please give your opinion?

Question

please give honest opinons and don't write me off cos i know i might sound jealous and petty. my boyfriend is moving in with his best female friend just him and her who he fancied when he first met her. she is renound for sleeping around and has no scruples for going after men in relationships in fact it gives her a buzz to do that. she isn't very pretty so it's not like i think she's a real threat cos she's a real stunner and he doesn't fancy her now and nothing has ever happened between them and they have been friends for 2 years. he knows i don't like her and don't like the way she behaves. don't get me wrong i have loads of close girlfriends and usually i'm a real girls girl.

basically can someone tell me i'm not being ridiculous cos he says i am but can he love me that much if he moves in with her when he knows it makes me feel prickly and is it understandable i feel jealous and weird about it cos whether it's right or wrong i just do!!!

elp!

thanks! basically she has a bloke she's seeing at the moment. this so isn't my way (and i'm not being a big headed prat but i am quite a lot prettier than her. she really just isn't) and this so isn't my way but shall i flirt with her boyfriend a bit just to get my point across that she puts a foot wrong then i'm not gonna be too nice to hold my own.

or just walk away from it all
agh! i dunno what to do.

thanks for all your answers xxxx

hi ilovemarmite. AM i being petty by saying she's not pretty tho. she's not. i don't trust her and i'm just thinking it thro practically, i'm not putting her down to make myself feel better. i don't actually feel competitive with girls..my best mate is stunning and i just think good for her whereas a lot of our mates get annoyed about it. i dunno if it IS about growing up either..

Answer 1

You need to sort out whether you enjoy being with someone who disregards your feelings.

Your best stance to take is that she doesn't matter, if he's so determined to move in with her. The more you see her as a threat, the more of a threat she will be. It also makes her look more appealing to him, as she is 'forbidden' in some way.

And, yes, it's very understandable that you feel weird and jealous. Many people would in your situation. He is being insensitive. She is untrustworthy. It's not a good mix for your peace of mind.

Answer 2

Honestly I would feel jealous too. Doesn't matter whether she's a threat or not. Doesn't matter if she's stunning or not. Doesn't matter if she's a friend or not. She's a WOMAN. Your man will be living with a woman. Men have needs. Unexpected things can happen in unexpected times. It's completely normal to feel uncomfortable with the idea of your bf moving in with another woman. BUT you have to ask yourself this question : "Can I trust him?" Talk to him. Tell him exactly how you feel!! He needs to know that you're not okay with the whole idea. If he is not understanding and still thinks you're being ridiculous then something might be going on here. But who am I to say? I don't even know your bf. So it's very important to know whether you can trust him or not. Communicate - it's very important. But be sensitive about what you say. You wouldnt wanna offend him and end up ruining the relationship. Good luck.

Answer 3

Oh pet!!! Just because a girl may not be as pretty as you does not make her less of a threat!! She may be more of a threat because if she senses your attitude, well, she's gonna take your boyfriend, You can't fight this. Either befriend her. Say although you and her have not been mates before, you hope this is a new start and you and she should get drunk and be pals. OR spend your life bein terrified that he will sh ag her. He may still but if you and her are mates he is more likely to stay faithful in case she tells you and not any other reason. Sorry!

Answer 4

HE'S BEING WAY OUT OF LINE!
Why the hell is he doing something as big as that regardless of the fact that you aren't comfortable with it?????
Personally I wouldn't stand for it.

Firstly, I don't understand male/female friendships I don't believe they are ever genuinely un-sexually related especially if there has ever been any lusting or fancying between either of them.

I think him moving in with her could seriously jepordise your relationship, even if nothing happens between them not only has he diregarded your feelings but it will make you paranoid!

Blokes that say you are being neurotic are idiots, it is an excuse to switch the spotlight and make us feel bad!

I would go with what you are feeling and seriously talk to him! If you and your relationship means anything to him he will listen and change the situation, if not, he obviously isn't the man you thought he was.

Answer 5

OK
why not ask him to move in with you, or better still ask him to get a place of his own and you move in with him, if this girl is what you say she is then there's a chance that your fella may submit to her, behind closed doors and all that... just let him move in and make sure you are there most of the time, preferably night time help him move in, but warn him that if there's any funny business going on then he's history, warn her too, tell her your onto her and know what she's like, failing that, don't let her see that your bothered but tell him that if he strays then he can go his own way and you find yourself another nice fella

Answer 6

I don't know why your bf is moving in with an ex-gf, but i assume it was an "easy", casual arrangement to save money etc., but it shows that your bf is a little too easy-going and lazy if he can't find a decent place of his own, without just shacking up with an ex.

It's a bit like a husband sharing a flat with his ex-wife for "convenience" - they may just be great mates & nothing might happen, but it shows great insensitivity to you.

Of course, it could be worse - he might find a flat to share with a woman he then really fancies, which could be worse...

You might tell your bf that you are upset. See what happens. See if he can be sensitive to your needs or not.
.

Answer 7

Well it's OK to feel a little weird about it, but you've got to trust him, I mean you also have to be practical, do you have any ideas like Where should he live instead??? I mean he has nowhere to go and you're worried about him sleeping with his friend. Anyway if the girl he's moving in with is known for that she probably doesn't want your boyfriend or else she would've slept with him already... Talk to him about it, but I think you're just going to deal with the situation by accepting it you have to learn how to trust in your relationship.

Answer 8

Surely this shows he values her friendship higher than your relationship? Don't get me wrong, friends will always be there when relationships fail and all that but there's such a thing as respect in relationships and it doesn't sound like he's respecting your feelings. I have a male best friend and when we first met he fancied me but now there's nothing and if my boyfriend didn't like him i wouldn't move in with him, simple as that! I'd just try to at least get them to not hate each other!

Answer 9

No you're not being ridiculous you are meerly experiencing trust issues with your boyfriend.This will be a good test of your relationship so you should let them move in together and see what happens.If it is true love then he will be faithful and you will feel mmore relaxed with him being around the opposite sex if the unthinkable does happen then you know he wasn'nt for you and you can move onIf you try and stop him moving in with her you could push him further away.Good luck whatever you do

Answer 10

You're not being rediculous, i don't know if i could even be with someone living alone with a person that sleeps around.. i call it a sIut but..whatever, call it whatever you want lol.. You're strong to still be with him and even more to trust him, although i would have a hard time doing so.