how do you tell a friend that their kids need speech therapy?

Question

They're lovely kids and all, but i can't understand much of what they say. They're 6 and 5 year old girls. i don't want to offend their parents, but i (among others) think that they should look into getting their girls to a doctor about their speech.

Answer 1

How close is this friend? If she is a very close friend - just come out and say what you think.

If she is not a close friend you must balance the needs of the children against the friendship - which is more important?

I would say what I thought and risk it - children need advocates and while it's a lovely theory that schools will identify needs it doesn't always happen in practice.

Say it just how you did here - that you think they are lovely kids but you cannot understand them when they talk and has she considered that they might benefit from speech therapy.

Answer 2

I know you mean well, but it's really not up to you to let them know this. I'm sure they get the hint when people don't understand what they are saying and they (the parents) have to translate. Some kids at that age still have problems with certain sounds that will get better with age (s, l, th, sh, etc.) The school system evaluates for speech problems where they will get necessary speech therapy or referral if necessary.

If it ever comes up in conversation, you can ask if they have been evaluated. Otherwise, I wouldn't bring it up because some parents can be very sensitive where the development of their child is concerned. Keep being a loyal & concerned friend.

Answer 3

The parents may already be aware. My son has speech issues too, but I'm lucky enough to live in a school district that will take care of it when he turned 3. They offer free speech therapy and busing too and from school (he also gets free pre-school for 1/2 days 4 days a week because he's considered disabled by our district because of his speech). But I'm not the norm, most schools don't offer it until the child is enrolled for kindergarten. Speech therapy is expensive (it's $50.00 for a half an hour session here). A lot of times insurance won't pay for it either. I wouldn't say anything to the parents. It just may make them feel worse about their situation.

Answer 4

Schools are required by a US federal law (P.L. 94-142) to provide a free, appropriate, public education for all children in the public schools, and it includes services such as speech therapy.
Tell the mom that you aren't sure if it's your ears, or their speech, that keeps you from understanding the kids. I frequently told my pediatric patients I couldn't hear them ("My ears aren't working too well today"), rather than that I couldn't understand them. That way, the onus was on me, and the kids weren't embarrassed that their speech teacher couldn't understand their attempts to communicate. The same goes for the parents of these kids.
The developmental milestones for speech development show that by 4yrs of age, a child's speech shoud be "intelligible" (i.e., completely understandable) to a non-family member. It's still OK
to have some immature speech sounds at that age. All speech sounds should be mature by 7yrs.
The school should have picked that up and requested permission from the parents for a speech therapy evaluation. If not (shame on them!), your friend can contact the school's principal to request an evaluation. It won't cost her a dime, and may fend off embarrassment and damaged self-esteem for the girls.

Answer 5

There isn't much you can do without offending your friend. No mom wants to be told that her kids aren't perfect. If these kids are in school, then the teacher will probably recommend they get speech therapy which is usually offered through the school. If she takes her kids for regular checkups, her doctor has probably already discussed the problem with her anyway.

Answer 6

I agree about their schooltaking care of it.

If that has not happened you can gently say to the kids each time, "I'm sorry, I don't understand you."

You could also try to bring the subject up in a casual conversation. Or make up and imaginary friend that you can pawn off as having met the girls and tell the parents in a disgusted way that THEY said they couldn't understand the girls and think they need speech therapy. Hey, it might work!

As a last resort, you could just ask if the school has speech therapy and if the parents ask why just say,
"I was just wondering because sometimes I have a hard time understanding your girls. I AM getting my ears checked, too, though in case it's just me."

Answer 7

If they go to school, their teachers will bring the subject up to the parents.

As a friend, it's easy to want to say something, but your friend might be offended if you do, so it might just be easier to let the teachers deal with it. My son had hearing damage due to ear infections while he was a baby, and his first grade teacher asked me if she could get him tested, and now he goes to speech therapy 3 days a week at school.

Answer 8

Typically, it is the kindergarten teacher that identifies many of the speech and language issues and many kids start speech therapy in 1st grade.

If your friend is a good friend, you could casually mention, "I often have difficulty understanding ...... When do kids lose their baby speech?"

Answer 9

At 5 and 6, I assume they attend school and the school will usually approach mom and dad about this. I don't know if there is a polite way to tell them without them getting offended unless you are very close to the family.

Answer 10

If they are in school, the school should of already reccomended speech therapy if they thought they needed it. Most schools test kids yearly for that type of thing.