Who raised you? And what was your experience?

Question

My wife and I are having a baby and we're trying to weigh the pros and cons of working vs. being a stay-at-home mom or dad. Many people have said that staying home is the best thing to do for a kid, but I would like to hear about people's actual experiences growing up. I'm especially interested in hearing from adults who were raised by working parents.

If your parents worked when you were a kid, who watched after you during the day? How did you feel about that? Do you think that it affected how close you are with your parents?

Answer 1

I had so many baby sitters that I lost count. I totally recommend your wife stay's with her child at least until he or she goes to school or when they start going to school have her get a part time job.You dont know how much I wanted my mother to be with me. My mom and I have a really good relationship, but it would of been better to have her around. My mother was also a single mom, so it was very hard for her. Especially cause my dad wouldnt give her any childsupport.

Answer 2

When I was little about 6 my mother started to work and my father was in the Air Force, so we didn't see much of either of them. When I was about 8 my mom left work to raise me and my sister. It was a good thing because it felt like there was at least one parent around if you had a problem. Today I have a wonderful relationship with my mom, I can tell her anything. As for my father, after retiring from the Air Force he went to work at a nuclear power plant and worked nights while i was in high school and he missed out on alot of things. Today we have a fairly good relationship, but not that strong. I know in my heart that he did what he thought was right for the family by working all the time, and I respect him for that, cause we never went without. I personally think that it is totally up to you and your wife what you do. If one of you is willing to quit working to stay home then that is great, but keep in mind that sometimes you can be a stay at home parent and can smoother the child to the point that they will hate you for it. Good luck!! and Congrats!!

Answer 3

I was raised by mom and stepdad. My mom is a seamstress and has her own business. My mom was always home when I came home from school and she was very active at my school. She often help in my class when I was in elementary school and in middle and high school she attended all my activities. My parents have always been very supportive. My husband and I are working parents but we still manage to go to the children events at school. I work at a job that gives ample pto and a flexible schedule so I am able to go on most of the trips and help out quite a bit. The only regret that I have is that my youngest son had to be put into daycare at 15 months when none of my other children did. Luckily for me, I picked a very good daycare program and when my son graduated from pre-school is was reading, writing and is advanced in his studies. Believe me when I say that although it is hard at times being a working parent it is feasible and it is not impossible to balance working and being a parent. Although I would prefer to stay home. Congratulations and good luck.

Answer 4

My grandmother raised me. She worked all night, came home, got me off to school, and then went to bed. We didn't have a choice, because she was the only adult in our house, and her paycheck put food on the table and nine times out of ten kept the lights on (not always the case.) If one partner can afford to, it's great to have a parent home with the child, or if possible to set up work schedules so that one parent is always home.

Answer 5

The amount of time that parents spend with their kids in this country has gone UP, not down, recently. (See "Raising Our Kids," below)

My mom was a single parent who was not well mentally. Sadly, I spend a lot of time without my mother at home, and even when she was, she was frequently not mentally present. Still, it was not so much her PHYSICAL absence which harmed me so much as it was her MENTAL absence.

I am very confident that this is so.

Furthermore, I believe that a HAPPY and fulfilled parent is generally speaking a better parent than an UNHAPPY parent. Therefore, I hope that you will encourage your wife to do what makes her most happy.

Answer 6

My mom raised me, because my father wasn't there, I turned out ok, I am a daddy's girl, because my father means the world to me, but my mom did alot for me and my two sister's so I do thank her. Right now my husband is working and I am taking care of my son, so I think the mother should raise the child, because I think the guy is the dependent one, and can bring home more money for the family.

Answer 7

My mother was a SAHM but had very POOR Parenting skills, her form of parenting was constant criticism and emotional abuse. My father was a violent alcoholic who's form of discipline was beatings. By the time I was 16 I had suffered a broken nose, broken skull, nerve and muscle damage to the left side of my face not to mention the scars on the upper parts of both legs from his belt. I was a working mother, my form of parenting was with patience and consistency. I rewarded my daughter's good behavior and did not give attention to her when she did not behave. I raised my daughter, I gave her the values she has now at 20, not the day care center. I was there for every milestone in her life I volunteered for school talent shows, school plays, school musical productions. I was an emancipated teen and was on my own at 17. Neither of my parents fought my emancipation, in fact my mother was glad to get rid of me...I was a "bad" influence on my younger sister in that I was independent and made my own choices concerning my life. Conversely me the working mom and my daughter are still very close, she lives with me still. Closeness with one's parents doesn't hinge on whether their parents worked or not, it hinges on the TYPE of parenting they get. Beatings and constant emotional abuse from a father and a Stay at home mom is NOT better than unconditional love, support and guidance from both working parents.

Answer 8

I unfortunatly was raised in a broken home. My father abused my mother untill she left him when I was four years old. When I was older I moved in with my father for 4 years. I was horribly abused in my time there. However I could not bring myself to do something to him. I have anger issues tho none to the effect of violent outburts. I have never gotten in a fight, I work at a 5 star resort. I decided it was ultimatly up to me how my destiny would turn out.

Answer 9

my dad raised me it was affecting our relationship ever since i was a baby mom had work evenat the hospital! we arent close and my dad and i meet every weekend with my kids

Answer 10

I was raised by my grandmother.... I learned more from her than from my own mother.....

even learned to cook a meal on an iron when we had no stove working....

your sister,
Ginger,
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