My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, and we know each other so well. He respects my wish to wait for sex until marriage, and we can talk about pretty much anything. I really do love him. But things are slowing down and starting to feel like they're always the same old thing. I constantly feel like he doesn't think i'm good enough now because i've put on a couple pounds, and he's even told me that he'd find me more attractive if I was thinner.
I met this other guy a long time ago and we get along very well and we've both developed feelings for each other. I think the main reason i've developed feelings for him is because I feel kind of ignored by my current boyfriend sometimes and the other guy makes me feel special.
So here's the point... I feel wrong for even talking to my friend when I know he has feelings for me too. Should I stop talking to my friend in order to make my relationship with my boyfriend more stable? I really don't want to leave my guy. I love him.
2006-10-29 14:47:38 · 12 answers · asked by Lizzie H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
all u need to know is
the sum of the squares of the legs is equal to the square of the hypotenuse
2006-10-29 14:50:48 · answer #1 · answered by coolpotatoeslive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I read the question/statement correctly, this other guy has been around ? Doesn't matter. I say that the very reason you are open to new guy is that your boyfriend makes you feel insecure. I see red flags all over. The distance is growing, he has made comments about your weight and the new guy is looking better ? I would guess that if it isn't over with boyfriend now, that It would end soon. I just have one question though . Were things rough between you guys before " other guy'' either came around or started showing interest ? Either way, I think boyfriend is a doomed path. Go for new guy. I think you want to, it's just that you feel guilty.
2006-10-29 22:59:43 · answer #2 · answered by rock d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When girls do it, they call it a love triangle and are told to follow their heart. When guys do it, they are called players.
Do your boyfriend a favor, let him know the effect that his words ("...lose weight...") and actions (same-old same-oh) have on you. Also, don't assume that he feels your not good enough. Women oftentimes incorrectly jump to that conclusion. Ask him directly. And give him the respect and first chance to do something about it to keep you. If that fails, then break up with him and save both of you the future agony.
If you got tired of the first guy, maybe that's the kind of person you are and this new guy will go the same way.
2006-10-29 22:57:57 · answer #3 · answered by diesel_pusher2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok watever u do DON'T STOP TALKING WITH YOUR FRIEND!!!!!!! everyone always needs a friend there for you......now a friend that has feelings towards you and that is always there for u when u needthat friend makes it even better......now if u really love him more than the other guy and he loves u then i would give it sometime to figure out who to "choose"....if the other guy is still ignoring u and tells u things on how to be more atttractive then he doesn't accept u for who u are .......and its probably not even JUST you....he might also have some bad things about him too....if a guy trully loves u ten he loves u whether u are fat or skinny or short ....a guy that loves u for who u are is trully the "one" for u......if the other guy makes u feel like the only woman on earth that he would ever love then go with him....don't let the current guy make u feel fat or lesser than him......make the smart choice and go for the one that makes u feel special no matter watever or however u look like.....good luck!
2006-10-29 22:55:29 · answer #4 · answered by *Cutie* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it was rude of him saying your more attractive when you were thinner if he loved you the way you are he wouldn't have commented about your weight,if hes drifting from you cause of that then tell him to take a drift.
the other guy still makes you feel special even if you have gained a few pounds,obviously hes not looking for just a barbie figure.lol
follow your heart it tells you no wrong lol
best of luck
2006-10-29 22:59:18 · answer #5 · answered by smiley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you put on a couple of pounds? What is he going to do if you get married and become pregnant? That's much more than a couple of pounds. You could say to him- I hope I still like you if you (meaning yr bf) put on a few pounds, and then he what he says. Maybe he'll think it over.
2006-10-29 22:53:02 · answer #6 · answered by regwoman123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being attracted to someone other than your mate is normal. Anyone one who says "I've never been...." is lying.
If you truly love your man and have no doubts, then stay with him. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.
2006-10-29 22:53:19 · answer #7 · answered by RollTideRoll 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why stay with a guy that doesn't have unconditional love for you? If your guy truly loved you, a few pounds wouldn't make a bit of difference to him.
2006-10-29 22:53:30 · answer #8 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this happened wid me too..wenver i was around my bf..i used to have a strange feeling tat i wasnt good enuf for him,,he never complimented me or anything!! but i loveD him.. and yea same as urs..his COUSIN had feelings for me for past 3 yrs.. he made me feel special but i dint like him.. okay now u.. u said tat ur realtionship is slowing down..rite..?? its all because u wont let him have sex..same wid my bf..i didnt let him have sex so he chated on me..! and plz dunt blame urself for this.. if he doesnt appreciate u then leave him!! seriously..its for ur better life! trust me..i went thru all this!!!!!!!!
2006-10-29 22:53:59 · answer #9 · answered by meee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been there before. you just have to remember how your boyfriend made you feel when you two first met. talk to your boyfriend and let him know how you feel. if you're willing to give up on him so quick then you don't really love him.
2006-10-29 22:53:05 · answer #10 · answered by Stacey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋