I cheated because he neglected me to spend more time with his friends (all girls), i got jealous. he left me and doesnt want me back. says he needs space. but im worried that too much space will lead to him moving on? we were together for two and a half years. please help. i realy love him and made a mistake. i know he still loves me too.
2006-10-29 17:54:42 · 15 answers · asked by Claudette D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you shouldnt have cheated if you loved him so much and you shouldve talked to him about your problems instead of cheating. do you really think he deserves you?
2006-10-29 17:59:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly! I'd say that you should move on. It's not your fault as much as it is his! He neglected you in the first place. When love hurts, it won't work. I am a man and I know for a fact that most guys are just after a lady in order to fulfill their lusts no matter for how long they are with you. Love occurs seldomly. He started with this whole problem and you ended it by doing what you thought was best.
I have a friend who went out with a guy for 7 years. They recently broke up for about 3 weeks now. She never let her heart or mind stay with him but she moved on and said that they would never be the same again. I think that what she done was right. He left her and so she just moved on to the next best thing who was a close friend and whom she knows will treat her with respect and be there for her.
There is no reason for you to take him back. Give him the time he needs but do not let him walk over you again if he feels that he needs someone who can fulfill his desire for lust or just use you when he is lonely again. In other words, don't let him play with you and continuously shatter your heart. Remember that he first started it because a guy/girl in a relationship does not go out with other girls/guys when they have a steady partner.
I loved someone a long time ago and when I realised what had happened between us I let it go although it was tough. She never even felt for me anymore and we eventually just grew apart. I never asked myself what was wrong with me but rather said to myself that it was her loss. She eventually just grew to be a memory. Since then I've been with many more ladies and thus far have not yet found the right one. They just come and go. Love is like Russian roulette but unlike the roulette you will eventually come out a winner if you play your cards right.
Do not also try and do something to make him jealous for you might just be wasting your time. Remeber that there are a lot more fishes in the sea and one of them might be Mr. right. Do not get hooked on one and expect it to be perfect. Move on and if he wants you back then you should put him through a test with others in order to take him back. He will have to earn your love for true love is tough to find.
2006-11-02 09:38:34 · answer #2 · answered by John B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you are a mature, outgoing, hard-working woman, while your partner, on the other hand, is self-absorbed and seems to think that he can do as he pleases and then expect you to be there to cover him. Well, I don't mean to sound harsh, but that's exactly what you have been showing him. You taking him back over and over is the reason why he will just run off out of nowhere. (it's not your fault that he leaves, it's him) The fact that you keep taking him back makes him think that you are at his disposal. To be quite honest, it seems as though he is a jerk. I don't mean to sound insulting, but that's what he has come across as. Anyway, I think that you should go out and try to meet some men that have their heads on straight, you know? One of my mates' mums actually just finished a divorce and now she's with an optometrist!!!!! It seems as though you are too good for this "tosser." You don't deserve the way he treats you, and although you may still love him and you are the mother of his children, you really should start pushing towards your own happiness, my dear. You've given life and limb for this man for what? Only so he can kick you to the curb again? You deserve soooooo much better. You're a hard working mother of two. He's still unemployed? About his family, to Hell with them. (excuse my french) They're not in this fiasco between your partner and you. They don't know what's going on. You are not to blame for anything!!!! All they know is what he tells them. And THAT IS WHY they always blame you. You partner seems to do a lot of the blaming, so it makes perfect sense that his family blames you because they listen to and believes his rantics. My general advice is to try and move on, get out of the relationship (i know it will be hard, especially with two young children) and try to meet a man that will take care of you and that will love you and support you and one that will not hurt you. You deserve better than what you have now. You just have to get out there and find it. I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck!!!! Cheers JH
2016-05-22 06:53:34 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, lets say he takes you back. Do you really for one second think things are going to be butterflies and roses and do you think his attitude of neglecting you will change?
There is no point in holding onto something that didn't work out the first time. He is not going to change and you are most probably going to end of doing the same thing to him again.
I know you regret what you did, but he will never trust you again and he will always be suspicious of you and he wont change his attitude of neglecting. Think about it. Is he really worth it?
Think of why you cheated on him in the first place, try to regain those feelings.When you realise why it didnt work out, you will be able to see that once it doesnt work out it never will.
2006-10-29 18:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by Jade22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cheated because of neglect, sorry to say but he's not going to change. I would forget him and move on....I know easier said than done, but in the long run you will be much happier when you find someone who does want to spend time with you.
2006-10-29 18:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by ne_patriots2005 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds like you are both into swinging, and not monogamos, which is a good thing, but you need to talk it out, tell him you want to have another girl over for a 3 some, then a guy, and see how he reacts to that, if not he will never trust you again, so this is the only way I see to get him back...
2006-10-29 18:02:43 · answer #6 · answered by wizzard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fact is if he is anything like me it is over. he will never take you back. the fact is in his mind you cheated once so you will probably do it again. he is going to move on and I don't see a way of fixing what you did. For alot of men, you did somethign that is worse that murdering him and it is a pain that does not heal or go away.
2006-10-29 18:01:18 · answer #7 · answered by daggermouth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
0ne can't love to order. it is your mistake. you have to accept that. not everyone can be so magnanimous to accept your mistake and pretend everything is all normal again. give him space. he demands it- so he probably really needs it.
i feel it is you who is afraid to move on. but i suppose if you can show you are still sincere about things, then there might be a chance you can convince him. just don't pin too much hope. it is never nice to be hurt.
2006-10-29 17:57:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anna D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go buy an old Dolorian. Then create a flux capaciter, and install it on your Dolorian. Buy Plutonium from some terrorist and use it to fuel the flux capaciter. Then drive 88mph, and go back in time and somehow stop yourself from cheating on him without actually meeting yourself.
2006-10-29 18:00:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't make a mistake; you made a decision, and that decision was that fulfilling your own needs was more important than staying faithful to him and trying to talk things over. Cheaters always get what they deserve.
2006-10-29 17:59:22 · answer #10 · answered by supensa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't take you back either if you cheated... sorry It sounds like your ex has too much pride to take a cheater back, He left you for it and it would be stupid to go back..
2006-10-29 18:00:30 · answer #11 · answered by channille 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋