my bf told me he was going to visit his aunt, but i called her and she said he wasn't there. so when he got back i told him about this and he tried to tell me more lies. but i wouldnt be quiet until i got the truth from him. he wanted to go out with his friends. and now i think every word he says is a lie. we've been together for 9 months and i feel so lonely without him. what should i do. forgive him or leave him? what would you do?
2006-10-29 17:15:56 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe you are smothering him if he feels he has to lie to go out with his friends once in a while. If that's the case you will loose him. If you and him are meant to be it will happen but in the mean time no one wants to tie their self up to just one person and never be able to have a friendship with any one else. Love doesn't mean severing all ties with other people that were your friend before you came around.
2006-10-29 17:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He was probably afraid to tell you that he wanted to go out with his friends.
Agree with Candamoose to a degree, but don't think quite as strongly.
Think you need to assure him that it is OK that he has his own life, and that you merely want to be a part of it.
9 months is around the time where relationships start to get "real" and maybe the two of you have been spending a lot of time together...more than what a relationship that "hits its stride" so to speak would allow.
Talk to him about it, don't dump him over it.
2006-10-29 17:23:56 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The bonds of trust are hard to rebuild. There really is no one person who can tell you if you should stay or go. But once the bond has been broken chances are it'll never be fixed.
But before you make a decision you need to find out why he lied to you and see if he still deserves you.
2006-10-29 17:20:27 · answer #3 · answered by oneprtndr 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would leave him unless he had a major break-through and decided he would rather be honest and communicate. If he cannot be honest with you it will never work. Be thankful its only been 9 months. If there is no trust, the relationship is never going to work.
I wouldn't say it's totally hopeless but be sure some very important fundamental changes are made before going forward.
best of Luck,
~T~
2006-10-29 17:20:30 · answer #4 · answered by ~*bUtteRFy~*~kISSeS*~ 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
OH COME ON!! Cut the man some damn slack, woman! If he's scared to tell you that he went out with some of his friends, you're obviously too controlling. Tell him it's OK to hang with his friends. Do you seriously not trust him that much that you need to know where he is 24 freaking 7?
TRUST THE MAN. AND FORGIVE ONE LITTLE WHITE LIE.
2006-10-29 17:19:39 · answer #5 · answered by canadamoose22 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Apparently it is easier for a woman to stay with a man who has cheated but who has told the truth about it as compared to the liar who hasn`t cheated but who has been caught in a lie.
Is this true?
2006-10-29 17:26:12 · answer #6 · answered by pscassidy100 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately if you have the kind of relationship with him where he needs to lie to go out with his friends, you don't have a very good relationship, and you should just find a new bf who respects you enough to be honest with you. I'm guessing if he had been honest you would have let him spend time with them. Do you know he was out with his friends, or could he have been out with some other girl? You might have heard the old saying, "Fool me once - shame on you, Food me twice, shame on me" Find a bf who is deserving of your trust.
2006-10-29 17:22:47 · answer #7 · answered by Jim V 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe he is feeling suffocated in the relationship and needs to have some space and doesn't know how to tell you truthfully.
If he can't be truthful to you now, that won't change and will likely get worse. Do you honestly want that in your relationship? I would hope not.
2006-10-29 17:21:41 · answer #8 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You get lonely of a liar? If he continues to lie to you, dump him. He's just going to get worse. Try to forgive him, but leave him. It doesn't make any sense to love someone who lies just to get out of trouble with you. Get away from him. Besides, 9 months ain't really long. Good thing you found out about his lying ways now instead of years later.
2006-10-29 17:23:46 · answer #9 · answered by Chris 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
One thing i cant stand is a liar. i would'nt believe anything he says only because that was nothing to lie about, he could have told you the truth, that would have saved him a lot of confusion. So if he'll lie about going out lord forbid if its something worse, you can forget it.
2006-10-29 17:21:07 · answer #10 · answered by robin p 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋