Is slight spanking ok as one of disciplinary tools for my child?

Question

My daughter is 1 yr & 6 mos. And begins to show her tantrums in almost everything. I don't want her to grow as a spoiled-brat. What are the means I could use to discipline her? Is slight spanking one of them? At what age can I use this?

Answer 1

I am not against A smack but not at this age. The best thing for tantrums is IGNORE. Step over her and keep going. As long as she gets no response she will soon stop. My daughter only threw about 5 and using this technique she soon stopped. Time out DOES work if it is done properly. Not occasionally but on every bad behaviour the DO stop. I have well behaved children who when 2-4 saw timeout a lot . Now the are 7 and people go out of their way to tell me how lovely and well behaved they are.
Remember..one smack can work (if used sparingly) 2 smacks is a sign you can not control yourself (have to admit i have done this too, no one is perfect but try to realise when you are going to go further than you wish and give yourself some time out, go to your room and have a read for 5 minutes, just take yourself out of the situation. Kids can drive you nuts at times). Wait 6 more months till you smack. You baby will not fully connect the action she did to the smack

Answer 2

I work with kids constantly, at church and in the school system, I have seen kids who are not spaked and kids that are beat both are not good, the kids who have never been spanked are like yo said most of the time spoiled brats who think that nothing will happen to them no matter what they do. I myself was spanked. and I am none the worse for wear in fact I'm glad it only took me a couple of times getting spanked. as for tantrums, one thing that worked wonders for my mom was if we were in a restuant and I pitched a fit she would simply pick up the food, throw it away and we would leave, or in a store she would just take me by the hand and take me out of the store not say a word take me out to the car and go home. i'm not saying that this is the best method but it worked well for me. Also there needs to be clear lines and the child needs to know that if she crosses that line there are concquances...the same ones every time not one time you let her get away it and then the next time she gets in trouble for the same thing...i have a friend who has triplet boys and the way she disiplines them (they were abused and beat when hey were babies) she has a chair that is actually a large car seat that has a safty lock on it, and when they do something taht would in normal cases you would think spank, ie talk back or something, she puts them in the chair and latches it down and they sit there till they eaither stop crying, or apoligize, usually only a few minutes, she also talks to them and explains what they did that made them get in trouble. But there is nothing wrong with spanking as long as you don't do it in anger, or so hard that you leave marks. If you find your self angry when your child does something she's not suppose to and you are a fraid of hurting her than by all means don't, put her in time out or something.

Answer 3

a slight spanking is not needed. get the book 'how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk.'

you can learn how to maintain control in your home while teaching your child self-control and self-discipline. hitting doesn't work - tantrums should be ignored, not punished because punishment is reinforcement!!

tantrums in a way are wonderful because they show your child feels like an individual and is expressing her disdain at being restricted. you will teach her how to control her emotions by saying 'use your words' and teaching her what you do when you're frustrated.

You distract her from things you don't want her to do, rather than saying no. And, give information instead of 'nos.' Say 'danger' if she touches plugs or 'hot' if she gets near the stove.

You want to catch her behaving right, give her feedback that what she's doing is pleasing. Have as few rules as possible and stick to them.

we have two sons, have never spanked them, and they are very sweet, obedient, helpful, admired by others.

Answer 4

Spanking at this age is actually teaching that hitting is okay. The best way to deal with tantrums at home at least is to ignore them. In public remove her from the area where she causes the most distraction. When you can start discussions about what behaviors are wrong, then you can spank. Spanking before then, I believe, is wrong, because they cannot understand that this is a consequence of their negative behaviors. You are entering the terrible twos. Have fun and you will get past this eventually. Just wait... She'll be a teenager soon! :)

Answer 5

I was a very rebellious/belligerent child. Everyone spanked me, even from a very early age... my grandfather said that he spanked me more than all his children and grandchildren put together. I believe if they had not spanked me, I would have ended up in prison or worse. As it is, I have had zero infractions of the law in my life (not even a speeding ticket). But, they also gave me lots and lots of positive reinforcement (that is just as important). I love them with all my heart and I'm so glad they wailed on my bottom... I really needed it. You just have to be consistent!
Those people who give those rubbishy arguments against spanking don't have a clue. I have a super high self-esteem and spanking didn't teach me to hit... I got spanked for hitting people. Look at how the children are ending up these days. Just how many school shootings, violence, rebellion, etc. have we had from children who were not spanked? As people quit spanking more and more, these things will continually go up more and more. Just look at the statistics from back in the days when people spanked. Spare the rod...

Answer 6

Spanking does not teach kids that hitting is okay. Where do people get that? Slapping kids before warning and hitting out of anger teaches hitting is okay. This is my advice as a mother of 2 and babysitter of more. Decide what is most important that the child learn. If it is small things use time-outs and take toys away. If it is a major problem spanking is best. It lets the child know this is serious and you mean it. Just always take time to think before reacting and do what is best for the problem.
It is okay to start mildly apanking a 1 and a half year old.
Definetly time in my opinion.

Answer 7

My daughter is 11-months.

I don't believe in spanking for tantrums. I will only use spanking as an EXTREMELY last resort if she's done something that will seriously endanger her. (I only remember one when I was a kid. I tried to ride the dog like a pony. Big dog. Old black lab. I could've gotten seriously bitten and I got a spanking for it.)

Later on my Mom could just LOOK at me without a word and I'd know when I'd better stop doing whatever I was doing. I can't WAIT for those days... :-)

For minor infractions I'll be sending her to her room or there's gonna be a naughty mat in my house!! Get down to her level, tell her what she's done wrong and have her sit until she apologizes. Check back after 1 minute per year old. (Time outs shouldn't last longer than that.)

Another good trick I used to use when babysitting was to sit a kid on the couch and tell them to stay there for a few minutes. Then I'd play with their toys. (Worked even better when I could play with their toys with their sibling!!) No kid wanted THAT!!!

Good luck!

Answer 8

I would definitely use spanking. In my opinion, time outs and other methods, do not work as well. Children respond to spanking and do not like it because it hurts their feelings. Therefore, if they know that is their punishment, they will alter their behavior to avoid the punishment.

Also, I am able to look at a child and simply scare them into stopping whatever they are doing. I believe it's the tone of your voice and the seriousness in your stance that lets the child know if you are serious and if they can get away with it.

Answer 9

At one year the male in the relationship happens to be the better disciplinary figure, due to the fact he only needs to raise his voice. Save the spanking for when the child understands what it is for.

Answer 10

At 18 months, I don't believe spanking is effective. I do believe in spanking but your daughter is too young to relate the pain from the spanking to her behavior. Redirecting works better at her age.