I love him so much. We've been together for 3yrs since 8th grade.
Lately he has been like really agressive and pushing me and stuff. But later he says he's sorry. I cant help cutting. It helps me deal with the pain but since ive started, i dont have any friends anymore and my family think im weird. I dont wanna see a shrink.
2006-10-29 11:49:59 · 25 answers · asked by Gothemo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My mom left when i was only 3. I h8 her leaving us.
2006-10-29 12:39:12 · update #1
Im not a spoiled a kid. If you think that, well than F U C K you!! Mafaka
2006-10-29 12:40:59 · update #2
If he really loved you, he wouldnt be "pushing you around and stuff"
Wake up girl! This relationship isn't doing much good for ya!
You need to find other ways of dealing with problems.
How about you write it down on paper, then throw the paper away or burn it.
And you have to tell your mum or dad about this. Ok you don't have to see a shrink if you dont want to. Try a school counsellor or try a kids helpline. Its annonymous, so that should help.
My friend recently went through what you're going through so if you ever need advice or something send me a note. =)
2006-10-29 12:24:02 · answer #1 · answered by Kendra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you are serious, because I am going to give you a serious answer. #1) If your Bf is abusive, then DUMP HIM! It's not unusual for an abuser to appologise later, he'll even be sincere, but it's all part of the syndrome, & you are a part of it too. He wants to control you, but he can't ( nobody controls anybody) so he gets frustrated, & then gets abusive. Which brings us to you cutting yourself.
#2) Being very young, you believe that in order to make a relationship work, you have to put all of your available love into that relationship. To do that you have foresaken all other loving relationships in your life, such as with your family & friends. ("I don't have any friends anymore") When your Bf abuses, you believe that you must deserve it, because if you loved him enough, then he wouldn't feel that it's necessary to be angry & abusive towards you. So at least for the moment you feel unloved by your Bf. Combine that with the fact that you are not working on the other relationships that matter to you, & now you really feel unloved, & so you buy into it,(even if it's not really a fact) & start to hate yourself.
So with the self-loathing, & all of the other internal pain, you try to find a release for it all. The cutting brings relief, because the external pain,(from cutting) is a temporary distraction from the internal pain (self loathing etc).
The relief is only temporary, so when the inernal pain starts to build up, you start cutting again. Once you are in that cycle then YOU ARE ADDICTED.
You & your Bf are in a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. That means you aren't good for each other in the state each of you are in (he an abuser) (you a self-mutilator).
Saying "I don't wanna see a shrink" is an addicts way of saying "I don't wanna deal with it"
So there you are, you asked "how do I stop?"
Well start by getting treatment for your addiction. After that you can decide for yourself if you can stay with your Bf.
2006-10-29 12:23:48 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP...
you need to ...
1- Take a break from each other.... i can see that you love him so much and you won't stop loving' him in an instance.... give him a break maybe both of you need sometime alone to re adjust....
2- Cutting your self won't help you ...it instead tangles the problem more.... CONCENTRATE on your self well being..am sure that you are a pretty girl who has a lot of potentials that are needed for others to discover and make ya feel special....
3- SEE a shrink ..she would help ya move on and find a life...
4- DUMB your friends...they are not good friends!!! i have always believed in friends in need are friends in deed but i can't see any of your friends know that...so just find your self new friends
Am here if you wanna talk...am offering you my shoulder my friend
BEST of luck
2006-10-29 12:03:46 · answer #3 · answered by sweet cherry78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you really need professional help. If you REALLY don't want to see a shrink could you consider some over the phone counselling with a professional - perhaps your family has some sort of health plan that allows for this - if not there are public services. The point is don't try to tackle this alone. I do however think that you have bigger issues than just your boyfriend.
2006-10-29 11:58:38 · answer #4 · answered by LanceMiller77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look. U may need a shrink or a friend that understands. I had this b/f for about 6 months and he never talked to me. we always fought and everything. So i would write in my journal. I think that a journal might hepl. If i was u i would dump him though. If he is making u do things that u don't want to do and pushes u around he doesn't deserve u. If u need a friend u can contact me or what i also do is pray to god. that always helps. He listens to eveyone. Just open ur heart to him and he can help with ur problems.
2006-10-29 11:58:06 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's pushing you around and being aggressive how and the world could you put up with that,just cause he says sorry i don't buy it for one second he is ,leopards don't change their spots if you know what i mean.you are cutting your wrists up over him,no guy is worth it,in time by the sounds of things he's gonna end up doin it for you in time or worse than that.you need to get out of the relationship and find someone that treats you like a lady not an animal.
you do need a shrink to talk to you you are going through physical abuse and mental abuse .you keep taking it from him and he's gonna keep doing it ,and it gets worse each time.
go get some help and charge him the next time he lays a hand on you ,let him know its unexceptable and your not going to allow it.that is far from love my dear.
best of luck
2006-10-29 12:02:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an issue that should be handled by a professional. Just remember that you are better then that bum and years down the road you will look back at that as a bad experience and that is what makes us stronger in the end. Keep your head up and stop thinking about the negatives. Think possitive and you will see that everything will feel better before you know it. You choose what you think and do...nobody else...
2006-10-29 11:57:07 · answer #7 · answered by mench 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you grow up in a bubble? You know he's an abuser...and you are a cutter. Get help...see a shrink...dump the loser...and grow up. You think this sh-- is tough?
Think about kids growing up in 3rd world countries. You know the ones who are homeless, don't know when they'll eat again, dying of simple illnesses, being taken advantage of. You don't have it that bad...you're just a spoiled kid with too much time on your hands.
2006-10-29 11:59:04 · answer #8 · answered by pullmytriggerthenblamemygun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of the boyfriend. You do not need some guy that treats you like that. Nobody does!! Get help for the fact that you want to cut yourself when you are upset and find some new friends.
2006-10-29 11:55:57 · answer #9 · answered by Justwondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get help. Talking to someone will help you deal with why exactly you are cutting. And you need to get rid of the boyfriend! If he's being aggressive and pushing you, it will only get worse as time goes by. Sorry doesn't mean anything, you need to look at his actions, not his words!
2006-10-29 11:53:30 · answer #10 · answered by Tami 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋