What's the problem with young Moms? Why do so many people have issues with young mothers?

Question

Not JUST teen mothers, but young mothers? There are many woman that have children at the age of 30 & still can't take care of them. Why does someone being young automatically make them a bad parent? Please don't get me wrong their are some younger people that don't have the slightest clue, but why does everyone have to be sterotyped because someone else made a mistake? Do people not realize that just a little over 100yrs ago people had kids at the age of 15 & that was wonderful?! I just really truly want to know why women, yes women not girls are judged by the decisions they've made? Sometimes a young pregnancy was an accident others on purpose, but having that beautiful little baby.. Doesn't that show they're stronger than some? Even if the baby is put up for adoption... That has to be a hard to step, even for a 15,16,or even 22yo. But the point is how can someone, no more more importantly can a woman criticize another woman for bringing life into this world?

Answer 1

People get annoyed with me when I ask this exact same question. I even bring up the fact that if they do a little research that they will find that about 100 years ago women were married with children as early as age 14. My grandmother was married at the age of 16. And they always give the same simple responds by saying that young girls bodies aren't ready to have babies. This is the most asisine response that I get because if their bodies weren't ready they would not menstruate. Is that why we go through menstruation? Anyway, although I do agree that young girls are not mentally prepared to be parents nor do I condone teenage pregnancy because often times the child is left to be raised by their grand parents or the government, I do not judge a woman because she had her baby young. There are some who made "mistakes" yet they take their responsibility head on. I was a teen mother and although I became a statistic. I p romise myself that I would not become another one, so I graduated high school at the top of my class. I was 13th in my class out of 285 students, I worked to take care of my daughter and have never been on welfare. Her father has always been an active and positive part of her life, and I went on to college and have a career. I met my husband when my daughter was 9 months old and he has been here every since. My daughter is now 16, an honor student who volunteers at one of our local children hospitals and works part time. She has her pick of colleges because she has excellent grades. I know of some women who had their children later than I and they cannot say the same thing. People looked at me and shook their heads and I held my head up high because I was never ever ashamed. I thank my parents for that because although my parents were a little disappointed, they never made me feel worthless and they supported me. So when I encounter a teenage parent I tell them to not allow it to slow them down and that they can make it. Never once have I judged a teen parent because as you say there are 25, 35, and 45 year old women who aren't fit to be parents. So to all the mothers out there I say do the best that you can to raise your children right and don't worry about some self righteous people who act as if they have never made a "mistake" in their lives.

Answer 2

some people are just critical of the situation...maybe they were raised by a mother that didn't care for them the right way. I just turned 21, 2 weeks ago, and my son turned 1 today, i have another son due in Dec. Most people think that i am a great mom....thats not to say that ALL of my family were disappointed when i first told them i was Pregnant....they all thought that i was too young (only being 19 when i got pregnant and turned 20 two weeks before my son was born). i think that unless someone spends 24/7 with the mother and child then no one can say weather or not the mother is a good one or not. So if you are a young mother and you think that you are doing the best that you can possibly do for your child then you shouldn't even care what other people say....you know in your heart that you are doing right by your child. Sorry if some of this doesn't' make much sense...I'm tired.

Answer 3

I think that many older moms look down on younger moms for the one fact that they are younger. The challenges a younger mom faces are often harder and much more complex than that of an older mom. Some may say that the older you are the more prepared you may be. Some times younger moms, especially the teenage moms may not have a choice in the matter. The way I see it, if anything moms of all ages should be looked up on as equals and people to respect and admire. It is hard to be a mom, no matter what age. It requires sacrifice. The good thing about older moms is they may have more experience and can share that with younger moms. Younger moms have a more unique way of thinking, so they could have new parenting techniques that could be shared with older moms.

Answer 4

I have no problem with young or teenage mother. Sometimes the younger mothers are the best mothers. And another thing is I know many young people who are not married have children. And guess what BOTH parents are still in the picture, and they're not on any kind of assistance from the gov. I'm not saying that all people are like that though. So what I'm trying to say is that if the young parents are mature and self sufficient then I don't really see a problem.

Answer 5

I agree that their is an unfair prejudice in our society against young mothers. It's based entirely on social changes as in the past it was the norm. Biologically speaking, women are most nubile (fertile) between the ages of 15-25 (where adequete nutrition is available). From 25 to 30 there is a significant (but not dire) drop off, and a steep drop thereafter.

It's not just a matter of being able to become pregnant, but corresponding to these age changes in reduced fertility are increases in birth defects (chromosome abnormalities) and miscarriages. Check out http://lsir.la.psu.edu/workfam/delaykids.pdf for detailed info and studies on this.

Also those born to mothers under 25 have been found twice as likely to live to 100. Probably due to healthier eggs and mother thus producing a genetically healthier offspring. You can read about this at http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=392506&in_page_id=1766&in_a_source=&ito=1490 and http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/7350.html

Of course many young women aren't ready (as are some older), but waiting too long has it's downsides which must be weighed. This isn't talked about much in media (slanted against young mother's). If a young mother is ready (and has the means or support necessary), it makes no sense she be chastised for reproducing while at the peak for doing so.

Answer 6

I only have a prolbem with it when they are not married. I have a problem with THAT becuase they milk our welfare system, they use up valuable resourses that WE tax payers have to pay for. It is very damaging to the economy in our nation.

Further-these young unwed mothers raise kids by themselves who turn out to be holy terrors most of the time. OR i might add they then have the grandparents bound to raising these kids, which is completely selfish. Children need both parents!!

There is no " strength" in someone becoming pg and having it at that young age after a mistake. The strength lies in adopting the baby to a couple so it has both parents who are financially, emotionally and otherwise fit to raise the child. THAT is where the strength lies. No, I dont think they are stronger. Stronger is the woman who keeps herself pure before the Lord and reserves that special experience for her husband. Stronger is the woman or GIRL who keeps herself chaste because she respects herself and her body AND the man she will be married to. Stronger is the woman who is able to one day say to her own child, keep yourself pure and receive the blessings from doing so, becuase I did.

Now, for being YOUNG and a mother...if you are married than I have no problems. And yes, 100 yrs ago 16 yr olds did have babies, but they were MARRIED. There was no welfare system that the rest of us had to deal with. There were husbands involved. Family units developed from this.

You say, " how can a woman criticize another woman for bringing a life into this world". I feel that is a bit dramatic.... When a teen is having babies, they are just that ... teens!

I agree the baby is beautiful... but if you think that baby is a gift for your infadelity? you are wrong. Plant a tomatoe seed and you get a tomatoe plant. It is NOT a gift for infadelity.

In my opinion... you asked.

Answer 7

I had my oldest son when I was 16 and turned 17 a month later. I agree with you. It has been stereotyped for many years. It is not a glorious, fab life to live, but it's not the worst either. I finished high school, worked a full time job and was a mommy full time. Yeah, I missed out on the partying, the drinking all of the stuff that other teenagers my age were doing, but I wouldn't trade any of those things for the smile on my son's face or all of the poopy diapers he had. I believe he helped mold me into the person I am today. People are just too judgemental these days. They want someone else to put down and criticize to make them feel better about themselves. What a poor, sad, sad life.

Answer 8

im the same. i was 17 when i got pregnant and 18 when i had my son. im now 21 and he is 3. i friend of my partners and mine is 16 and pregnant. she will be 17 when she has this baby! no-one is happy about it but only because she is very immature and takes drugs and yeah. When my hubby and i first found out and we seen her she goes "guess what!" i was like yeah i know and walked away. i didnt say congrats or nothing because both my hubby and i know the reason y she got pregnant is because a few other firends of ours (16-18) have had kids in the last 6 months. She said she wanted to be like them and also for the money! (in australia we get money to have the baby and also get paid every week to look after the baby) she was living with my hubby and i for a while with her bf, all she did was sleep she never cleaned the house nothing i had to do everything for her. NOW she has an excuse not to ever work again (for the next 5 years) or do anything. when girls like this get pregnant yeah it piddles me off but when a very mature 16 year old has a baby im fine with it!

Answer 9

my mom was 15 when she started having kids, she had 3 childern in 3 yrs. she was fussed at one time , told she was way too young to be babysitting.(her own kids!)but, she loved kids, so i was really lucky to have her as a mom. i`ve seen good young mothers & bad,same as older. the best way to tell a good mother is by their childern-their actions speak louder than words!I had a wild child -always going, but she is sweet, caring,& very smart.in, fact,i`ve had other kids say,she is tooo happy.i am a older mom,which is as hard as being a young mom-at least we`ve seen where our friends & family goofed up & try not to do it ourselves,a lot depends on how selfish a person is-no matter what age.being a good mom means always putting your child first, and you do need a husband,a child NEEDS a father,yes, i agree that some men do not need to be fathers. but young women wanting to go out & have kids really need to be married with a good man first-i know that a few women can raise a child sucessfully on her own, but from what i`ve seen,the woman have to give up searching for their "soul-mate" why? because they don`t have the time!

Answer 10

many people will always have issues with teen or young mothers, first because,these young mothers are less experience with the new status they accidentally find themselves.Second, they(teen mothers) are not expected to start producing kids at a moment when they are not pyschologically and morally prepare for it. Third, teens are suppose to be in school chasing a life ambition and not out there producing babies they can barely keep.Fourthly, babies have emotions,they desire love,in this case, love of both parents from a stable relationship can actually satisfy this yearnings. Babies are not play doll or toys.They are real human needing matured handling and guidance in life.