My fiance proposed to me back in March this year and since then he refuses to talk about getting married. I didn't pressure him into proposing, he just did it before we moved from Australia to London.
Now I bring up wedding dates etc and he always says "I dont want to talk about it". When we return to Australia he wants to get a job, buy a house, etc etc but no where on his plans is there a wedding.
I just wonder, why propose (with a gorgeous expensive ring too - so it's not like it was a last minute thought) if you don't want to get married.
Thoughts?
Cheers!!!
2006-10-30 00:55:15 · 29 answers · asked by Miss K 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
We have been together for 6 1/2 years.
We had already planned/paid/booked for UK so it wasn't to make me come with him!
2006-10-30 01:04:09 · update #1
Oh and thanks 'phillip b' - real help u jerk!
2006-10-30 01:04:41 · update #2
I was in the same type of situation last year and the year before that and so on, My Husband was the same way back in the days, we were in a relationship for like 6 going on 7 years being engaged like the last four or five years, he had all these great reasons why we couldn't go on with the marriage, he has two small daughters and he wanted us to live together first, Now I am not all that old fashion but, I didn't think it was a good idea for us to be "living together" without being married around these two little girls because I didn't want them to think it's okay to just live with a guy without being married, that's not a good thing to show children ever, but anyway this is what I did,
I put my foot down, I said fine we will move in together sign a one year lease for the apartement, and as soon as the lease was up so was this arrangement, eirther we get married the following year or we just walk away from each other, just that simple If I live with him for one year and we make it then we have to get married, the lease was up Jan 2006 and we were married April 2006, I don't think he do not want to marry you but, it's a very big step for a man to get married and they need a little help in that direction sometimes that is all, maybe you need to talk with his parents and you know set up dinner for you him, and you alls parents together and just bring it up or something.
You also need to explain to him that this is very important to you and you need him to listen if he do not want to talk but he needs to hear you, tell him that you need to set a date, and see what happens, most of the time, they (the guys) do come around and see it our (the gals) way I hope this helps more than hurts............................GOOD LUCK....................
2006-10-30 01:41:14 · answer #1 · answered by Lil Angel 68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it will take another 6 or so years to get up the courage to plan the wedding. ? I think that since he gets the milk for free...why buy the cow? I am not trying to be ugly but if your already living with him...he is just "ok" with that. That is the way guys are. You can't just give them stuff and not have a backup plan. You need to just tell him a date and go with it. Don't back down. If he doesn't agree.....suck it up and leave. Make him realize you are more than a shack-up. He will either open his eyes or you will be moving on. Do you honestly want a guy that can't make a real commitment? God Bless you and take care
2006-10-30 02:02:19 · answer #2 · answered by T&E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry to much about it. My fiance proposed to me in January this year. And he never wanted to talk about wedding plans at all. Give him a bit of time. He will come around sooner or later. (but not to late,don't let that happen). Its a big giant leap for a guy to pluck up the courage to ask there g/f to marry them, so he might just be getting use to that though first. I was just as frustrated as u are, but know he has decided upon him self to discuss wedding plans. So hang in there awhile, if he truly wants to get married, he will eventually feel comfortable enough to discuss wedding plans with you. When r sissies when it comes to marriage.
Good luck & Congradulations
And if he proposed with such a stunner of a ring, its got to mean sum thing
2006-10-30 01:13:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years we have been engaged for 4 of those years and he will not marry me I have tried everything from refusing to wear my engagement ring because its doesn't mean anything to practically begging and still the answer is no, we live together and we are even trying for a baby but he still will not marry me and I still haven't really found out the real reason to be honest he just says its a waste of money. It just doesn't make any sense. The only thing I can think of is he just scared and in some way it means they have grown up, sorry I cant be more helpful I just wanted to moan to you.
2006-10-30 01:18:30 · answer #4 · answered by bez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in transition between two places and he is stressed with moving, getting a new job etc. so it's bad timing to tal about wedding plans right now.
I suggest for you to wait until you are back in Australia and when you guys get settled, get the home and the job, after that then you will have the time and peace of mind to get into another project.
If he propsed and gave you a fancy ring, is because he meant it and is going to happen.
You can ask him that all you want to do is to set the date.
Congrats and good luck
2006-10-30 02:48:29 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he just wants to let everyone know that you are his 'possession' by putting a ring there but he doesnt want the commitment of marriage. Or it may be that he wants a long engagement but cant find a way of telling you that. Either way I think you should try and force the issue with him and find out why he proposed in the first place & if he still refuses to talk give him back the ring and ask him to give it back to you when he wants to marry you.
All the baest of luck with this.
2006-10-30 01:26:06 · answer #6 · answered by PaulineB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he does want to get married, but he has other priorities in mind. You mentioned he wants to get a job, house etc. but hasn't mentioned marrriage. I would advise you to be a bit more patient - after all, you've been together 6 and a half years, a little longer isn't going to make much difference. He might just want to have everything set up back in Australia before taking that step. Try not to pressure him too much, as long as his future plans include you (which they certainly seem to), I don't think you have any cause to be worried.
2006-10-30 01:10:46 · answer #7 · answered by Bel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Im thinking maybe he wants to enjoy being engaged for a while and maybe there are some things he wants to accomplish before he wants to set a wedding date. Maybe he has a lot on his mind and the last thing he wants to talk about is a wedding. Give him some space and time about the wedding. He wouldnt propose to you for nothing and of course he expects to marry you or else he wouldnt have proposed toyou.
2006-10-30 01:15:56 · answer #8 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He proposed because he loves you!!! Maybe he just doesn't want to be bothered with the details. Its your wedding and he did propose so if you don't mind.... start planning it yourself. Let him know you picked a date. Let him know your going to start with the planning. Start to take charge of this, if you want to marry him and go forward, he will get on track. He probably just wants to be in charge of it. I think since your engaged and living together you might as well get married. Let your fiance know that you want to do this, and let him know that if he wants to have any say in it he can, but if not you will go forward with planning your guys wedding. Congrats and good luck.
2006-10-30 03:27:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's mind is not yet set for it. have you tried asking about his finances? maybe he is not yet financially ready.. if he has bought you an expensive ring, he might have spent a fortune with it and now he is broke and, he is saving again for your marriage plans. sometimes, ladies should learn how to ask their boyfriends and husbands what's wrong and not arriving into a conclusion with the basis of only a hunch. don't pressure the guy, if he still doesn't want to...... but if you do suspect something fishy, better investigate. there is a possibility that he is distracted by somebody else?
2006-10-30 01:10:35 · answer #10 · answered by brixter13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋