What's wrong with me?

Question

Everytime a relationship ends I blame myself no matter what happens because I think things turned out the way the did because I wasn't pretty enought,or attentive enough or just not good enough in general.I don't see how it could always be my fault but it just feels that way.Whenever a guy hurts me I don't confront him because I'm just too proud to even acknowledge that he was able to hurt me so I walk away and if it's something small I don't even mention it to him.Why do I have such trouble admiting that I actually care about someone and that they can hurt me?

Answer 1

Wait a minute...seems you are shouldering responsibility long before it's time to figure it all out. As you said, when things head south, you immediately take the blame - why?
Then you say when a guy hurts you, you're too proud to confront because you're too proud to even admit he was able to hurt you?
On the one hand you say you're not good enough, then in the same breath you say you're too proud. These two emotions or characteristics run counter to each other. How could you be not good enough (to use your own words) and then also be too proud to confront someone?
Sounds to me like you're afraid to commit to a relationship. You're quick to accept blame for not measuring up ( a catch-all to wiggle out of a relationship that maybe headed towards something on the serious side). In fact you're willing to accept the fault as being your short-coming to make it easier to bail out of the relationship. Then you claim you're too proud to confront him, which is another way of saying I really don't want to know the truth, I'm willing to just walk away instead of pinning down the exact reason for the failed relationship. I don't want to know if it's something that we can fix, I just want out of this relationship heading towards something serious.
Bottom line is you are afraid of commitment. Ask yourself why. I imagine you are an attractive, witty, smart person that dones't own up to your own attributes. Some self-analysising is in order here. Good luck

Answer 2

we can only control our attitude but not things or situation outside us. if sometimes things dont work out or some people did not react the way we wanted them to doesnt mean that there is something wrong with us.

u have to remember that every individual has different character, likes or dislikes, views in life or just personality. so u have to think that if things didnt work with ur relationship it does not mean to say there is something wrong with u or with ur partner.

it will help to think that we have indifferences and this are the obstacle in any kind of relationship. imagine two different kind of personality trying to get involve and live their life together. that's where fighting and hurting comes in.

if we only learn to adjust and expect a little, things will work but of course its not just on ur side. relationship works if both of u would want to.

our own ego and pride always gets in the way. this are the reason why we are afraid to admit and accept because we dont like to get hurt or disaappointed. but if u realize that giving so much to the relationship and ending up with nothing in the end will satisfy us instead of not doing anything at all. coz it is much better that u have done ur best in any given situation and we put it in gods hands and if in the end it didnt work out it only mean that it was not really meant to be.

just be thankful that u were given the chance to know and love that person , accept that it was not ur fault or ur partners fault, forget blaming anybody. focus on the positive side of what happened to u. like it's gud thing that u have seen ur indifferences as early before u have gotten into a long and deep relationship that it will hurt u more. imagine if u got married to a person then u have many kids already and that's the only time u end of separating because u cant settle ur indifferences, the situation will be more hurting and devastating not only to u but to kids as well. so just accept what happened then move on and think that god has a better plan for u. then wait for the perfect person u will feel gud andcan be happy to be with

always think positive and if u have things that still hurts u - give urself time to adjust to the situation dont hurry things to heal just make urself busy then apply the motto of NEVER MIND - remember that we give power to our problems or negative emotions by just thinking about it even u know that being sad, blaming urself, finding fault to anybody, fighting, fear and guilt feelings will not help solve or change the situtaion or ur problem.
its ur choice to be happy or sad, guilty or not because u can only choose the way u feel but u cant choose the way others will react on u.

this are just obstacles that stop us from moving on and creating and finding peace of mind and happiness in ur heart.

Answer 3

you are in denial and your also someone that internalise hurt ..... ie try to quit blaming yourself for other peoples decisions remember their are things that u have absolutely no control over .. and there are things that u can change.. sort out the difference between them and u will stop hurting over stuff u cant control .. secondly find friends that will help u improve the way u see yourself as your self esteem needs a major boost ..your beauty, attentiveness etc is not the reason for failure of relationships .. so be positive and think highly of yourself. see if this poem can help you too especially the second to last verse.. best o luck ... strive to be happy ..

Answer 4

I seems like you have low self esteem. You have to feel good about yourself first before getting into a relationship. Also, don't be afraid to communicate your feelings even if they are negative. Expression of our feelings makes a relationship work, trust me. Remember, humans are not mind readers. In conclusion, find out what is making you unhappy and work on it. Don't depend on someone else to make you happy.

Answer 5

you've got low self esteem. that is why you blame yourself, you have a hard time confronting issues, and you can't reveal your true feelings. when you start to like yourself more and accept you for who you are, you will be able to do the right things for you.

Answer 6

Because you DONT care. If you did you wouldn't keep it inside. You would act on it. That's why the relationship ends in the first place.

Answer 7

Its all part of it. Unfortunate but true...... When you do find that right guy, all the crap youve gone through is going to make him all the more special to you..... Someday you will have it.... just hang in there...

Answer 8

It's the way you dress.....watch "what not to wear" all weekend - then go shopping. The perfect man awaits!

Answer 9

You have a mental problem! talk to your parents

Answer 10

same here gurl. idk wut to tell u really, but be careful. admit to urself and others how u really feel, cuz if u dont ull end up like me. hard and cold to the world. and hurting those u love