Are we to young to get married???

Question

okay so my boyfriend and i have talked about getting married...but hes 18 and i'm 20 we've been dating for almost 3 years and today my dad introduced him as his son in law...we want to get married in 2008 but i feel like alot of people will say we're to young...but if we're in love and we both feel like this is what God wants shouldn't we get married...i'm just nervous that we are to young and that it won't work out...we both love each other alot and I don't want to take a chance on something that could break us up...so are we to young? any serious advice please..

Answer 1

I don't think that you are too young but, I don't know your life and what you've experienced. Christian couples often get married younger than other couples it seems. It's usually because waiting for sex 'til your 26 or 30 is a bit much. Haha. Are there things you want to do first like go to college, start your career or travel the world? What are your dreams in life and what about your boyfriend? What about children and money? Do some premarital counselling and talk about these sorts of things. You could also just be in the 'thinking about marriage' stage. Maybe set your wedding for 20010 or 2011. You'll have your whole lives together after you get married. It might be worth waiting for especially if you are worried that you are too young or that it might not be right.

Answer 2

You have a few knots in your heart that are trying to rationalise your thoughts right now. Having a mutual spiritual unison of mind (the fact that both of you think this is God willing) is important, and this is actually the last step.

The first step is actually the super dry yet so very important "financial analysis" process. There are many hurdles in a marriage and financial hurdles should not be the early ones. Young couples often do not have enough mental toughness to overcome money problems as most have not develop the willingness to sacrifice their comfort for the betterment of the family. And let's not forget the initial "get use to the real me" period will add unpredictable stress which both of you need to work out. So bottomline - minimise the money problems first.

The second step will be to assess if both your BF and your feeling were motivated by your inner feelings or external influences. Inner feelings for each other are things like responsibility, accountability, trust, honesty, presence, sacrifice, stability, security, etc. You mix well with appropriate proportions.. and presto! You'll get this big word love. Inner feelings are genuine and dependable. Now the external influences are very real illusions disguised as love. Things like "being together for a long time" (and you think its responsibility), "report duty" (and you think it's accountability), "trust" (actually bo chup / simply don't bother), etc.. Often, these actions are reward-based or trained behaviours. You know what I mean if you are in love long enough.

The fact that you feel uneasy indicates that either your BF, or yourself, or both of you may not ready for this marriage. The old adage of "age is not a problem" is true, and it's an external influence as well because age is just a numerical testimonial of a person living in this world. The inner feelings are actually the perceived lack of responsibility, stability and security often associated with young age.

Hopefully this helps a little and good luck (but don't depend on it)!

Answer 3

What i would say is, Wait on and see how things goes. He's seems a bit too young and not suitable for a life long commitment as yet. I don't know about you, but I definately will feel that things won't work out the way we imagine it to be for now. Best to hang on to the relationship long enough to see if you two are really made for each other and what God really want it to happen. 3 years together may seem long enough for you. But I was with my Ex husband together for 7 years. We got married for 3 years and ended the whole thing in divorce. Reason? I only see the real him a month after marriage. Believe it or not, I divorced him when I was 4 months pregnant with his child so you can't imagine what i was going thru. Now, at least I felt peaceful living life with my 2 years old girl. Not fun being a single mum. Do consider again and again and again before commiting yourself into marriage. I didn't say don't marry him, but do really know him first...Best of luck!

Answer 4

in 2008 you will be 20 and 22. a lot can change in 2 years. see what happens in the next year. if you are still both in love and happy then start the planning process. i got married at 23, engaged at 18. my husband and i waited until we were out of college to get married. the engagement was a commitment to show we would stay together through school. when we got engaged people were making rude comments left and right. once they saw the love we have for each other they got over the age thing. by the time we got married we had been together 7 years. think positive, don't worry about what others thinks.

Answer 5

My husband and I were married when I was 21 & he was 23 ,and people thought we wouldn't be together long cause we were so young,but we beat the odds and have been married for 16 years now and couldn't be happier,so don't ever worry about what anyone else says,you two have been together long enough to know what your true feelings are for one another,do what your heart tells you to do,and don't let anyone stand in the way of your happiness only you and him know how you truly feel for one another.But if you do I really would suggest to take your time and enjoy each other for a few years before you rush to have any children,enjoy you to together and do the things you both want to do,before getting tied down with children.I hope the best for you two,because like I said I've been there and done that and 16 years later couldn't be any happier with my soul mate,Good Luck to you two in your future.

Answer 6

My husband was 19 and I was 21 when we got married. I feel that as long as you continue with your hopes and dreams, and not let marriage hold you back, you'll be okay. We are now 27 and 29 and we have officially been "together" for 10 years. Everything is good, and getting better! We've grown up together, therefore we've learned how to be a couple together. If anything getting married young made us much stronger!!! Don't let anything anybody tells you change your mind. Follow your heart, and make it work. Good Luck!!

Answer 7

You are not too young to get married as long as you are ready to take a very defficult role in your life, being a mother and a wife/ at the same time a professional. If you are not ready for these challenges, don't get marriage yet, getting married is not yet ready for you. It's not as easy like taking hot silly and when you got hot, you'l spit out there. Remember that it takes only once in a life time vow. Avoid a broken family because some of these were resulted in teenage married.

Answer 8

You're not too young. My daughter married at 19 and has been married for 3 happy years. She married for true love. My mother married at 18, and my grandmother married at 16 and was married 50 years before my grandfather passed away. It isn't the age, it is the maturity. I married at 22, and had three children before I was 28. I'm still married after 24 years. As long as you do it for love, you'll be just fine.

Answer 9

What do your parents and close friends think? Usually the people who know us best can know who is right for us whether we want to hear it or not. Is he a very mature 18? Usually girls mature faster than boys, so I would think that could be a problem. Also don't assume he will continue to mature. I think sometimes guys reach their peak at that age-and thats all you get. Don't expect him to change anything. Do you love him just the way he is and can you do that till death do you part? Have sought any premarital counseling? That can also bring out things you may not have considered.

Answer 10

Do not worry my nervous child, my parademonds will arrive bya boot tube and will make the earth tremble to any one that doubts you and your relationship!!. On the real...i am 24 years old and i have been in a 7 years relationship, we been leaving together for 5 years and have a 2 year kid, she's 20 years old right now, and right now we are temporaly separeted, we let our relationship get really bad, to the point that I became verbally abusive, so we decided to call it quits for now, till I change because I want my family back, and she does wants me back, but 1st I need to change. What Im tryin to say is this, please. please do not have any kids like the 1st 5 years of you marriage, dont get me wrong I love my kid, but when you get together this CHANGE, alot, but is up to both of you to make them change for the better, let me ask you a question...how long you been engage? have you thought of being at least in a 3-5 year engagement? that way both of you guys will see how serious it is, look lisent to everybody,m but you only know what's best for you, but please if you decided to get married, DO NOT let you relationship get as bad as i got mine to be ok? Hopefully this helps you, and hopefully I can get my family back