more mature style so the girls would feel all grown-up.
Examples:
http://www.boutique4kids.com/detail.asp?c=21&p=2004-0000208
http://www.boutique4kids.com/detail.asp?c=21&p=2005-0000056
http://flowergirldresses.boutique4kids.com/detail.asp?c=6&p=2004-0000205
2. There is no rule that says you have to have the same number of attendants on both sides. If you want 6 maids, and 2 junior maids, then there is nothing wrong with that. If you want the groomsmen to escort the maids, then two men would be walking with 2 females with one on each arm.
3. The third option is to give the girls something to do without having to be in the processional. There are many ways to include them with things like lighting candles, readings, and other specific duties. If you feel they are responsible enough, there are things like the gift table, guest book, or even being a personal attendant before the ceremony. The girls could get things for you and your other attendants, help with the getting ready process, and direct people on where to go before they are seated (gift table and guest book) so that his attendants don't have to worry about that.
2006-10-30 02:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wedding (which is in 20 days yeah) consists of this my 6 GM, her Matron of Honor, Maid of Honor and 4 BM (3 of which are her cousins and 1 my younger sister age 17) 4 junior maids/flower girls (flower girls, broom girl, "some other" girl, but they won't stay at the alter for the entire ceremony, all under 9) 2 ring bear type boys (under 6) and two teen age candle holders (a guy and a girl). I guess what I'm saying you can always have the younger people be a part without requiring them to stay at the alter as the "wedding party" (meaning the BM's and GM's) I really don't think anyone under like 13 should be Bm or GM but that's just my opinion.
2006-10-30 02:15:02 · answer #2 · answered by Almack 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I had three each, plus I had a junior bridesmaid in addition. I had her walk down the aisle alone before the flower girl. She was my little sister and she's 9 so she was (in my opinion) too old to be a flower girl, and my nice was just the right age, but I really wanted my sister in the wedding. I decided that the 9 yr old and the 6 yr old would be too much of a distraction playing with their hair or not standing still, so after they walked down the aisle they sat on the front row. Then they got up first when the ceremony was over and took their places again. I also didnt have a ring bearer and so it didnt look uneven on my side.
2006-10-30 02:42:04 · answer #3 · answered by rdnkchic2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't have to anyone in your wedding party you don't want, family or not. However you might also want to look at the bigger picture too. Your friends may come and go as the years go by but your sister will always be your sister and your dad will always be your dad. In my parents wedding party pictures, the only people I know in the picture are their siblings. The couple friends they had in their wedding I have never met. Having someone walk you down the aisle doesn't need to be a sign of "property", it can also be a show of gratitude towards that person. Dysfunctional or not your dad is a big reason you are the person you are today. Also be grateful you still have a choice for your dad to walk you down the aisle and the chance to better your relationship with him, not everyone does. At the end of the day the only way someone can "ruin" your wedding is if you end up not married. From my view, your sister isn't the only one with maturity issues....
2016-03-28 01:35:53 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Junion BM don't have to walk with a groomsmen. Ask the 3 cousins and their daughters and that way you only have to find one more bm.
2006-10-30 01:52:19 · answer #5 · answered by Kristen P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about giving the 8 year olds duties to help you out to feel important that day? Or put them in charge of the guest book and card basket? Or hand out the programs?
To be honest, I'd put the younger ones in the background and keep the adults at the altar. (And no, I don't hate kids, I just don't think they're old enough yet to appreciate the solemn occasion.)
2006-10-30 01:55:52 · answer #6 · answered by chefgrille 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The groom's and bridess wedding party numbers DO NOT HAVE TO MATCH! Nobody cares about that any more. Ask whomever you like to be your BM.
2006-10-30 21:24:51 · answer #7 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surely you don't need that many people to do those jobs else they will just end up getting in the way and you won't be able to enjoy your special day. You cannot please everyone so just keep things simple and manageable, this will also save you money.
2006-10-30 04:54:28 · answer #8 · answered by emmalp75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did your fiance just go ahead & ask his mates without consulting with you??- number of attendants should have been decided on BEFORE asking anyone.
all the other answers have covered anything else i would have said
2006-10-30 12:28:44 · answer #9 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eight year olds can be flower girls, there is nothing wrong with that at all.
2006-10-31 07:21:01 · answer #10 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋