you know u like little johnny and his jokes!!!!?

Question

"Class dismissed!" the teacher yelled but little Johnny doesn't go.
He walks to the teachers desk and says, "Teacher can i go home with you?"
The teacher says "No!"
Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy."
So the teacher says, "Okay."
They get to the teachers house and she says, "Well i'm going to take a quick shower, you sit right here."
"Can i take a shower with you?" he asks.
The teacher says "No!"
Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy."
So the teacher says, "Well okay, I guess."
So their in the shower and little Johnny says, "Can i turn off the lights?"
The teacher says "No!"
Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy."
So the teacher says, "Okay."
So the lights are off and little Johnny says, "Can i stick my finger in your belly button?"
The teacher says "No!"
Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy."
"Well okay." says the teacher, "JOHNNY!, that's not my belly-button!"
"Yeah? and that's not my finger either!"
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2) Little Johnny was talking a walk down the street when he found something on the road. He was not sure what it was and was playing with it when this man came running towards him out of breath.
"Hey kid that is mine. Can I have it back please?" the man said
Little Johnny said, "Well i found it first."
The man was getting mad becuse it was a condom and he needed it, then he remembers he has a loney in his pocket and says, "hey little boy i will give you this loney if i can have that.. er.. donnut."
Little Johnny is pleased with the deal and the next thing you know he's back home with a really big smile on his face.
Little johnny's mom noticed this and said, "Why are you so happy then?"
Little Johnny replied, "Because this man on the street gave me this loney for this donnut I had, but what he doesn't know is I licked all the jelly out first."

3) The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love," the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With you," he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber."
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4) Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day.
The first one says, "My Daddy is so cool he can eat four Burgers at one meal."
The second one says, "That's nothing. My Daddy can eat six."
Little Jonny starts laughing and says, "My Daddy can eat light bulbs."
The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. They ask him why he thinks His daddy can eat light bulbs.
Little Jonny replies, "Last night I was passing my parents room and my Daddy said, 'Honey, turn out that light I want to eat that thing.'"
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5) Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:
"One and one, the son-of-a-***** is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-***** is four."
"Three and three... "
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him. His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework.
The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny's mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class. The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said what he did.
Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two."
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6) A new teacher was giving an assignment to her class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the male students.
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student.
She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"
"Well teacher, I just saw both of your garters."
Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three weeks."
Embarrassed, she drops the eraser when she turns around, so she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an all out belly laugh from another male student.

She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.
"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over."
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Answer 1

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

those were frikken hilarious


thanks for making my day a whole lot better

Answer 2

A little boy was upset with his parents' financial situation, so he decided to write God a letter


Dear God,
My mommy and daddy need $500 for bills and I don't know who else to ask. Could You please help?

Johnny

The letter was received by the local post office and put in the "dead" letters pile. The clerk, being curious of the letter addressed to God, opened to see what it said. As you can imagine, he was touched by the letter and decided to help. He asked all his fellow workers to "chip-in" a few dollars to help a family in need. When all the money was collected, it came to $300. The clerk sent a money order in an official Post Office envelope with the return address simply God.

Several weeks later the same clerk found another letter addressed to God in the same writing. The letter said


Dear God,
Thank you for the $300, but next time don't use the Post Office, they have a $200 service charge.

Answer 3

HAHAHAHA I just like the Jonas one very so much LOL at "she's useless" and the final one is VERY CUTE! STAR EDIT: LOL HAHAHAHA ROFLMAO AT the upload on by way of the poster above! WAY TOO FUNNY i love the way in which you feel! hAHAHA

Answer 4

WOW you must have a lot of time on your hands....get a real job!!!!!

Answer 5

wow!!!! very funny...i want to meet this little Johny!!! lol

Answer 6

EWWWWWWWWWWWW, but soooooooooo funny. :O)

Answer 7

lol that def made me laugh! :-) thanks