Ok so I'm in love with a girl - 2nd time it's happenned to me in my lifetime. I'm 27 and she's 29.
I'm usually a very together person, self-confident, independent, I take what i want.
But now I find I'm becoming a pu ssy. This love thing is turning me into jelly, I'm getting all emotional, even crying at times, basically not being the confident person I usually am, and don't like myself becoming like this. I keep missing her, feeling strong emotions, wanting to see her, not being able to think of anything else. But I want to stay in control, I wanna keep the upper hand, stay the man in the relationship. I'm starting to doubt myself and my strength. I also wonder if she'll start losing respect for me because of how I'm changing.
So what should I do?
2006-10-30 00:09:00 · 13 answers · asked by needsadviceonlove 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First off, you are right, she will lose respect for you. So you need to get a handle on this right away.
The problem is, as this is your second relationship, you are holding onto it too much. You cry and miss her because you don't want this to go away. It's understandable, but your reaction is what will kill it.
The first thing you need to do is spend a few specific nights without her. I'm guessing you're around her all the time. This is dangerous. Instead, go get the guys together for some beers, or whatever it is you like to do. You need to train yourself to not think of your relationship with her as the only thing in your life.
Also, doing this will show her that you have your own life as well. That's something that builds respect. She will not think, "how dare he spend all this time away from me."
The next thing you need to do is convince yourself that you deserve this relationship. When anyone reacts this way, my first thought is that they don't feel worthy. Ever gotten a gift from someone you thought was too expensive or too much trouble to get? It makes you feel worse than it does good. If you feel like you deserve to be happy with her, you won't take it so seriously.
Regain your confidence by realizing this whole thing is something you're allowed to have. Good luck!
2006-10-30 00:16:50 · answer #1 · answered by Ciaoenrico 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't sound like love...sounds like infatuation or a crush...love doesn't take a self confident person and turn them into a wussy....
Take a look at why you feel as you do, and work on getting back the confidence and self assuredness...being sensitve is great, women tend to like guys that show their emotions (to some degree) but yeah, she may find she digs you less because you've changed into someone other than the person she orignally fell for...
Find yourself again...losing yourself in a relationship is not a sign of a healthy relationship...
2006-10-30 08:20:26 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you said...try and keep it together. Do NOT under any circumstance allow her to see you get all clingy, emotional, and needy. She will lose respect for you. My girlfriend of 3 years has only see me cry once, and that was at my grandmothers funeral. Even though it was only one or two tears. That kind of crying women find endearing...just to start balling over nothing...they do not. Basically I would advise you to occupy the time you are not with her by doing things that you enjoy and simply not think about her. If that don't work...start a fight with her...or just wait cause sooner or later she is going to say / do something that will piss you off. That should help with your problem.
2006-10-30 08:15:08 · answer #3 · answered by Emporer_Smiley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really. I think that some therapy would help. Its ok to go as a guy. I seen that someone said you shouldnt change. As a girlfriend of a very manly man who loves sports and has most control in the relationship. It doesnt bother me for my boy to go with the guys or play sports or watch them. Hunting doesnt bother me either. I love having the protector, my rock. If he were to go soft on me i would probably re-think our relationship. Some women just have a power trip. I like having the security to know i am always safe and able to cry in his arms not the other way around. I hope my relationship helps you but i think that therapy is really a good option. Its very common. I go and so does my bf. He hates it but i make him do that, it keeps us close cuz then he can express his feelings with being a "*****".
2006-10-30 08:13:42 · answer #4 · answered by miss_meg23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i can tell you is to go with your heart, most likely she wont think any less of you because of how you are changing because your in love. you can keep the "upper hand" even if u think u are losing your strength by not letting her walk all over you. but just because your in love dont mean anything is wrong with you.
2006-10-30 08:18:49 · answer #5 · answered by Kelsie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is about compromise and letting go...not maintaining control. Let go and live a little.....enjoy this time in your life. There is no feeling in the world that could ever compare.
2006-10-30 08:20:33 · answer #6 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry... just go ahead and **** the *****.remember that all these relationship is to have joy in your life ,not to make stress for yourself.so go and fu ck the pu ssy and try just to have joy.enjoy having her and dont think to anything else.
2006-10-30 08:56:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
return to being the man you are, because If she's not a lesbian, I'm sure she doesn't need another pus sy
2006-10-30 08:13:41 · answer #8 · answered by potato 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if its only for her that's ok
but if you feel like this to other thinks you better get back you self confident
2006-10-30 08:19:33 · answer #9 · answered by salsa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank god she has you. Don't change anything...this is how it is supposed to be. Most guys feel how you are right now "Oh, I can't be acting like this." That is stupid. You are just putting your guard down and showing your feelings. Its called being a human.
2006-10-30 08:13:32 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋