My 5 year old is definitely testing the waters. I am a firm disciplinarian, but my husband, not so much. How can I get consistency in his discipline when he just doesn't listen to directions from almost any adult? His teacher too?
2006-10-29 12:15:01 · 19 answers · asked by alicia0821 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I would say there should be some sort of consequences for the child when he doesn't listen. Get involved and talk to his teacher. Create some sort of system so that you're informed when he has a problem at school. For my daughter, who's also 5 and can have problems with authority, we've decided that every time she acts out at school she has to come home and draw us a picture of what she's done. Then she has to draw a picture of what she should have done. From there we take away her play time for the evening and she has to help out around the house. I would even go so far as to take over when he doesn't listen to Dad. If his dad isn't enforcing it someone has to. Talk to your son about respecting others and what that means. Then tell him what will happen next time he doesn't listen and then enforce it. It's hard, I know it is, especially when you don't have someone to back you up. But you'll never regret it!
2006-10-30 02:54:19 · answer #1 · answered by Angela G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's testing your boundaries my nearly 5yr old boy is starting to behave like this too. And he is getting his bad behaviour from other kids at kinder. My husband and I have seen this first hand. Just continue to discipline him and tell him we don't do this in our house. Yes take away a toy or don't give him a treat. He has to learn that the parents are the rule makers not the kids. I know easier said than just be firm but don't give up.
2006-10-29 21:40:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a kid, but I know what it's like. My brother has 3 kids and my sister had 7. They lie and are sneaky. It's hard to tell them what to do and make them listen. But I used to play school with some younger kids. Make a chart with his name on it. Get little stickers or a pencil. Anything that you can take off or erase. Put a sticker or star or something on the chart.Tell him that if he doesn't do 1 bad thing on purpose, he gets to have the sticker removed. If he keeps all his stars by the end of the week, or most of them, take him to the store to by something, or do something nice for him. Do this a lot at first, and then do it less, without him noticing, after a while. When you quit doing it, hopefully he won't notice and will just behave.
2006-10-29 20:47:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
People are suggesting that age is and excuse for bad behaviour. It isn't and no he won't grow out of it. That's why God gave them parents, to teach them. It's great that you're trying to find a solution to the problem instead of doing what most parents do, ignoring it. Some kids, all it takes is a spanking after a foul up. But not all kids respond to this. I don't spank my children, and they are 8 and 9. I talk to them. I talk to them about what they did wrong and why it's not right. Well, I used to, but I don't have to that much anymore. Kids would rather have a spanking than a lecture. Every time he back talks you, get on your knees and in his face and say calmly, I do not like you talking back to me because i'm your mother. EVERY TIME. He'll get it after a while. This approach is very time consuming , that's why most parents would rather spank, but it works.
2006-10-30 12:34:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There have to be ground rules set for behavior. What privileges does he earn if he behaves? Or do you just give him whatever (television, video games etc) as "rights" rather than privileges to be earned? I found that going by the reward/discipline system worked for me. She didn't get any privileges until she had earned them. There was no television, no games, no videos until she behaved and earned them. Consequently I rarely had any problems with her listening. There is no need to hit a child since all you are doing is pointing out the the child that it is okay to hit when one doesn't get their way.
2006-10-29 22:18:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use the reward system along with time outs. It takes a week or two of consistency, but it does work. Your husband MUST be a participant or it won't work very well. The reward system works on husbands too.
2006-10-30 00:05:42 · answer #6 · answered by sexmagnet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, make sure the child knows exactly how to execute the task you ask. Pick him up and make him. It hurts to have me squeeze his hands around his hands and force him to pick up his toys or clothes. Far less painful to just do what is told.
Smacking a butt doesn't make the connection or get the action done.
As for rewards for doing what he SHOULD do anyway, is bad idea, you'll get caught up with all that bribery. The kid will just want bigger and better rewards. The reward in my house is not feeling pain.
2006-10-29 20:18:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have been trying to figure out how to make my kids listen too, lol. I asked a question about my kids and their messiness and I think I got some pretty good answers. Some that might even be able to help you. Click on my name and got to my questions and find the one about my kids being messy. Check out the answers I got. I hope you might find them helpful. Take care. I will even come back to this question to look in on your answers. Maybe our questions will help each other.
2006-10-29 20:21:02 · answer #8 · answered by Jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spare the rod, spoil the child. Its no surprise the attitudes expressed by todays teens, we enabled them by not showing them the negative consequences to their actions. You do not have to beat a child, but a firm spank on the behind goes a long way. By the way, it absolutely frightens me that he is 5, and you are just now concerned with how to discipline/train him.
2006-10-29 20:24:56 · answer #9 · answered by gtprinc1 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He's in kindergarten right?! My son is the SAME way...they are just going through a phase...(I have a 14 yr old son..who did the same thing...) just testing the waters...school has given them "ideas" and they are just following what they see others do...my son argues with me almost every morning about being dressed like a dork...mind you..he wears Levis and a nice shirt....He just has his own ideas...He will out grow it
2006-10-30 11:06:41 · answer #10 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋