my partner is always angry and starts arguments every weekend and says nasty things like im a ******* idiot and is always saying im stupid when we argue i want to leave but he wont let me out the door or tips my clothes out of my bag and he takes my phone so i cant make a call he has never hit me but i fell scared to leave cause we have two small children aged 5 and 2 and he has no idear how to look after them cause his never home ive really had enough, is it abuse that he does that then the next day his at work and talks to me like nothing happened its like that all week then back to the same on weekends what should i do?
2006-10-29 14:30:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Absolutely it is abuse! you should leave when he's not there. WOW! Talk about a control freak! Life's too short for that kind of drama. People are in relationships for all the wrong reasons a lot these days. Think about yourself! Time for you to be SELFISH! Worry about what makes you happy. Don't let that fool control you. Advise him in a letter (not to his face) that he should seek serious help.
Good luck sweety.
~T~
2006-10-29 14:47:23 · answer #1 · answered by ~*bUtteRFy~*~kISSeS*~ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. That is abuse. Verbal abuse can be just as hurtful as physical abuse. It can also be long lasting. You have to decide what is best for you and the children and no one can make that choice for you. But, keep this in mind...do not be surprised if your children end up like him. They hear and see this stuff and it will mold them one way or the other. Also, for whatever reason he has little respect and love for you. When we love people we don't do or say things to hurt them. Most people have a hard time accepting this because they want to believe that things can work. If you ask me...I would be gone tonight. Life is to short. I was in a similar situation once. Now I am free and could not be happier. If he is not "allowing" you to leave then start planning your departure now. What I mean is this...save for an apartment or make arrangements with your parents or other relatives. Be sure they understand the drama that might come with you leaving. Buy a prepaid cellphone if he is taking yours. Start moving your clothes to your "new" location secretly, little by little. Finally talk to the police about getting an escort, if needed. You may want to consider talking to your pastor or clergy if you are a church goer.
Take care and good luck
2006-10-29 22:46:38 · answer #2 · answered by SUPERMAN 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes there is such a thing as verbal abuse. If you feel it is that bad, If you are that scared and you want to leave, Do it! Wait until he is at work or something so that he can not stop you. You don't want to stay in such unhealthily relationship. You owe it to yourself and your children to get out of that bad situation before it could go any farther. You don't need to have someone putting you down like that. And when there are small children involved it is abuse to them as well. Don't do that to your children. No man is worth it. I would ask for close friends and family for emotion support because it is a hard situation and you are going to need all the advice and support you can get. Good luck
2006-10-29 22:46:33 · answer #3 · answered by laura f 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes. I am very surprised that You are even verbalizing this as a question. Of course it is abuse. It is emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. Picking fights. Calling You names. Making You feel like You could not make it without Him. He is controlling and very insecure. That is one area of abuse. He crossed the line by not allowing You to leave Your house, by blocking the door, and taking Your phone. Those are Criminal Offenses. You have to ask Yourself, is it getting worse as time passes? So here is My suggestion, take Your Children to a safe place, one that He will not know where they are. Invite Him to a place where You will have lots of back up, including many very Large Male Family or Church Members. Tell Him that either He gets counseling, NOW, or You will file charges against Him. Then You live elsewhere until You feel that He has complied and changed. There are many safe havens for battered Woman, and yes that includes the abuse that You are going through. It WILL only get worse, especially if it is already getting increasingly more violent and frequent. By the way sorry abusers always say they are sorry, over, and over, and over again. Until one day, they are saying it over their so called beloveds dead body, because this time they went too far.
Do it for Yourself, and Your Children.
May God Bless You All
2006-10-29 22:56:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes that is verbal, and mental abuse. The physical will follow.
It would be best if you stayed and he left. But obviously that's not gonna happen. It would be difficult for you to leave with 2 babies.
Perhaps a woman's shelter? Do you have any family that may be able to help you?
2006-10-29 22:38:39 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep.. This dude has issues. Just take off with the kids when he is at work. Give him a few weeks to iron things out.. Life is just to darn short. I lived with a chick that was similar. Roller coaster ride from hell. Is your hubby a Gemini by chance?
2006-10-29 22:43:54 · answer #6 · answered by mr.longshot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Preventing you from leaving qualifies as physical abuse.
Taking your phone directly causes you to become more dependent on him and is abuse.
Calling you names such as that, is emotional abuse.
Abuse often escalates from emotional abuse, to less intrusive physical abuse (like restraining you from leaving) to full out bad physical and emotional abuse.
You need to get out. BUT, you need to get out smart. Begin making plans with your parents if they are alive, with any friends he still lets you see that AREN"T friends with him. Make them fast, secret, for when he's not there, and hightail it out. There are shelters if you don't have the economic means to be able to support yourself and your children immediately. Check your phone book to find out if there are women's shelters or safe centers in your area, where you could talk to a professional who can help you plan a way to leave SAFELY!
2006-10-29 22:43:07 · answer #7 · answered by peacedevi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, i think it is emotional abuse and no woman should have to live through that especialy with 2 small children.i think one day when hes at work u should pack up and leave. but if ur afrade to do that ,then i think u should sit down when the kids r sleeping and talk to him and tell him how u feel about the situation.
hoped i helped!
sorry u have to deal with that!
2006-10-29 22:37:20 · answer #8 · answered by Emily 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really agree with emily, the person who answered some where above mine. I feel so strong about this, and I really hope you will do something. You deserve better. I hope you have some place you can go. This guy does not sound like a good man.
2006-10-29 22:41:02 · answer #9 · answered by free:eli 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simply yes. Nobody should not let you out and take your phone. Although tipping your stuff out of your bag isn't serious, it is fairly upsetting. He needs to seek help.
2006-10-29 23:13:15 · answer #10 · answered by oliver s 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋