Can I marry him even though my lack of "experience" bothers me?

Question

Basically, I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we are talking engagement/marriage. He is very supportive and caring to me. Of course we have small fights here and there but for the most part we have a amazing relationship. BUT here is my "problem"... when we first met I was 18, he was 24. I was a virgin, he had been with 5 other women (all different ages, shapes). When our relationship was in the early stages he would talk openly about his exs (now he never does cause he knows I get upset) and it would always make me jealous. Even to this day, I still get mad that he has been with others and I will never be. I would never cheat on him, and I can't imagine myself without him, but I cant help but get jealous of his experience. Sometimes I even feel like he still wants to be with some of his ex's because he told me (early in our relationship) that this one was great at sex etc.. and I feel like because i am so inexperienced I can never be as good, please help me b4 I go crazy

I just dont want to marry him then regret me not knowing what it was like with others...any advise would be great..thanks

sorry for the confusion, im not a virgin anymore but i am def not anything close to good..

Answer 1

you should let him know how you feel. Take a break from each other, expirement on your own. Then you'll realize how much he'll mean to you. That way you won't regret anything and if he doesn't love you anymore, then he never really did.

Answer 2

I am a guy and I was on the same side when I was getting married. My wife had been with others, and I had not. I want you to know that marriage is so much more than sex. BUT, she admits that I am the best she has ever had and she means it. I often wonder what I have missed, but I have to put those thoughts out of my mind because I have done the right thing. And, doing the right thing by waiting is more important than the experimentation.

Answer 3

i don't think you are really ready to get married to this guy. you are worried too much about all the small, wrong things.

so what if he's already had 100 gf's before? he should be happy and honored that he will be the first for you. (although it doesn't really matter who's first)

the fact that he doesn't talk about his ex's anymore means that he respects your feelings and doesn't want to hurt you. if you can't imagine life without him, then stop all those worrying and focus on your future with him. whatever happened in the past is in the past already. you only assumed that he still wants to be with some of his ex's. that is probably one of the biggest unfair thing that you can do to him.

i'm sorry for saying this. if you can't get over his past, leave him. stop the marriage plans. your marriage just won't work.

Answer 4

If the two of you love each other, it shoudn't matter what experience either of you have had. Everyone enters a new relationship with a past. His just happens to have involved sex with other women. Evidentally, since he is still with you after 3yrs, he doesn't want anyone else. He has had ample opportunity to go after others. Just be happy that he loves you and you love him. Don't worry about the experience part. Good luck.

Answer 5

i know where you are coming from i have never been with anyone else but my husband, sometimes i wonder about things like never living on my own or what i might have missed out on but then one day my best friend put that into perspective for me she told me that: the things that i missed out on sexual or other wise might have left me hurtting, that my husband was the right man for me wether i had those experiances before i met him or not so how lucky was i to have met the perfect man for me without having to go through the painful experiances in life that some do to get to what i found first thing.

in a sense i was very lucky and so are you

Answer 6

He shouldn't talk about his exs. And so what if they were good, it doesn't mean you're not. Experience comes with age, not the number of partners you have. My mother was only with my dad and I asked her if she wished she'd had more and how did she know he was good. She said he's good to me because I have nothing to compare it to. And she's not disappointed. They've been married 32 years. My dad was married before so he was experienced.

I've been with my husband 6 years and I mean it when I tell you it's better every year. The longer you're with someone the more you learn each others bodies and likes and dislikes.

Answer 7

in my experience sex comes pretty naturally and its about intimacy not technique.actually, you have a great situation because you haven't been with a lot of other men you can give your whole heart to one man without others lingering in your mind.anyway you will not regret being a virgin when you marry him. about he's experience with other women, he did abstain from sex for three years, for YOU. its pretty clear that those other women mean nothing to him and he only wants you.who cares if your lousy in bed to begin with, it gets better. besides if your really concerned about pleasing him you can buy a book of positions and stuff to try. also, you should consider on a totally different vein of experience if you want to try out other guys (and i discourage it)
perhaps its time to cut off the relationship completely and find yourself.

Answer 8

His past is his past- let it go- he wants you and he will be able to give you all the experience you want or need. I am a little suspicious that he is 27 years old and for the past 3 years has not had sex. I find that pretty unlikely, but if it is true, he must really love you-

Answer 9

i have the same situation as urs. n we r about that many yrs apart. i do mind sometimes becuz he had made out wit other girls n tells me how they were while he is my first one. if he really cares about u and u guys hv been dating for 3 yrs already, i dont think it's really an issue. but i would tell him how i feel if i were u since u guys r getting married n should know each other well =)

Answer 10

I totally understand... be happy he has told you about his past. It is normal to jealous your lack of experience is a good thing. Think about all the "stuff" that is out that and be proud. If he is with you and wants to marry you obviously you are good enough.

Answer 11

You would be better off marrying him and being happy that he has some experience and he has been your only man....That is an honor to both him and you...You do not need to be experienced, he should be able to give you all the experiences that you want...
Watch some porn with him....do anything that looks interesting...