There is a guy that I really like and he has told me that he really likes me. The problem is that he keeps standing me up for dates. When we are together, everything is great. He has a lot of potential that is why I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. He has treated me the way I want to be treated with the exception of the standups. I don't think that he has any other females in the picture because we have talked about that. I know that he just got out of a 8 year relationship a year agoso he said that he basically threw himself into his work. He sometimes works 16 hour days. He said that he just has to condition himself into thinking and caring about a female again. So do you think I should throw in the towel or just hang in there?? I want to hang in there but the standups are really starting to work my nerves. FYI - He says that he knows standing me up is not right and that he is definitely trying to work on it because he does care for me and wants to get closer with me.
2006-10-29 14:11:56 · 18 answers · asked by Curious_Me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give him the boot! If a guy stood me up once there better be a darn good reason, 2x's he's history.
Think about this, they are on their best behavior in the begining, if this is his best behavior...
2006-10-29 14:15:18 · answer #1 · answered by crct2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, seems like everything is in order except for the standups.
Maybe you should have a good talk with him on that. Do it in the nicest, curious kind of way..not as an attack. Find out the real cause.
Was it just a very busy schedule, or just not that interested. It may be true that he's trying to adjust his routine to fit you in. But then again, if i was really interested in a girl i would cancel my other appointments or just set another time.
So, all the best.
2006-10-29 22:23:37 · answer #2 · answered by aLTered_eGo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would again Explain to him that it is bothering you, and frankly the point in dating is to take a risk and if he's not willing to take that risk, fit you into his life, and making dates just to brake them that tells me he's not he's more into having a friend than a relationship. I would tell him and brake it off by saying I know you care about me, and I care very much about you so when your ready to commit, take the risk that comes with dating then call me until them I would love to be your friend. That way you are still in his life and giving him the space he still seems to need. I mean what can you lose you'll still be waiting but free to be with someone else if he decides to not go there.
Good luck though I wish you the best the both of you.
2006-10-29 22:22:19 · answer #3 · answered by northsidemom1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well as a guy i have stood up lots of girls mostly when there to clingy and broke. most guys are always stuck with the bill and i hate it. the girl will call me and want to go out but i have to pay. and if i like the girl how can a guy say no so we stand you up. i think for a month that you should pay the bills of dates and see how it affects you and how you act toword him..
2006-10-29 22:17:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Standing you up is definitely NOT COOL. He might be nice and all, but that is SO disrespectful. You should let him know that you're not going to tolerate that nonsense anymore. Your time is valuable, too! Tell him that if he stands you up again, you're going to take it as a message that he's not interested, and move on.
2006-10-29 22:16:34 · answer #5 · answered by Jess H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how many times he has done it. But I say slow things down give him his space and if he really wants this to work he'll notice that you are starting to get tired and he will straighten up... But if you keep allowing this to happen then he will feel comfortable doing it and it will get easier and easier each time
2006-10-29 22:17:30 · answer #6 · answered by mizz_toree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think that he has something else going on. If he really wanted to get closer to you then he would not stand you up!
2006-10-29 22:17:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say stick with him for a bit. but let him know that if he stands you up anymore, then theres no point in pursuing a more involved relation ship. if he cant show up for a date with you, then hows he going to do alot of things that a boyfriend should?
2006-10-29 22:15:40 · answer #8 · answered by Sam16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him the three strike rule, after that cut him loose. Explain that it takes work to make a relationship work, ask him is he ready to go to work????
2006-10-29 22:15:32 · answer #9 · answered by Katherine C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A. He has no respect for you or
B. He is trying to manipulate you
Conclusion: dump him - he isn't the fine person he is pretending to be. It will just get worse.
2006-10-29 22:17:55 · answer #10 · answered by Michael da Man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋