Its, been 5 long years, and we have an 12 month old son, just the other day before i was dumped, he told me how much he love me and would marry me if i got pregnat agzin, and that he would never leave me...now the next day its, its not going to work its over, get out, i have 2 other kids also. What to do. Im so screwed up right now, i dont know what to do? Help i need an easy button..i triped for a minute now im playing calm..i could kill him, but im not.
2006-10-30 01:28:56 · 25 answers · asked by CHEEETERS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
GIRL HE DUMPED YOU FIVE TIMES ALREADY... PUTTING THE KIDS ASIDE AND THAT THEY ONLY NEED YOU RIGHT NOW TO BE SANE FOR THEM AND LOVE THEM.. PUT THINGS IN ORDER IN YOUR LIFE.. FIRST THE KIDS AND NOW THIS THING.. THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE THIS FINAL IS FOR YOU TO DUMP HIM ONCE AND FOR ALL... ONCE YOU GET HIM OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM EVERYTHING ELSE IN YOUR LIFE IS GOING TO FALL IN ITS RIGHT PLACE,THE REASON YOU ARE FELLING SO BAD IS BECAUSE HE IS MAKING IT THIS BAD... IS BETTER TO BE ALONE,THAN WITH BAD COMPANY..AND YOU HAVE THE BEST COMPANY RIGHT NOW NEXT TO YOU AND DONT EVEN SEE IT.. YOUR KIDS.. THEY SHOULD BE YOUR FOCUS POINT.. FOR THEM YOU WILL MAKE IT AND BE STRONG.. NO MAN IS WORTH YOUR CHILDREN HAPPINESS...NO MAN IS WORTH YOUR MISERY... YOU ARE NOT SCREWED UP AND YES YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO... GET RID OF HIM AND SHOW HIM YOU ARE NOT AS UNSTABLE AS HE IS TO GET RID OF YOU HE IS DOING IT HERE AND THERE A BIT AT A TIME... AND EVEN IF IT TAKES HIM A LIFE TIME AT THE END HE WILL DO IT.. IT COULD TAKE YOU FIVE SECONDS TO TELL HIM GO TO HELL AND STAY THERE...AND I PROMISE ONCE YOU MAKE THAT CHOICE.. YOU WILL BE STRONG HAPPIER AND DOWN TO EARTH SATISFY WITH YOUR LIFE.. DUMP HIM DO NOT GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION OF DUMPING YOU... YOU ARE A MOTHER AND THAT MAKES YOU STRONGER THAN HIM... GOOD LUCK.
2006-10-30 02:43:23 · answer #1 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So... I guess him telling you to get out that means it's his house... and by you saying how can you make it final ...tellls me you are done... the next thing is to locate a place for you and your kids to go... then pack up and move... go and file for child support on the son you have with him and just get on with your life without him...
People that like to dump others repeatedly and yet don't follow through... get off on the control and maybe the begging that comes from the other person... it's a big ego builder from him... he won't stop doing it... if you stay... I guarantee he'll do it again... I know I'm telling you things you already know... but I know hearing it from someone else helps... so here it is...
I wish you luck!!!!
2006-10-30 09:47:01 · answer #2 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK, THAT IS THE BEST WAY NOT TO GET DUMPED AGAIN. DO NOT GO OFF BIRTHCONTROL. He thinks he has you over a barrel and he is playing a very cruel game. He, if you are lucky, will grow tire of wiping his feet on you and go on to another woman he can play this cruel game with. You have children, you have a duty to them to make sure that they have the best lives possible. They cannot have a good secure life if the father figure in their lives keeps kicking their mother out. Take him to court for child support for his son, get child support from the father of your other children. Get yourself in counseling and school so that you can support your children. Your children, both the boys and girls are learning from you, how a man is suppose to treat women. Do you want your son to grow up to treat a woman the way his father is treating you.? If you wont stop crawling for yourself, be a good mother and stop crawling for your children's sake.
2006-10-30 09:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by bettyswestbrook 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go back to him. Not ever. He's inconsistent and selfish. There's no way a man like that can love anyone, except maybe himself. Having no man in your life at all would be better than having one like that. You and your children deserve better.
So, no matter how he tells you he loves you, that he's sorry, or whatever sorry cr*p he comes up with, don't go back to him. Tell him that he blew it big time and to save his tears and whining for the next woman who comes along. (Oh, yeah, another thing: make sure he pays child support for the kids you have together. By law, he's required to.)
Good luck to you and your children. I hope you all get through this painful time in your lives. And I hope that eventually you find a man who is worthy of your love and the love of your children. (Not that you need a man to survive, mind you. But a loving partner is always a good thing to have.)
2006-10-30 09:39:24 · answer #4 · answered by Avie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he is going threw a midlife crises. If he has done this to you more than once I wouldn't put up with it. He is either serious or not serious.
I know it is hard when children is involved; however you need to think of the kids. You don't want to get pregnant to keep him. He will end up telling you the same thing even though he has said he will marry you. If he cant handle it now..then he isn't going to handle it when your pregnant again.
Is there abuse? Do you want to put up with this in and out deal he has going on of his own? Time to put your foot down and seek help. Ask him to leave if it is possible. There is housing out there to help you along with Department of Health and Human Resources. There is away to live with out having to deal with the drama he is giving you.
There is a program now that babysits for you if you go to work or school as well.
I would go on with your life and let him off to decide what he really wants. Try not to sweat it. It is hard, but there is help out there.
I was married for 13 years and one day my husband left me. I had two young sons and was on my own. Never had to manage a family on my own, but here I am six years later. I struggled..worked, then enrolled in college with help of grants and I am still making it work. I dated on and off, and now with someone who really cares for me.
2006-10-30 09:42:06 · answer #5 · answered by Dawn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you make it final is not to take him back. File for child support (from all the kids fathers). Be alone for a while until you figure out what you want in life. Don't let your children see you going from man to man (sets a bad example). Also don't have any more children until you get married, and don't even let your children met the man in your life until he propose marriage (that way they won't get attached to false father figures).
2006-10-30 09:38:34 · answer #6 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar relationship with my girlfriend.. through out our relationship we've broken up about 14 times total.. Now that's crazy.. It really is hard when there is a kid involved.. It's sad for the kids to go through things like this with you.... All I can say is things will get better, you can't give up on yourself, and for the guy, well he's just plain stupid... Just let him be, if he wants to be childish let him..
2006-10-30 09:35:00 · answer #7 · answered by crazgrss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu're right. YOu are screwed up. First, stop having all these kids out of wedlock. YOu are not doing them any favors. It's time to take responsibility for your own life. Your children are depending on you. Get it together!!!
2006-10-30 09:32:40 · answer #8 · answered by sheeny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you financially independent? I would suggest you talk this over with your man and let him know your situation if you are not financially independent. I know it's hard to not be able to leave your man, but if he has broken up wiht you 5 times, he's going to make you life miserable! So, dump him and find another men
2006-10-30 09:31:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to hit the road. Stop letting him come in and out of your life like it has a revolving door. Tell him that your are tired of his games, and when he tries to come back shut the door and walk away from him. If you don't let him in you don't have to watch him leave.
2006-10-30 09:33:48 · answer #10 · answered by Tammy G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋