How can one rid themselves of abusive family that wont go away?

Question

I was adopted by my grandparents.Yet every where I turn people demand I respect my abusive deadbeat dad.

Answer 1

Join Americorp or some such agency. Get yourself out of that town. If that is not currently feasable, when ever your abusive father is around and people are forcing you to respect him, go into a fetal position on the floor and whimper don't touch me there anymore daddy I'll be a good boy/girl whichever. And cry too. After you do that several times people will stop forcing you to be around this man.

Answer 2

it is very hard to respect an abusive dad. but to be even better than him would be, to be pleasant to him whenever you are in his company. no one can take away what you are thinking about him. be polite and answer him when he speaks ,but inside of yourself you can think what you like about him .one day when he is dying he will suddenly realise what a dreadful father he has been and he will be sorry . you, however will have done the utmost to give him respect , even though he doesn't deserve it.
your relatives will notice your behaviour and have nothing of which to complain about .show them you are mature enough to be respectful and like i said , ''think what you like about him''

Answer 3

Birth family lessons are most crucial ones that is why they are called Soul lessons. Lesson we have chosen as a soul to learn during our present stay on this planet, and no wonder they are so hard to understand, and then to let go.

Our family is what we have all chosen to be incarnated into, so respect that choice of your to begin with, and that one of the reasons getting over or letting go is so difficult, because you are not supposed to karmically unless you surrender to their wisdom, so I would suggest stop fighting and instead tune into the life lesson embedded in your relationship with your close family members especially ones you can make peace with. Ultimately lessons are of your soul they are simply making them available for you in this life time of yours.

Ask yourself: What might be the gift of wisdom behind your soul’s wisdom in choosing such a family? What part of me is being reflected in here?
What is the message in this life situation I am going through right now in my life?

The reason it won't go away is because they are under your soul's contract to teach you, your life lessons of empowerment and of self love and self respect, once you have done that convincingly for yourself, your physical family will no longer matter or trouble you.

The main gift of experiencing abuse is developing compassion and the wisdom to do better thereof.

But to do that you have to first release all your anger convincingly and find peace within, once you do that the gifts of your life's journey will surely start opening up for you. Practicing forgiveness regularly will help you over come this block ahead of you, and yes use that anger wisely don't waste away on self destructive habits and behaviour patterns, especially those can have damaging effects on your present or future relationships, allow love to come in too. You are safe as now you can protect yourself, for sure, just don’t expect your past to be any different now. Just accept it and release it. Embrace it as your self created truth and let it go.


If you can try reading the book, You can heal your Life by Louise L Hay, a wonderful book with ample insights into why we choose our physical families and how can we open ourselves up to the lessons embedded in our relationships with them.

Answer 4

Let them demand all they want. There is no law saying you have to respect your dad. Respect is earned if he hasn't earned it then he doesn't deserve it. That simple. If someone demands you respect him simply tell them no, and to butt out.

Answer 5

Go with your own feelings, my friend. They have no idea of what you've had to go through! So to put an end to it, I would move away somewhere, where your 'Father' cannot reach you! Good luck son! you have a whole life in front of you, enjoy it without them!

Answer 6

Tell them you have your reasons for feeling the way you do and if they cannot be acceptative of that, then they have a problem. Until they've walked in your shoes, they don't have a clue.

Answer 7

i know how you feel. any other way, he is still your dad. it will take sometime for you to forgive and move on. but keeping the grudges will never move you anywhere. for sure, he was sorry also of what he did to you. you cannot change people but you can start change by starting from you...