I have been dating this girl for about a few months, normally she will always report to me when ever her guy friends or her ex wanted to meet her and i never ever did once stop her from seeing them becuase i truly trust in her.
And because of this she told me that she prefer me to be at least feel jealous and able to control her tightly rather than letting her seeing them cause it shows that i do love and care her... but in my heart i do really care and love her that's why im letting her seeing them cause i dun want her to be upset thinking that i'm controlling her freedom...
Now since she really want me to control her tightly so as to make her feel happy, i decided to give it a try it but the problem lies in me that I just don't get jealous no matter what...
hmmm... so now i really need help and some advice in controling her from not seeing her ex or guy friends without her feeling upset espically when it come to tell her not to see them. Thanks a lot.
2006-10-29 13:15:47 · 22 answers · asked by Adrien 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I did told her before that what happens if one day i did controlling you so tightly that make you hate me... well she reply that when that day comes she will not ever detest me or regret bein with me and she really dun mind me controlling her tightly... but as i can see from her past releationships break up mostly because her ex upset her too much by controlling her tightly... and now she wanted me to control her tightly... oh man i really don't know whats going on...
2006-10-29 13:45:57 · update #1
Well honestly I think u need to sit down and have a heart to heart chat with her. Because while alot of girls claim that it makes them feel wanted.. its not always the case, underlying that wanting feel wanted is a deeper sense of insecurity, address that insecurity and you address the symptoms... To take it more extreme, she might resort to sleeping with other guys to make u feel jealous...
While I am not sure the cause of her actions, what I suspect is that as she grew up, she did not feel wanted or attractive, and mild jealousy is a form of being wanted. Talk to her, and things like surprises, calling her out for coffee / dinner out of the blue (beyond ur pre-arranged dates) would help to make her feel wanted... explain to her that you care, and follow up with actions... hopefully it helps...
Caz keeping a tight reign on her merely address the symptoms of insecurity, and like a cold that you take a runny nose pill, it merely treats the symptoms, and not address the actual flu bug. Treat the flu, the runny nose stops too..
2006-10-29 13:23:41 · answer #1 · answered by hotchocolate 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is honest, you are not jealous. There is really no problem. Ask her to make up her mind to steer clear of her former BF provided she really cares and loves you. By doing this the onus is upon her not to see the men. If she does not see the men then you know her intentions for you I can tell you females like it when they can do what they want Do not try to control her. To try and control somebody is not possible and is a dangerous practice and is not love
2006-10-29 21:29:28 · answer #2 · answered by R C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL i think there is no need for control on either part,
the reason being if she loves you as much as you love her then she WOULD NOT want to go off seeing her male friends & ex b/fs, not a lot of men would let there g/fs go off like you do, BUT i have to say it does make you wonder if you really love her or weather your not really bothered, because by letting her go she has the impression you dont really care,
SO the next time she asks just say NO i want you with me, or both go together,
2006-10-29 21:24:41 · answer #3 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude you need to get a new gf, here's why.
1. She doesn't respect you enough to leave her guy friends or her ex.
2. She expects you to control her instead of her controling herself.
3. If she really cared for you, she wouldn't be seeing these other people. She would only be seeing you.
4. Don't do what the other answer says to do.
In my oppinion you need a new gf. Hope this helps.
2006-10-29 21:40:54 · answer #4 · answered by Jarod R 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do you want to CONTROL ANYONE, being in a relationship is EQUAL not who has the CONTROL, if she wants to be with her guy friends then so be it and you trust her then hey it is all good, do you talk to other girls and REPORT as u said back to her all the time? Really this is almost 2007 and you saying you want to CONTROL someone really shows your insecurity's as a man.
2006-10-29 21:19:57 · answer #5 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't really have to control her if you don't really mean to. Talk to her and ask her. Is that her idea of knowing that you love her and care for her whenever you get jealous? This isn't a reasonable test to prove what you have for her. You should ask her to grow up. This is a classic high-school scene not for mature people. Sorry, just my opinion. ;-)
2006-10-29 21:23:50 · answer #6 · answered by Damngorgeous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she's just playing with your emotions. I would say not to try to control her, but instead to tell her to grow up, and let you know when she's ready for a mature relationship.
Jealousy is a sign of low self-esteem, and you sound like a well adjusted person. Her asking you to be jealous is a sign that she's not emotionally mature.
2006-10-29 21:19:22 · answer #7 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
show her this question you send and tell firmly and clearly that loving somebody does not have to include jealousy, trust is more like it and respect is very important, don't ever be a controlling type kind of persons because soon she will get tired of it and you are use too it and that starts trouble!
2006-10-29 21:22:17 · answer #8 · answered by livinhapi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel jealousy, I must say--I don't think you can really love her. Jealousy comes with love and certainly when it comes to hanging out with Ex's. She doesn't really want you to control her-she just wants to know that you care. Apparently you are lacking in that area.
2006-10-29 21:19:20 · answer #9 · answered by blonde_bitch_norris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant control her neither should you try. If you don't like what she is doing and it makes you jealous tell her if she continues. and you are in high school don't worry if you are much older then she is immature and you are above her and need to move on.
2006-10-29 21:21:02 · answer #10 · answered by Agnon L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋