An associate of mine claims to not be racist but is upset because his daughter is dating a black man. When I ask him why, he doesn't give a legit answer. i.e. "we should all stay with our race but that doesn't make me a racist."
Maybe so, maybe not...
What do you think?
2006-10-30 00:57:22 · 14 answers · asked by SUPERMAN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When my mom found out that i was dating a black man .. she claimed not to be racist .. and she said along the same lines as what you said your associate said to you.
My mother keeps looking for someone to blame that i decided on my own to date outside my own race. That somehow its her own fault .. because its such a bad thing. And she just looked at me the other day and said ," I guess when it comes down to it i taught you not to see race and you didn't so this is all just my own fault. I just thought you'd have enough common seance about yourself to see that its wrong. SO i guess that yes i am a racist in a way."
For his daughters sake talk to him. Try and get him to see that he raised her the right way to look past the things that don't matter like race and see a person for who they really are. When he realizes that things will be much better.
Because i dont want anyone to have to go thur what i do with hiding and sneaking just to be with a man
2006-10-30 04:52:04 · answer #1 · answered by They call me snowflake <33 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is absolutely racist. If his future son-in-law is responsible, trustworthy, a decent man and loves and respects his daughter, then the only reason he isn't acceptable is because of his race. You should ask him if it would be better if his daughter married an unemployed, cheating, abusive white man. His primary thought should be whether or not she's being treated well and is happy. Tell him, it's not a matter of black or white, but about who stepped up to the plate and delivered for his daughter.
I have been married to my white husband for six years. Our love for each other is so apparent that strangers have stopped us in the street to compliment us. It's not black and white they see, it's true love and affection. I'm not talking about being physical in public, I'm talking about connection we have that people see.
Years before I met my husband, I dated primarily black men and one white man. When I told my dad about him, he said "As long as you are happy, that's all that matters to me. There will be some out there that don't feel the same way, and I want you to be careful. But I trust you and support you." That's what this clown should be telling his daughter.
2006-10-30 09:14:24 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when you think of the problems associated with interacial marriages you hold back from going into one or supporting one. I heard of a man who got married to his wife at Haiti and then moved to new york. the wife became sad and missed the closed family setting of her people so the husband moved back to Haiti. after some years the husband also yearned for the busy life of the city. Now both of them love themselves very much but the husband cld not cope with the constant visits from relatives and the wife could not cope with staying alone most of the time by herself.
I'm no racist but such things can create problems so a couple would ask themselves and giv sincere answers to whether they wld be able to cope with whatever difficulties they might encounter in interacial marriages. if they can cope or balance their cultures then its for them to decide and not anyone else.
p.s. Even with same color, tribe etc marriages there are still problems but how each couple will cope depends on their maturity and being self sacrificing, putting the interest of the other before theirs
2006-10-30 09:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by girlfunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... I'd say that his daughter IS staying with her own race... the "human" race... Duh??? How difficult is that to comprehend?
I wonder what this mans ethnic background is? Most "light skinned" or "white" ppl are from many light skinned European backgrounds...
That would definately make them "mixed race/ethnic" if I'm not mistaken....
I just think your friend needs to educate himself on the realities of WHY groups of ppl have the different physical characteristics than others. They are actually all for purpose of adaption and survival in our environment.
Back in "the day" before there were opportunities for such easy travel, our ancestors lived in areas of the world and our physical characteristics evolved to adapt to our environment.. (ie; darker skin, more melonin pigment to protect our bodies from the sun, Europeans....from a colder climate.....Longer nose to warm the air prior to it getting to the lungs...etc... etc..)
Everyone adapted to their environment and evolved appropriately... No one flew to another part of the world and found a spouse, therefore we (as a human race) would find our partners within our own community and pass on our genetics.
I mean, this is just a simple, quick example of WHY we have physical differences but we are all the same RACE.... Good Grief....
I wouldn't say this guy is a racist.... I would say that he's simply uneducated.
IMHO.... He needs to support a relationship that his daughter is engaged in if this guy is a guy with good character, loves his daughter and she is happy with him. :o)
2006-10-30 09:15:15 · answer #4 · answered by ~Me~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is definitely racist. In his eyes as long as it's not in his family he is okay with it. But, he doesn't want to bring it home. I have been in a interracial marriage for 17 years so I know from experience people who act like they approve but really don't
2006-10-30 09:29:47 · answer #5 · answered by julieg_68 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my personal opinion, he's not being racist, he's juz being traditional.... u can't blame him though.. the mind ppl of his generation sometimes is juz like a one-way street... they may not haf any grudges or hatred or watever u called it towards the other race, but they certainly will not be please when someone dear to them is getting acquaintanted with the opposite race.. But along the way, their mind will be open up.. As a friend, you got to help him along with it.. Make him understand that it's OK to be with someone of a different race and stuff like tat...
2006-10-30 09:02:55 · answer #6 · answered by SyaKiRa 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he is being racist --- its ok for everyone else but not my daughter!!!
unless of course its about the guy character in that case no he is not
no not a fence sitter not enough facts to make a decision
2006-10-30 09:08:42 · answer #7 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if he doesn't want someone from another race dating his daughter, it could be racist, or maybe he's relating it to some bad experineces with that race... the world was a different place when he was growing up, ya know.
2006-10-30 09:03:33 · answer #8 · answered by ooh baby 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
only God knows his heart and his true beleifes,,but if ur american ya probably mixed up somewhere anyway..compare the shade of black in america to the shade of black in africa,,,ya knows there is white some where in the back ground,,not too many americans can say they are 100% any thing
2006-10-30 09:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by native,pride 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course it makes him a racist...if he wasn't, why would he care?
2006-10-30 09:04:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋