I have 2 choices for marriage - Option 1:A man who loves me like crazy, has been in love with me for 4 years, very well educated, a wonderful human being but from a different social, cultural and economic background. While I like and respect him a lot, I dont love him! Feel no attraction for him at all! The thought of a holiday with him doesnt excite me; I focus on the food when I'm out with him rathar than on him! Option 2 is an equally intelligent guy from a socio-economic and cultural background very similar to mine. He loved me once upon a time, but decided to get engaged to someone else on his parents provocation. Broke off with that girl and wants to get back to me again. I have liked and been attracted to him like no other man I have met in my life. My heart says he likes me a lot, but how do I know he will not deceive me again ? Is he the right choice ? I went into a depression when he got enagaged; happy like hell that he's hback as an option in my life. Who should I choose?
2006-10-29 21:24:38 · 8 answers · asked by Miss Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Go w/ #1, he seems like he will treat you like a queen and if you don't grow to love him for that, then there is something wrong w/ you. Sorry that you can't him them both, that would be my preference.
2006-10-29 21:30:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend with the similar problem. She decided to go for the nice guy who had never treated her like a second handed plate. If a guy does this a woman than that mean he wasn't sure about you or he probably thought he could do better and decided to take the chance. He lost and now he wants you back. He should never bend over for a man who has hurt you without deserving it.
I meet a couple through my boyfriend about 1yr. ago they told me they have been together for a 10yrs. not married and never lived together. I thought there was a problem instantly. Sure enough... Last night I asked the guy when he was getting married and he said, I can't believe you are asking me that.... When you are ready you just know. I said nothing else. There was nothing else to ask. He answered the question well. I said, some men are so selfish they date a woman for many many years they never engage or wed, latter they meet someone else brake up with the previous girlfriend and 6 months latter they are married. His laughter was so ironic.
What I am trying to say is don't waist your time. He once thought he could do better than you. Now, teach him you could do better than him. Social, cultural, and economic backgrounds should not get in the way of 2 people that love each other. If you two have good communication, respect, and common sense you should have a good healthy long lasting relationship. Every individual is different regardless of their backgrounds. It's all about meeting the right person for you that will communicate properly with you and not take you for granted.
You may not love guy #1 but maybe in the future you will meet the one right for you. When a man really LOVES you nothing absolutely nothing will separate him from you not even his parents I don't care how they were raised or what culture they are. That's the way it is. He told you that because that was his smart easy way out. I know many people from different backgrounds that are very happy, although, their families don't agree with the relationship. The man said to his parents, "this is the woman I love and if you do not accept her than you don't accept me." He also demands all his family members respect towards the wife and vise versa. These couples are sooo happy together it makes people sick... jealous people that is....
I hope this has helped you.
Good luck and remember before you can love someone else you must first love and respect yourself. Never allow to be 2nd in a mans life if you are planning a future with him. Don't let anyone use you like that.
Hope you make the best decision for yourself!
.
2006-10-30 06:02:48 · answer #2 · answered by jbella 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol. u just don't feel it for the first guy. it doesn't matter if the guy loves you like crazy (for 4 years), is very well educated, or if he's a nice guy. you don't feel attraction for him now and you sure as hell won't feel attraction for him later on.
as for the second guy, you said," I have liked and been attracted to him like no other man I have met in my life." no matter what people tell you here, the fact that you feel such attraction towards the second guy won't change. the second guy will make you feel good and i'm sure you'll be happy with the second guy.
now to answer your questions...attraction (doesn't have to be physical) is an essential criteria when chosing a marriage partner if you want to be in a good marriage. You won't know for sure whether or not he will deceive you again, but you have to believe that he won't do it again. As far as the right choice...the one who will make you happy is the right choice, so i say that the second guy is the right choice. if it's not obvious already, i say choose the second guy, you'll be happy you did. let me know how things turn out.
2006-10-30 05:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by battousai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's quite a dillema there, but I would have to say follow your heart. You can't be with someone for the rest of your life if you're not even remotely attracted to him because that will cause you to stray later on if not sooner and you will have a very unhappy life if you don't feel fulfilled. You don't know if this other man is going to deceive you, but for the chance to be happy, isn't it worth it?
2006-10-30 05:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by Charitie S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...well..well..aren't you totally confused?:) As a suggestion, who do you think the most of? And do you think the one you really don't like will give you a happy life..if you're not excited about him now, what will happen 5 years down the road? About the one who got engaged..I'd think you may need to take a leap of faith..unless of course he has a habit of cheating and deceiving and leaving you...good luck
2006-10-30 05:32:34 · answer #5 · answered by nirvana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Decide what u want, with option 1 u will end up stable, unsatisfied, and live that way till death do u part.
With 2 u will live an exciting, sexually gratifying, yet short-lived romance
Choose what u can live with
2006-10-30 05:36:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Difficult choice,I agree.I think you should be with the one that makes you feel complete when you are with him.You choose who will be that guy.Best wishes!
2006-10-30 05:27:17 · answer #7 · answered by ♥beautyfly♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kno exactly wat ur goin thru...there are guyz who r willing treat me like princess...but im not physically attracted to them...so i can't picture bein with them no matter how they treat me...i kno its a shallow thing to do...putting looks first...but guess we can't help it....looks is wat attract us to someone...can u imagine spendin the rest of ur life with a guy who ur not physically attracted to? will u be happy? i kno that if i get together with a guy im not physically attracted to, i won't be satisfied and chances are i'll cheat on him with someone who i find attractive! its sad...thats y i wouldn't chose someone who i dun find attractive in the first place
2006-10-30 05:38:03 · answer #8 · answered by Forever happy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋