I have a girl friend. I used to flirt with her, move around, have fun (NO SEX except kissings & touches). But i was already engaged to another girl before i started liking this girl. Now i realise that i am in love with this gril and can't think a life without her. Its a difficult situation for me. I am getting married after 1 month. Don't know what to do?
This 2nd girl is my parent's choice, she is also very cute and a good person from a good family and very cultured. I sense her love for me and i guess it is not possible to desclose about my first love to her. She will die.
please help me.
2006-10-29 23:22:46 · 33 answers · asked by zarar don 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
its really a difficult situation..........but as a counceller i will suggest u to marry i girl who who came in ur life 1st dat was the girl whom ur parents selected instead of giving her dat love n effection u give to ur friend.....according 2 me u were somewhere wrong but u can even even correct ur self try 2 forget that girl......c u have 2 forget her.....sometimes norms of the society becomes more important......so plz let life go as smooth as it can be........take care.......all the best for the future.......hope u even understand the girls feelin who is gonna leave everything n will marry u n trust u that u will give her the love she deserves.......as she didnt do anything........plz think its not only ur life even think about her............bye.......hope u choose the right path
2006-10-30 01:52:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better back out now that you're not married yet than make you and your fiancee miserable in your married life.And it is going to be miserable if you keep pining for this second girl.It's also unfair to your fiancee.
It's going to be a drama scene when you break up but at least you don't have the marriage bonds yet, to break that would be nastier.
A word of advice?Don't rush into things, especially relationships.I don't know if you're also just a bit confused?Did you start flirting with the second girl after you were engaged?If that's a yes, I suggest you let go of the first one, you owe her that.
Or maybe more time spent with this second girl recently has just made you confused and maybe also a bit afraid of the marriage?
I also suggest you be practical and not just FEEL everything.What did you love about your fiancee in the first place?What changed now?What is it about the second girl that makes her heavier in your heart than the other one?Weigh everything carefully but do it fast, don't wait for the day of the weddiing, don't make your fiancee's pain and embarrassment more open to the public.
2006-10-29 23:37:28 · answer #2 · answered by ivy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't ready to get married at all. Definately break off the engagement before you make a terrible mistake that causes you and everyone else a lot of pain. But don't then immediately start with the 2nd. You need to chill and do some growing up.
Personally, I don't think anyone should be allowed to get married until they are 35!
2006-10-29 23:30:32 · answer #3 · answered by Key 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am reminded of a very famous quotation - "Heart has its Reasons, which Reason knows not of". We all do things, which we don't know why we did or why we are doing it.
In case two choices emerge:
1. Break off the engagement and carry on with your relationship with your girlfriend - that means marry her.
2. Break-off your relationship with your girlfriend and move on into the married life with your fiancee.
I have delibeartely not suggested the third possible scenario of carrying on with both the relationships as in this case it would mean death of many aspirations and thereby of many relationships - eventually.
Of the above-mentioned two options - first one seems to be better in your case. Having understood your level of involvement with your girlfriend - it becomes absolutely essential that you move away from the life of your fiancee with immediate effect - your dishonesty discovered later on would kill her (even if she remains alive).
I know it seems hard decision for you to make at this point by calling off the engagement - but please do remember that this hard decision would compare to nothing what otherwise you will have to take repeatedly later on in life.
I wish you and your girl friend all the best for a happy maried life.
2006-10-29 23:46:29 · answer #4 · answered by Akshat Mehta Panjab University 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How cud that be your first love.....???
i dont think that as love at all....
u r ruining life of 2 girls.....
first of all u didnt mentioned that wether that gal whome u like knows about ur engagement or not if she knows then i dont htink that its love at all.
and if she doesnt know then u r ruining the life of both of the girls.
u should tell the girl that u r already engaged and when u were already engaged then u sud have been commited to the girl u are egngaged to. now tell me when u cant b loyal to that girl then is it necessary that u will bve loyal to that girl.
possibaly or probably u find another girl attractive u sepend some time with her and u get fond of her and u again get in problem that nowu like this new girl
so dont get blinded, its just infatuation. just coz u spend more time with er and that also closely.
and when u are engaged to a firl then u should be loyal to each other
trust
thats one of the most important thing necessary for any relationship. so u should tell all secrets atleast secreats like these which are crucial for your relationship. u cant keep such things secret coz that will harm your relationship. and if that girl whom u like know abt ur engagemenet then i tell u its not important that she also love u or might be loyal to u.
when that engaged girl is so nice and so cuntured and so cute and cares for u so much then i dont understand how cud u get attracted to any other girl.If i wud had been in ur place i wud not have attracted to any other girl
if i wud had then i wud havent kept it secret from my fieancee
and wud had told her everything
and asked for her advice too
and also i wud have tried to end such affairs with that other girl
but still its ur life
its ur call
u will have to take the decisions
2006-10-29 23:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by Vijay Agarwal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you you do don't get married. The girl you are engaged to is obviously not the right person for you if you are having feelings for someone else. You need break your engagement off immediately, whether you end up with the other girl or not getting married to the girl your engaged to is not the right choice. After you break that off you may want to talk to the other girl, but don't rush anything or any kind of relatonship. you might want to try remaiing friends with her to see if their is something really there then explore it.
2006-10-30 01:41:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to do the right thing and break off the engagement. Hey its going to hurt some people but thats life. You should be with the one you love.
Think about after you marry the girl your engaged to now your going to be so miserable and all your going to think about is the girl you love and should be with.
Marry the girl your in love with. If your marry the one your with now you will regret it! Also who cares what your parents think its you getting married not them.
2006-10-30 01:25:44 · answer #7 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should call of the wedding, it is no use getting married to someone that you don't want to be with, it is not fair on you or the bride to be to be in a false relationship. It will be hard to call the wedding off but it will be harder to break the relationship up further along the line when you have actually got married.
2006-10-30 05:00:02 · answer #8 · answered by emmalp75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO do not do it do not marry this girl if your heart is with someone else....You are hurting her already by not loving her in return your heart already cheated on your fiance do not marry this girl you need to take sometime alone and think about this how about the situation presents it self and it gets physical (sex) with the girl you are in love you will not be able to resist and then you are not gonna be able to deal with the guilt DO not waiste anymore of your fiances time ////
2006-10-29 23:28:38 · answer #9 · answered by melanni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're headed for failure if you marry with ANY doubt whatsoever. from what you wrote, i would give you 6 mo. and you'll be at the divorce attorney. while it might be a painful experience to break off the engagement, it will be painful for only a few weeks. if you go through with it while your heart is truly with another, you'll be living a painful experience for a much longer time. break the engagement. it sounds like the best for both of you.
2006-10-29 23:32:35 · answer #10 · answered by The Beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋