I need help with my friend's cutting?

Question

I have two friends and that are 13. They both cut themselves. I feel really weird hanging out with them. I really dont know them really well ( like if any sort of depression or problems ). How can i get over that they do cut. i dont want to talk until i get over it im worried that they'll get mad at me for not talking to them because it freaks me out.

Answer 1

If you think they need help and you are their friend, you need to tell an adult.

If you are just wanting to dismiss it, than do that. Walk away.

You have an important decision to make here. If they accidently died from this, would you be ok with that on your conscience?

Answer 2

first off, great first step in actually wanting to help. to many ppl in your shoes whould have turned away by now and not have given it another though. Now, i honestly don't think you will ever be able to just 'get over' the fact that they cut. it isn't a very easy thing to just ignore. How did you find out about their cutting? That would help you decide what to do next. If they told you about it, i would suggest bringing it up with them (that is, if you can bring it up without freaking up you know?) and ask them why they do it. it is possible they are in alot of emotional pain that thye just can't deal with, or that they are doing it because it is a "fad". If you found out about the cutting by accident, you might want to still bring it up with them, or maybe just kinda hit at the idea and see what they think (about the topic of cutting). They will probably be kinda shy and akward around the subject. All in all, if you can i would say talk to them about it, be supportive, and show that you do care. There are also a few things you should NOT do.
Don't scream or raise your voice at them
Don't blame them for thier own problems (if that's why they are cutting)
don't get angry at them
Don't give any ultimatums (like: if you don't stop cutting i won't hang out with you anymore. In the end, these things never work)
Don't say they are weak or sick or crazy or stupid or anything like that. That does nothing productive and will only get them angry probably
Don't tell them they need to just "snap out of it" it isn't that easy
Don't alienate them because of this
Don't mock thier self harm

Do try to understand
ask why they hurt themselves
Be supportive, show you care and that you wil listen
Do respect thier opinions and feelings

And thier are some of these that are just obvious so i won't say them. But you get the idea. I won't say that anything you do will be easy, it won't be for anyone involve. But it would be a great thing if you did try to help them true heartdly. I would also suggest telling a school counselor about this. Your friends will likely be very pissed off at you for a while, but they will likely get the help they need, and over time they will most likely forgive you and eventually be thankful. I hope whatever you choose works. If you want some more advice you can reach me at [e-mail]. also, a great site to check out if you seriously want to help your friends is recoveryourlife.com it is a site of self harmers but it also has a lot of articles for friends of those who cut, and if you so wanted you could ask the members there for some advice. Well, good luck and keep strong!

-sarah

Answer 3

Been there , done that! Meaning I can relate . I have only cut myself once. But I occasionally self harm ( Bang my head against the wall, bitting my hands or arm , pinching) . The other people who posted are absolutely right .
I know that it's hard to get over it . There is a girl in the support group I go to that looks strange enough because she has almost everything on her face pierced. I don't know if it's related to self harm but one of arms is very badly cut up or burned. It breaks my heart to see it . I It's hard to understand why they do it . When I "throw a fit" I get violent and bang my head against the wall . When I told my therapist about it , she asked me if I felt like I was releasing stress. I said yes. There are ways to go about it .

Your friends need to get help soon . It can get worse and lead to serious injury.
Your friends might get mad for not coming to them but I understand that you are scared . Just trust your heart to help you do what is necessary to solve the problem. You probably are doing the right thing, and they will thank you for basically saving their lives.

Answer 4

After the texbook of information here already, I can tell you that people who cut often developed the behavior after being abused (usually sexual abuse) and the result of the trauma is an almost permanent effect of dissociation (feeling like you're not present in your body, or anywhere - kinda half-dead). Cutting is done to enable the person to feel again, even if it's pain. It helps to ground them in reality again and feel present in their bodies. Cutting is often associated with personality disorders as well, which also tend to stem from abuse. They need intervention but may not be able to receive it for a long time.

Answer 5

you really should talk to an adult about the issue so your friends can get the help they need. cutting is not that uncommon but it can be dangerous because some times on accident or in some cases on purpose they cut too deep or too far and can seriously injure themselves or worst, kill themselves. maybe you could talk with your parents about it, or the school nurse. a guidance councilor. school officials should keep quiet that you said anything.

Answer 6

if your a friend, talk to them straight, and let them know how you feel...if they get mad or say/do things that's not civil, then they are not your friends and avoid them completely...BUT before confronting them, do some research... go to your local library, ask about the practice of cutting; ask your county health department; do an internet search; call the suicide hotline...tell them your doing a school report.

Answer 7

You should really talk to them and tell them how you feel. If they get bad then that is really messed up, because friends aren't supposed to get mad when you tell them how you feel about something like that.

I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 8

i used to cut myself and i started when i was 14. my best friend went to the school counselor and told her. That was the best thing anyone could have done for me. she really cared about me. i was then able to get the help i needed. i scared my friends also by doing it. but they cared and stood by me and i was able to talk to them about stuff. after a year they couldn't take it and they stoped hanging out w/me
tell the school counselor. if you don't know who it is go into the office and ask to talk to the prinicple and say that you really need to talk to the counselor.

Answer 9

Without any offense thier prolly called emo and that's a way of living some emo kids cut but mostly don't well that's not an offense...
Just try to always hang with 'em even you don't want they should always be accompanied so they don't feel alone.

Answer 10

They both need to be on anti depressants and also to talk to a professional about their problems that cause them to cut to feel better. its a temp fix to cut to feel better, but it doesnt help, only makes things worse for thier self esteem, etc.....
they need to seek professional help as soon as possible. no one else could possibly understand enough about the sickness to really help them like they need to be helped. i know because my girlfriend did the same thing for a long time. she has recieved help and only does it on a rare accasion now. good luck.