im only 18. i got chatmate who is a phil-tai. he seems to be good. he is stable and he is finding a filipina whom he wants to marry. his mom is a filipina thats why she also wants him to marry a filipina.then he found me. he is coming here to visit his place and also me. he said he loves me and he'll do everything. i said i can't go with him because im still studying and i have to work for my family living because im the only one who left in the family whom is not married so i should be the one to take cake of my parents. he said he'll help me fulfill all my obligations and responsibilities to my family. what shall i do? do i have to believe him and go with him? but i dont have any idea what kind of life is there in his country. i'm afraid to fail. help me, what should i do then?
2006-10-29 23:47:28 · 25 answers · asked by ems 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
meet him, but don't let him pressure you....if he is sincere, he will wait until you have finished your studies, but don't feel like this is something you must do or else you will lose him, if you lose him because you are not ready then it was never meant to be in the first place.
2006-10-29 23:53:17 · answer #1 · answered by ne_patriots2005 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't even think about going ANY PLACE with him until after you meet him.. You may not be able to stand him! Meet him and see what happens. If you feel like you are being pressured into something, then this isn't the man for you. As far as caring for your family, your siblings will be willing to help, so don't give up your life to care for your family. Is he marrying a Filipina to placate his mother or is he looking for a mother to marry?
2006-10-30 07:58:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello! Am sorry that you are having this dilemma. I really think you should definitely not go with him. You say "he seems to be good". You never know for sure. I don't honestly think one can judge whether someone loves someone by chatting. There is no way to evaluate for us whether he loves you or not. I think he could just have said that, not because you do not seem like a very nice person, but because there are people who would take advantage of everyone. Also, the culture differences might be quite strong. Would definitely and from the heart say "NO, please, do not go with him". Think he is also blackmailing you in saying he is coming down to see you. How long have you known this guy? Please consider everything... you are still very young and everything depends as well whether you love someone and how safe it is as you have never met in real life. Please take care!
2006-10-30 07:55:51 · answer #3 · answered by smashinglin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he in a rush anyway?I know of an american guy who has gone to the philippines twice already in a span of 5 years, getting to know his girlfriend and her family.
Chatting is okay but it doesn't really let you know the person which is very important before you jump into a serious relationship.Besides, you're only 18.Get to know him first, suggest it to him.Give your parents a chance to know this guy first too.
Then when you're sure and you get married, he will be the one helping you adjust to that new place.That's better than getting married now and adjusting to an unknown husband the same time as an unknown place, isn't it?
2006-10-30 07:56:10 · answer #4 · answered by ivy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SLOW DOWN how long have you known this guy, and he is wanting to take you away after just meeting you, I think you should let him know how you feel before he gets all worked, and travels all this way to see you, just to find out you have some doubts. And if you dont know about that country he is in, get on the web and check it out, it may give you an idea of what it is like there. GOOD LUCK
2006-10-30 07:53:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, ikaw ang dapat tumupad sa mga pangarap mo para sa pamilya mo! Hindi sya o kung sino man. Love takes time. It is fate, destiny, whatever you may call it... But it's never instant. You have to know the guy more...it could turn out that he is not the man of your dreams and you will regret it int he end. Magtapos ka muna at abutin ang mga pangarap mo. It's more fulfilling to share a life you've worked hard to attain with a person who truly loves and respects you. Kung talagang mahal ka nya maiintindihan nya at MAKAPAGHIHINTAY SYA. Because love believes all things, bears all things, and hopes all things. Goodluck poh!= )
2006-10-30 07:57:54 · answer #6 · answered by Smile2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, how long you`d been known him? Is that first time to see him?
Is not only what kind of life you will have about him?
The question is what will happen next after what you are expecting?
If he really loves you he will not ask anything in return despite
what he can give or do for you?
try to do this: ( but it`s up to you? )
spent with him for one night & if he ask you to do something like sex & you did not forgive him... observe him on the following day.
You will know the answer...
Believe me... kaibigan...
2006-10-30 08:10:56 · answer #7 · answered by Hidden 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go with him. You will regret giving up your education later. There will be plenty of other men in the future for you to choose from, and you will feel secure knowing that fulfilling your obligations to your family doesn't depend on the word of someone else.
2006-10-30 07:59:52 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No! Don't go with him!
The mistake you are making is that he will be the only guy you ever meet who wants to be with you. Do you know how many opportunities you will have over the next several years?
If you go with him, however, you'll cut short your opportunities - of finding the right guy at the right time, (because even if this is the right guy, it just isn't the right time,) and opportunities from finishing school.
Besides, what if he's lying? We guys do that, you know.
2006-10-30 07:51:56 · answer #9 · answered by Ciaoenrico 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Until you are able to stand on your own two feet and support yourself without the need of anyone else, STAY HOME! You will otherwise possibly become a prisoner in another country with no way out. Be independent and never be with someone out of need. Be with them because you want them in your life.
2006-10-30 07:52:41 · answer #10 · answered by Letsee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Where's your common sense? Do you know how many western women are either fooled or abducted and taken to asia and forced to work as prostitutes in brothels? Don't be so gullible and stupid. Do some research.... this kind of thing is big business over there and I'm not making this up.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/773477/posts
And there is endless information on white slave trafficking and forced prostitution. I'd be careful if I were you.
2006-10-30 08:56:50 · answer #11 · answered by just_me3575 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋