What should I say when confronting my boyfriend about cheating?

Question

I am planning on having a conversation with my boyfriend tomorrow about him possibly cheating on me, not cheating like sex, but having mental emotional contact with another woman. I have found a few things I believe could mean he is and am worried he will take things further. I love him very much and I just don't know how to approach this. My communication skills aren't the greatest.

Answer 1

Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. I've been there, and it's so painful. I would just start out with letting him know you want to take some time to have a talk with him. When you talk to him, don't try to sound accusitory, or hostile, because that will shut him down and you won't get the answers you need. Just tell him that you care about him, but you have reason to believe he might have feelings for another girl. Tell him why you have some of those suspicions. Let him know that you don't hate him, but you want to know the truth, because you and he need to make some decisions about how to move on from here. Tell him that you're going to trust his answer, and that if he tells you he doesn't have feelings for her, that you are going to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he admits he DOES have feelings for her, then you need to find out from him what his intentions are --if he wants his freedom to pursue those feelings, or if he wants to try to work things out with you. If he says he wants to work things out with you, then you need to start laying down some ground rules. He needs to stay away from this person. That means no contact that isn't absolutely necessary. (ex: if he works with her.) If he indicates that he might want to pursue something with her, or says that he's not sure what he wants to do, then I would consider ending the relationship. Trust me, there is nothing more painful than trying to be in a relationship with a man that is hung up on another woman. And you NEVER win in that situation. Best wishes to you--I hope things turn out for the best for you.

Answer 2

I like the fact that you are going to ask a question instead of jumping to stupid conclusions, smart girl you are. My 10 question method should help you follow just as and everything would be in order and you won't forget what to ask or when.
1. You should ask him if he loves you.
2. Tell him how you feel about him being completely honest about your feelings.
3. Ask him how he feels about the relationship.
4. Ask him if he is satisfied with the relationship
5. Even if he is satisfied or not ask him if there was something that needed to be improved in the relationship what would that be.
6. Then share what you think could be improved.
7. Tell him how you feel about the way he has been acting because if he is having feelings for someone else he would act sort of out of it or just plain stupid.
8. Tell him of your suspicions and tell him how it makes you feel.
9. Then you ask him to make a decision not giving him too much time to think about it if anything 24 hours and if he takes too long you know what his answer is.
10. Lastly make your own decision because it isn't nice to feel less than a woman when your man is looking at someone else. Now this is a hard thing that you are going to do and I am sure that you know this as well as the risks. Be strong and ask all the questions that you need to be answered to live at peace. I hope that your suspicions are wrong and good luck.

Answer 3

I guess I have such a low tollerance of people who "do" cheat, I don't have room in my life for anything but honesty. If I thought my significant other were cheating or close to it, I would simply say this. I have something to say, so please don't interupt while I talk, okay? I care about you, and I hope that by "now" you feel the same. However I feel you may be involved or at least "partially involved with someone else. "If" this is the case, we're through, because when it comes to relationships, I am priceless, and a really good person who won't be second best, to "anyone." So be honest right now with me, are you, or are you "not" involved with another woman? Then go from there. Good luck.

Answer 4

Doesn't matter what you say because he will probably deny it no matter what. Men are liars! What you should really be asking is how do I tell my boyfriend that I no longer will tolerate his cheating and that I am breaking up with him. My answer to that would be just be straight forward and honest. Tell him that you are aware of his cheating ways and that you will not allow yourself to be manipulated or hurt. Give him some time, he may come around. Then, your question will be how do I trust him again. Better yet, move on. Cheaters never prosper. Good luck to you!

Answer 5

Talk with him openly and honestly so that your feelings are clearly understood. Communication is extremely important in any relationship and don't worry about speaking eloquently - just say what you need to say. You aren't trying to impress anyone with your communication skills. If the two of you truly love each other this problem can be solved quickly and you can get on with the business of living.

Answer 6

Just sit down and explain what you know....not what you suspect. Let him explain his side of the story. Be sure you dont accuse him. Ask him if he is in a mental or emotional relationship. Those can sometimes be harder to overcome.

Answer 7

Do your best. You are right, once something like that gets started, it usually does go further. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

be frank and tell him how you feel in a calm way!!! if he will understand you and explain to you in a nice way that means his not doing anything wrong, if he get angry it simply means his guilty!!! tell him how much he means to you that you don't want to end up your relationship and your just asking him those things because you just want him to be honest with you!!! but remember... in a very calm way!!!

Answer 9

KEEP IT TO YOURSELF...
BREAK HIM OFF SUM OF DAT GOOD STUFF....
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING!!!