rate me on this funny dumb blond joke and if you have any dumb blond jokes please tell me them........?

Question

do you know any dumb blond jokes? if so plz tell me,and make sure they make me laugh! i only know 1.OKAY:one day, a brunette,a redhead,and a blond were standing in front of a magic mirror.if you lied to it then it would eat you.
The brunette was really overweight,and she said:"I think im the skinniest brunette ever." and the mirror ate her.The redhead was very ugly,and she said:"i think im the prettiest redhead ever." and the mirror ate her.The blond said:Hmmmmmmmm.......i think.....and the mirror ate her.


rate from 1-10! and REMEMBER......tell me any dumb blond jokes that you have!!!!!!1

I DONT REALLY BELIEVE THAT BLONDS ARE DUMB CAUSE I HAPPEN TO KNOW SOME VERY SMART BLONDS K!?!

Answer 1

The Catholic Church's air conditioning broke down, so they
had to hire a man to crawl around in the ducts and figure
out what was wrong.

As the man peeked down through one of the vents in the
sanctuary, he saw little old Mrs. Murphy kneeling by the
altar, apparently saying her rosary. Since the man was a
fundamental Baptist, he thought it'd be funny to try and
mess with the lady's mind.

In his best authoritative voice, he said, "This is Jesus.
Your prayers will be answered."

The little old lady didn't even blink, just kept on saying
her prayers. The man decided maybe she didn't hear him, and
tried again. "This is Jesus, the Son of God! Your prayers
will be answered!"

Again, she didn't react at all. Mustering up a big breath
of air, the man decided to try again. "THIS IS JESUS
CHRIST, THE SON OF GOD! YOUR PRAYERS WILL BE ANSWERED!"

The lady looks up and says, "SHUT UP! I'M TALKING TO YOUR
MOTHER!"




Two blondes were driving through Louisiana. As they were
approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the
pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until
they stopped at a fast-food restaurant for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one blonde asked the manager,
"Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are . very slowly?"

The manager leaned over the counter and said:
"Burrrrrrr-gerrrrrr Kiiiiiing."





A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The
girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, want to play
house?"

He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"

The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your feelings."

"Communicate my feelings?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no
idea what that means."

The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the
husband then."






Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible. "

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went
wrong, they said I was responsible. "






A blonde goes into aDunkin Donuts and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup.

So she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome!

I've won a motorhome!"

The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free Lunch."

But the blonde keeps on screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!"

Finally, the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome because we didn't have that as a prize."

The blonde says, "No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motorhome!"

And she hands the ticket to the manager and HE reads...

"W I N A B A G E L"





A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wife's birthday.

His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for
me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".

The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened
it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.





"Arizona Vacation"


On doctor's orders, Johnny had moved to Arizona. Two weeks later, he was dead. His body was shipped back home, where the undertaker prepared it for the services.
Johnny's brother came in to make sure everything was taken care of. "Would you like to see the body?" the undertaker asked.

"I might as well take a look at it before the others get here." The undertaker led him into the next room and opened the top half of the casket. He stood back and proudly displayed his work.

"He looks good," the brother said. "Those two weeks in Arizona were just the thing for him."






"Airline Ticket"


As an airline reservation agent, I took a call from a
man who wanted to book a flight for two but wasn't
happy with the price of $59 per ticket.

"I want the $49 fare I saw advertised," he insisted,
saying he would accept a flight at any time. I managed
to find two seats on a 6 a.m. flight. "I'll take it,"
he said, then worried his wife might not like the
early hour.

I warned there was a fee of $25 per person if he
changed the reservation.

"Oh, that's no problem," he said dismissively. "What's
fifty bucks?"







"Twelve of the Most Terrifying Things to Hear"


1. The dentist says: "This won't hurt a bit."
2. The IRS announces: "We are simplifying the tax
forms."
3. Your lawyer says: "This is an air-tight case-- you
can't lose."
4. Your stock broker says: "This little drop in the
market is just a minor correction."
5. Your physician says: "You're in great shape--
you'll live to be 100!"
6. Your business partner says: "Nothing can possibly
go wrong."
7. Your best friend says: "Trust me--
I'll never tell a soul."
8. The directions on a do-it-yourself kit say:
"Even a child can do it."
9. Your colleagues say: "We're behind you 100%--
we'll back you up."
10. Someone giving you directions says:
"You can't miss it."
11. The airline pilot announces: "Just a bit of
turbulence folks-- nothing to worry about."
12. A voice on the telephone says: "Congratulations!
You're an instant winner!"






"Fishing on Sunday"


A village pastor, known for his weakness for trout, preached
against fishing on Sunday.

The next day, one of his members presented him with a fine
string of fish and said, hesitatingly, "I guess I ought to tell
you, parson, that those trout were caught on Sunday."

The minister hesitated, gazed appreciatively at the speckled
trout, and then said piously as he reached for his gift, "The
fish aren't to blame for that."






"Cross-eyed Bear"


A little boy came home with his parents from church one Sunday.
He seemed a little depressed, so his mother asked him if something
happened in Sunday School class that he would like to talk about.

He told his mother, "Well, we were singing songs and the teacher
made us sing about a poor bear named Gladly that needed glasses and I
can't stop thinking about him. She said he was cross-eyed and I feel
bad for him.

The mother couldn't understand why the teacher would teach such
a song in Sunday school, so she decided to call her. To the woman's
amazement, the teacher said she only taught hymns that morning.

Then the teacher began laughing out loud and said to the mother,
"I know what Jeffrey's talking about! We learned the hymn 'Gladly The Cross I'd Bear!'"






"Benefits of Tithing"


Two men off for a sailing trip around the world are shipwrecked. The
minute they got on to the island one of them started screaming and
yelling, "We're going to die! We're going to die! There's no food! No
water! We're going to die!"

The second man comfortably propped himself up against a palm tree and
acted so calmly it drove the first man crazy. "Don't you understand?! ?
We're going to die!!"

The second man replied, "You don't understand, I make $100,000 a week."

The first man looked at him quite dumbfounded and asked, "What
difference does that make?!? We're on an island with no food and no
water! We're going to DIE!!!"

The second man answered with a confident smile, "No, you just don't get
it. I make $100,000 a week and I tithe ten percent on that $100,000 a
week. Our church is getting ready to start a building program. My
pastor and the finance committee will find me"

Answer 2

Aloha from Down Unda!

Did you mean~
Rate this funny dumb blonde joke & if you have any dumb blonde jokes please post? Do you know any dumb blonde jokes? If so please tell me & make sure they make me laugh! I only know 1...OKAY: One day, a brunette, a redhead & a blonde were standing in front of a magic mirror. If you lied to it then it would eat you. The brunette was really overweight & she said,:"I think I'm the skinniest brunette ever." & the mirror ate her. The redhead was very ugly,& she said: "I think I'm the prettiest redhead ever." & the mirror ate her. The blonde said, "Hmmm...."I think...." & the mirror ate her.
Rate from 1-10! and REMEMBER...tell me any dumb blonde jokes that you have!!!!!!"?

Okay, I had to re-read it to 'get' it, so I'd say it would qualify at least as an 7... {but your punctuation & typing skills are horrible 8-o}.

~A blonde cop pulls over another blonde & says, "Can I see some ID?"
The blonde replies, "What is an ID?"
The cop says, "It's a small square with your picture on it."
The driver digs in her purse & pulls out a small mirror & says, "Here you go!"
The officer hands it back & says, "Why didn't you tell me you were a cop?" ~

Bonus for this answer is the source site, below, full of more 'Dumb Blonde' Jokes :o))

K-den, M1/NSWMoke aka mikewonaus ;-)

Answer 3

5

Answer 4

What do you call a brunette standing between a blonde and a red head? An interpreter.
Did you hear about the blonde that was working at the "M & M" factory as a quality control inspector? She got fired, she was rejecting all the "W & W" ones.
What is the difference between a blonde PMS'ing and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.
6.
See the link below for more.

Answer 5

7! Here's one: (In this case, the blonde appears to be the smartest, but not on purpose!)
There was a redhead, blonde, and brunette stuck on an island. Then, a genie appeared out of a genie lamp, and said "I will grant you one wish to get off this island." The redhead said,
"I wish I can become really smart and find a way off this island". POOF! The redhead immediatly build a boat out of twigs and vines and sailed off the island. The brunette then approached the genie and said "I wish to be even smarter than the redhead and find a way off the island". POOF! She started to collect rocks and seashells and made a airplane and flew right off the island. Now very excited, the blonde said to the genie "I want to be even smarter than those two and find a way off this island. POOF! The blonde turned into a man and walked across the bridge.

Answer 6

I have told this blond joke a lot on Yahoo Answers, so you might have already heard it. There were two blonds and they locked their keys in their car. One of the blonds tryed to open it while the other stood back and watched. After a while the blond said "I can't get the car open!" and the other said "Well keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down!"

Answer 7

i would give it a 7..

here:
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde to stand in the circle and not move.

He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.

When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh, you think that's funny? Watch this." He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad.

He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.

"What's so funny?" The truck driver asked the blonde.

She replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle 4 times."

another blonde joke:
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?

A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Answer 8

A woman was walking along a river when she noticed a woman walking on the other side. She yells across "How do you get to the other side?" The other woman being a blonde yells back "You are on the other side!"

Did you hear about the blonde terrorist that tried to blow up a bus? She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

Answer 9

HAHAHA!!
very funny.. rating 9/10.
here's another 2 blonde jokes:-

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=====no.1=====
Two blondes were driving through Louisiana. As
they were
approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing
about the
pronunciation of the town. They argued back and
forth until
they stopped at a fast-food restaurant for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one blonde asked
the manager,
"Before we order, could you please settle an
argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are . very
slowly?"

The manager leaned over the counter and said:
"Burrrrrrr-gerrrrrr Kiiiiiing."

=====no.2======

A blond guy, a brunnette guy and a red head guy
take their girlfriends on a triple date to a
restaurant. The brunnette guy say to his
wife, "Pass the honey, honey!" She says ''awww
your sweet!'' The red head thinks ''Man that guys
good'', so he says to his girlfriend, "Pass the
sugar, sugar!" Shes says ''Awww I love you!'' The
blond guy thinks ''wow they are good'', so he says
to his girlfriend, "Pass the pork, pig!"

=====EnD=====

Answer 10

Why is it people who tell dumb blonde jokes never spell blonde right??

But still, 9

Answer 11

Even if i am a blonde, i'm not offended and i thought it was funny.
5.