He is so, so horrible with me I think it's going along the lines of emotional/verbal abuse. Why is he so nasty to me and to my mom so lovely? If he comes out with a question that is neither directed at me or my mom, I sometimes answer and he'll say, "I'M ASKING YOUR MOTHER NOT YOU" - like he's talking down to me tone.
2006-10-29 22:30:32 · 26 answers · asked by Say It Like You Mean It 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The real question is why would your mom tolerate that asshole talking down to her child and treating you badly?
2006-10-29 23:37:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your mom. let her know that your happy she's happy and you don't want to make her unhappy but you need to tell her some things that the bf has said to make YOU unhappy.
just ask her to let the bf know you are part of the family no matter what and that you would like to be friends if he could just treat you more kindly then you won't feel bad anymore.
if go at your mom about what an *** he is then she will think your only trying to break them up because you don't like him. on the other hand? who would like someone that is treating you like crap?? if he is being abusive then you need to tell you mom.
maybe you should just show her this question.. i think that would be a great place to start. let her read all of this stuff and try to reassure her that you are not trying to break her up with him but that you don't want to feel uncomfortable in your own home.
i wish you luck.
2006-10-30 06:45:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesnt sound very experienced in being around children so this may just be his way of keeping the scary daughter away from him emotionally rather than admit he hasnt a clue how to communicate with you,,you hold no incentive for him,so to speak,he can get nothing from you but he is forgetting you are your mothers daughter and given time,,a wedge will be formed between them because of his lack of concern for the way you and he get along,,even though it isnt your job as the child you are the one grown up enough to ask what is going on,i doubt he has,,so......next time you and he talk,,privately,,try talking to him,,show him what grown up is,,age does not equal maturity and you seem to understand the differences,,if you have to talk down to his level then at least try,,some men are like this but there is always hope,it just takes someone brave enough to know what is happening and the desire to fix it,,if that just happens to be you,so be it,,and do include your mum as she does need to see you and he at least trying to get on as this will benefit her in the long run if ever the relationship is on the rocks specifically due to this problem.
2006-10-30 06:39:40 · answer #3 · answered by lex 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am answerin as the mother of a 15 yr old with this problem and I can see that my partner sometimes does this to my son but I wont tolerate or allow this to happen as my kids come first. We constantly row about the way my partner talks to my son (not my daughter) but luckily it doesnt happen too often and my son tolerates a lot and has diffused the situation many times.
Talk to your mum but just ask her to listen to him next time you answer his quetions. Hopefully she will wake up and see exactly whats happening and rectify the situation, optherwise dump him.
2006-10-30 09:49:48 · answer #4 · answered by anni333 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately, it would seem your mother is there, when this happens, so no need talking to her about his behavior. she is aware. what SHE seems to be missing (not you), is that she is worth something, she has little or no self respect. she seems to think that as long as this man pays attention to her, the price is small. from experience i can tell you, that until she has regained her self-esteem, or the abuse turns on her, there will be little done about it. how old are you? can you leave? i suggest not talking to your mom about how he treats you, but how he will eventually treat her, because my dear, you are a part of her, and if he can openly treat you this way, her day is coming. be prepared to leave. again, its unfortunate that, yes, other people do have profound effects on our lives. good luck and I'll keep you guys in my prayers.
2006-10-30 06:50:45 · answer #5 · answered by valve6 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be that he's not really comfortable around you...maybe he is just not comfortable with any kid, or maybe he sees a lot of someone else when he looks at you, and is still fighting old battles from his past. In either case, it doesn't sound like it's a situation that will lead to happiness. Better consult your mom about this...from what you said, he doesn't sound like a good one for either of you to have in your lives.
2006-10-30 06:39:29 · answer #6 · answered by Joe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Because , like so many people, he has no manners?
2. Because you're not his daughter and as such are an inconvenience?
3. He speaks to you in a similar tone to that with which you speak to him?
2006-10-30 06:35:48 · answer #7 · answered by Peter W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants your mum not the whole family package by the sounds of it. Try talking to your mum about it but remember it will probably sound like you are just trying to split them up so choose your words carefully. Good luck.
2006-10-30 06:32:13 · answer #8 · answered by claire 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he feels threatened by you. you don't need to put up with him. tell your mom-or if your not feeling so brave just ignore him. the more anger you show everytime he treats you bad, the more he'll do it. he see's it maybe as a way of showing you he is higher. don't let him bug you-ignore it, but if it's really bad tell your mom definately.
2006-10-30 06:46:06 · answer #9 · answered by maemae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because sadly the man only wants your mom......but then there's you, screwing everything up....another mans child.....he's going to have to decide if your mother is good enough to put up with the both of you.
2006-10-30 06:34:17 · answer #10 · answered by Scratch-N-Sniff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋