Tonight my husband and I took our daughters out to eat. My seventeen month old kept turning around and smiling at a man who was making faces at her a few tables back. I more than once told her to turn around and eat, yet he kept making faces and she kept turning around. I know he could hear me telling her to sit still and eat- is it not proper ettiquette to quit making faces and distracting the child under such circumstances?
2006-10-29 14:32:39 · 30 answers · asked by Jennifer F 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It's not that it was upsetting that he thought my daughter was cute. But after 45 minutes of trying to get her to eat and being unable to eat my own meal because I kept having to get her to turn around it got a little old. She would have stopped turning around if he would have stopped making the faces and other people in the restaurant were shooting me nasty looks because she kept turning around. It's nice he thought she was cute, but it wasn't just HER meal he was interfering with-it was mine and the other people dining around us as well.
2006-10-29 14:58:35 · update #1
The point I'm trying to make is that if you were standing in line at a grocery store and a child asked for a candy bar and their mother said no- you wouldn't dare dream of buying them candy anyway because you are going against their mother's authority. He heard me tell her to turn around, yet he kept encouraging her not to do so. There's a difference between thinking a kid is cute and making faces and having fun and disrespecting that child's parents by going against what you hear them asking their child to do.
2006-10-29 15:04:31 · update #2
It would have been best if he had stopped making faces but sometimes people cant resist doing things around children.
2006-10-29 14:35:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The guy was just being nice.
I don't understand why you would take a young child like that to a public place and then complain about her wanting to interact with people. If this really bothers you, than don't take her to places with other people around or learn how to teach her to listen to you.
If your child doesn't do what you tell her maybe you need to work on your parenting skills. Nothing personal against you, but I see way too many parents blaming everybody else for what their kids do. Bottom line...tell her to sit down and not turn around. If she does it again - pack up your crap and leave and tell her she can't go next time because of her behavior. There has to be a consequence for bad behavior. It doesn't need to be severe but it needs to make an impression so that it teaches her that you will not tolerate ignoring the rules.
2006-10-30 09:01:49 · answer #2 · answered by jarhed 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being too strict. Life is all about making connections with other people. Not eating. If your child can learn and appreciate this great skill at such an early age - all the better for her in knowing how to socialize and interact with others in the future. Right now these activities that seem like just "fun" are helping to develop and build up her self-esteem.
As for the food a toddler knows much better than an adult unfortunately how much food she needs to eat to survive. They eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full. She is not going to let herself starve for the sake of playing back with a human being who showed interest in her happiness. The repercussions on the other hand however of force feeding a child is having the child grow up with unnatural feelings about food and often becoming obese.
I'm not saying all this to be mean. I am a mom of 3. By the 3rd one I learned to "lighten up!" and he's perfectly healthy.
God bless you & your family!
2006-10-29 22:47:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think your little girl was knowingly being rude, and neither was the face-making man. My guess is, he probably thought it was a cute game. You could, the next time something like this happens, gently explain to the other person that it is distracting to others.
In addition, expecting one-and-a-half year olds to sit still and focus for forty five minutes may be unreasonable, as they just aren't old enough to have it in them. Consider what your child can realistically handle when it comes to eating out. And don't feel guilty if you need to get a sitter. It will make life easier for everyone involved.
2006-10-30 13:05:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, the man was behind your child. The faces could only be seen by your child when she turned around. You didn't say he was calling to her or making any sounds to get her attention. If I see a cute child turning to look in my direction, I too, will smile or wave. Little ones are too irresistible not to interact with them. Perhaps the man was a father on a business trip and sorely missed seeing the face of his own little one. Lighten up.
2006-10-29 22:45:27 · answer #5 · answered by north79004487 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Eat your food then play? then apologize for your child's squirming around. he was just trying to be nice (like smiling)
It won't hurt a kid if the see a friendly face once in while
2006-10-29 23:09:14 · answer #6 · answered by maddsk8 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'm sure your daughter was just curious. after the first two or three times that you told her to turn around and eat, the man probably shouldn't have encouraged her, but people do love to see little kids smile. even though it was frustrating for you which i can understand, i bet it was a fun time for your little girl.
2006-10-29 22:39:13 · answer #7 · answered by Meg 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its a free world. You should be happy that other people think highly of your daughter. I was always proud when in the same circumstance. You need to lighten up a little.
2006-10-29 22:55:53 · answer #8 · answered by K.O. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If Mickey Mouse was sitting behind her, would you be mad at Mickey? or would Mickey have to go sit some where else
Tell her "the man has to eat his food too. Don't get him in trouble"
My wife tells me to turn around and eat so I don't get kids in trouble, and I do
2006-10-29 22:55:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sure, he should have stopped, but he didn't. As your daughter gets older you will have more time to explain why she should turn around and ignore the nice man playing with her....but at 17 months, she's just a baby, and probably a cutie, and as the mother of three girls myself....let it go. Somethings just arn't that important.
2006-10-29 22:43:32 · answer #10 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋