My mother ha an untreated mental disorder for my whole life and me and my siblings suffered greatly. Now I am 31 and I have my own family she is always around but can not be told that she is interfering other wise she has really bad attacks of depression and even attempted suicide today.
She has hurt me and my siblings for 31 years and does not even know or understand it has become to hard to help someone who is so distant to my suffering.
I battle with a heart condition and anxiety myself.
She has started a new treatment today but I find it hard to help and also not to help
2006-10-29 19:32:08 · 12 answers · asked by gusgus 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
call your hospice care center
2006-10-29 19:45:30 · answer #1 · answered by kwhic 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know what its like living with someone with mental disorders. My father when I was 12 killed himself, and after that my mother went downhill fast. She became very depressed, and was diagnosed as bipolar. I spent my teenage years finding her down from her many suicide attempts, or passed out drunk. SHe is still that way and I am now 28. She thinks that she is normal and everyone else is crazy.
I have ptsd and am taking wellbutrin, but it doesn't seem to help most of the time. She has ruined my life, made a lot of problems for my husband and I to the point he doesn't want me to be around her any if I can help it.
unfortanatly the advice I have is to have her put in a hospital to treat her, and take care of you and your family first. You will be an old man fast if you keep this up.
2006-10-29 19:39:32 · answer #2 · answered by steveangela1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While I do agree that too much exposure to your mother may not be good for you or your family, she is still your mother and if she is trying treatments it is not her fault that she is the way she is. My best advice is to get your siblings together and start and intervention with her. She needs help and if the treatments that she is on is not helping, you need to express your concerns to her doctor. I know there are laws prohibitting the discussion of ones private medical information with other people, but a simple (even anonymous) letter to her doctor expressing your concern for your mothers safety should work. Yes, keep yourself and your family safe from harm, but just dont forget about your mother because she is sick. Someone else said that you will be rewarded one day and that is very true even if you do not believe.
2006-10-29 23:21:44 · answer #3 · answered by babyj248 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's tough, because you've been around her so long,it has to affect you. Sometimes people need to be away from each other. You almost sound like a relative ! You have to decide what is best for your family, so you all can be happy. Are you letting her interfere? Your anxiety and heart condition may be caused by the stress she causes you to have. You need to figure out how to get a break from her. Refresh your mind. If you die, who's going to take care of her? but, don't lose your mind, like she's already losing hers.
2006-10-29 19:50:16 · answer #4 · answered by Scorpius59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a live in caretaker ( free room and board with a small payment) Medicate your mother so she is manageable. She knows what buttons to push to make you and your father feel guilty...also there are support groups which you should join to give you pointers on how to manage people such as your mother. You should not feel guilty as your father has chosen to take care of her.
2016-03-28 01:26:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up with an undiagnosed, mentally ill mom too. She refused to go to a psychiatrist or general practitioner for her illness. There was no talking to her. She was paranoid. She would fly off at the smallest thing and go on a rampage, and if you were in her way, she would verbally "take you down." It took MY diagnosis to get HER diagnosed. She saw herself in me, if that makes sense. I was diagnosed as bipolar 1 in 1993. She finally got treatment about a year after that.
I am in my 30's too but I live with my mom. She's better now that she's on her meds, but when she forgets, she's right back to her old self, the one I grew up with. Still, when I try to remind her to take her meds, she acts like a child and chews me out, saying "I'm not some child, I know when to take my meds" but then in the next breath, she thanks me for reminding her.
It's hard to live with those with mental illness, but I'm no "picnic" to deal with either. I am very unstable, but I'm mostly manic and she's mostly depressed. We both see our psychiatrists regularly. Things are definitely better now that we're both on meds.
I hope you both find her new treatment helpful. Maybe this suicide attempt will "jolt" her into realizing how serious her condition is. Sometimes those of us with mental illness cannot look at ourselves objectively. Sometimes, I'm afraid, we don't see ourselves as "sick" or think the drugs will cure us and we stop taking them after we feel better. The truth is that there is no cure for the illness. The meds are just keeping the symptoms at bay.
Does your mom work? Does she have anything to occupy her time, like a hobby? Does she have friends she can "hang out" with? Maybe, depending on her age, she might be able to go to elder day care. They have one at my church, and maybe your church (if you (or she) goes. They plan activities for those who would otherwise be alone. Who knows, she might meet some friends there, or someone in her same predicament. Also, if she's been in the mental hospital, she might be able to go to a support group there. Another option would be a "partial" program at the mental hospital. Those programs would allow your mom to attend helpful group therapy and possibly individual therapy. It would be somewhere for her to go during the day, and the therapies might help her deal with her illness.
I truly hope she comes to terms with her illness sooner rather than later, for the sanity of both of you. You might also benefit from a short course of therapy to help YOU deal with her illness. It might help you with your anxiety. It might help you deal with the mental effects of your heart condition. Good luck to you all!
2006-10-29 23:20:34 · answer #6 · answered by kim_bp1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully the new treatment will help. You basically have a couple of choices. You can cut her out of your life, or, you can seek counseling to assist you in dealing with her. If you want to help her, you have to be well yourself in order to do so. So it is very important that you care for yourself first.
2006-10-29 19:37:57 · answer #7 · answered by Rebecca 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mother has mental health issues as well. I feel like I could never turn my back on her. Maybe you should talk to a professional about how you feel if its that stressful for you.
2006-10-29 19:59:03 · answer #8 · answered by Violante 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may seem cruel but for the sake of your family and yourself you will need to distance yourself from her greatly, you dont want your family suffering the same as you have had to.
2006-10-29 19:55:54 · answer #9 · answered by Spastikus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gusgus, i'msorry about ur mum, but i would like to hear more about ur xanax experience, seriously i need to no if ur twitches lasted as long as mine have, i took 2mg. every nite to go to sleep, only time i took xanax. panic attacks were present too, email me at vjhmom0607@yahoo.com plz. also i took them for 6-7 years, before taperin off, md said i didn't taper long enough. pam or sophie
2006-10-29 20:04:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋