I am confused abt my boyfriend's behaviour?

Question

i am in a 3 yr old relationship and m still a virgin . We live in different counties with my boyfriend and we only see each other during holiday times..My boyfriend doesn't want mi to go out with my galfriends, m not even allowed to speak with males. If ever i miss a call from him , i have to explain to him .. where i was with and with whom . He will start to accuse mi that i ignored his calls coz i was in bed with someone.. We are planning to get engaged this december n he bought the ring already. i donow what to do n i'm really confused ..He always say that he loves mi and his luv for mi will never die , but with his behaviour i really donow what to do.. i donow if it's distance or what coz when we are together we rarely fight

Answer 1

Since your bf is not around to know what u are doing he has to behave that way. After all if u are going out , it means that other men often try to get to you. he is just safeguarding his investment from a distance. next u are with him let him pop u and u will be surprised what confidence and trust he will have in u just knowing u saved urself for him.( by the way where u from, i need a beautiful virgin.)

Answer 2

This is purely unhealthy for a lifetime relationship! Take it from me. I am now married to a wonderful husband who learnt to trust me no matter what. But b4 we got married, he used 2 behave like that because we were living away from each other. I sometimes got tired of all accusations until I taught myself not to let my emotions take over.

I remeber oneday we were talking on the phone and he was telling me that I ignore his calls bcos I m seeing somebody. The answer I gave him was whatever threatens you about me is what you are currently doing. He kept quite 4 a long time and you know what, he said I'm doing this bcos I love you but then I said it's not possible that you love me if you don't trust me then he said ok, I'll give it a try.

SO what I can say 2 u is, make him understand and he will change if that is the only reason but if not his behavior will tell and you are sure to call it a day.

It is not possible that you can love someone if you don't trust the person. Love grows from trust. That, is not the fact but the truth. Be yourself and tell him how you feel and if he doesn't listen don't commit urself and think it will be fine later. Communication is the best healer & if is not there/poor then u'll go nowhere.

Love him enough to stop him get away with this bcoz it will destroy both of you. It takes a lot of effort and courage to do this.
It's not easy if u r in love but it is worht it!

Best luck!!
Kea..

Answer 3

Be careful this could be tricky. It could be that he is giving subconcious hints that he is very controlling and could lead to abusive behaviour if he does not get his way. It cannot be for the sole reason that he is jealous or insecure as trust should be the major key in your relationship. It does not sound like he trusts you and that could be an issue. They key to make any relationship a success is to have trust, respect and communication if any of these things are missing then your relationship is nothing but a dead end. I would suggest that you talk to your man about his behaviour and how it makes you feel when he acts like that. If he really loves you, he will compromise his behaviour and will relax. Tell him that you don't have to report to him on your whereabouts as you are independant and can make up your own mind. If he has a problem with this, tell him that he is living in the 21st century where woman are independant. I am sure that he will see your side of the story and will conform in correcting is actions. Best of luck amigo and if you should need any more advice please feel free to contact me on my 360. Ciao

Answer 4

Angela, he is going throughout the scratch, sniff and administration degree. it relatively is all a pair of guy that's no longer totally progressed yet in relationships staggered into emotional content fabric, yet exhilarated in happiness, yet no fault is the barrier that haunts his very capacitance that leaks out all his emotions for you. as quickly as he can preserve it and carry it like a battery holds voltage, he will do stable, yet good now, he's a drained battery and preserving no value

Answer 5

WHAT??
Are you really considering marrying this freak?
Think about how controlling he is NOW. Do you think he's gonna ease up after the marriage?
You already have distance. Call him up, END IT, and change your number to an unlisted one.
Move if you have to. But get away.!
He will make your life a living hell if you marry him.

Answer 6

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!!!!

Get out while you still can! Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, then brought it back for a refund.....after much physical, sexual, and mental abuse. I'M SERIOUS ABOUT THIS! Men like this are either a) completely and totally possesive and controlling, or they use their undying devotion as a cover-up for their own philandering. Let me guess, he's at least 5 yrs older than you?

Answer 7

It sounds like he has jealousy issues and trust me those won't get any better once you're together full time.
No man has the right to tell you who you can hang with or talk to.

I wouldn't put up with it if i were you. I know you've been together 3 yrs, but honestly i think it would just be better to cut your losses and move on.

Answer 8

3 years of relationship is nothing.u cant simply say that u guys r ready for serious commitment just becoz u coupled for 3 years and dat doesnt mean dat u know his actual behaviour.furthermore,he lives in other country,for god sake!how can u trust some guy like that?and his jealousy is wayyy over the limit.u cant let a guy control ur life like that,u deserve some space.he is so overprotective!yet u want to marry him?i duno how u guys gona survive.he can easily get jealous over your gurlfriends?wut's dat?in relationship,we need to trust each other.n i haf a strong feeling dat he doesnt trust u at all.he even feel jealous when u go for outing with ur gurlfriends..hello!u'r not his wife yet.u dun hafta follow everything that he sed.true,love need sacrifices.but love also to say no sometimes.u cant just let the guy control ur life.the next time he sees u,have a slow talk with him.tell him everything that u'r not satisfied wif/feel uncomfortable wif wut he's doing to u.

Answer 9

my husband used to be like that and he works away for 6-8wks at a time. its called insecurities. its not that he doesnt trust you.
you need to talk to him about the situation reassure him that you love him and want to be with me and that he has nothing to worry about, and that by getting engaged to him you are making a serious commitment to him.
sometimes distance does this to people, it will work its self out.
my husband is much better now he's away less and we are together more.

Answer 10

woahhhh!
get away from this person quick .
i was in a realationship like yours , we decided to get together , we were together for 22 yrs , and it was torcher and disaster .
he was jealous ,wouldnt let me go out , couldnt talk to friends, couldnt wear sexy clothes , it got worse as the yrs went by ,till i couldnt even talk to my family , then he began mental cruelty , although i was allways with him , and stayed in the house , he still accused me of screwing around .... and all the time it was to cover up the fact that he was the gigalo.. he was screwing around (sleeping around ) the whole obsessive thing was because he didnt want other men to have me ,but he also wanted to do his other woamn . total freak! please get away befor its too late and you feel stuck with him.
nobody deserves to get treated this way . you deserve better and can find better ! .
hope this helped .