I'm having a hard time dealing with it and I'm very angry with god still wanting to know why me and why her? ?Does anyone know what helps and what steps to take to recovery. Desperately seeking the answers. Yes I am a christian and I have prayed alot about this just not getting anywhere.
2006-10-29 11:15:13 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
No one knows why someone comes in and out of our lives so swiftly. Please do not be angry with God. Pray for understanding and open your heart and spirit for a divine answer. You won't receive that answer if you continue to let yourself get in the way of what is meant for you. I'm sorry about your loss and nothing could ever bring that child back to you. May God bless you and I hope you find forgiveness for the one who loved you first.
2006-10-29 11:27:18 · answer #1 · answered by myjoy247 2 · 4⤊ 3⤋
As shown by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross there or 5 steps to grieving. They may occur in any order, and not all people experience all five. They are:
Denial- where the person refuses to accept the truth
Anger- frustration of helplessness and feeling of outrage at the apparent injustice of the loss
Bargaining- seam to be attempting to earn forgiveness or mitigation of the loss by being "very good"
Depression- person is often acquiescent, quiet, and withdrawn
Acceptance- conclusion of grieving process, person accepts the loss and deals with life and relationships on a more realistic, day-to-day basis
Don't push yourself. This will take time and time is the only prescription to this hurt. I know someone close to me who lost his little girl when she was 8 months old. This has been about eight years ago and he is still dealing with his loss. Don't worry he has accepted and is through the hard times and knows there was a reason. Just try to keep your faith and you will get through this. Just remember time is the only answer.
I know you feel like you aren't getting anywhere right now, but really you are. There is no right or wrong way to deal with your situation. You have to do what feels right for you and only you right now. If you want to just scream then do it. Every person must express their feelings in their own way. I am sorry for your loss and wish you well.
2006-10-29 19:36:34 · answer #2 · answered by veronica_pilcher 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
SORRY for your lost! I as well lost my daughter last year (May 23-June 6) due to premature. She was "just not fully developed" is how the doctor put it. It was very hard for me, being first daughter..and first child for my husband. We both felt the same way as to "why us" "why did God take her from us"..etc. But we will never know the answer to our questions. My husband and I supported each other. Talked about it as much as possible..even if one of us didnt feel like talkin about it. We still had to get it off our chest and let each other know how we felt. I turned to my family (they were a BIG..huge supporters) & friends. We even had thoughts of going to counceling. It's been a year since our lost...still, it's very hard for me. The memories, pictures..lookin at my body since I had a c-section with her. But all I can do is cry it out at times. But we are happy that God had blessed us with another beautiful HEALTHY girl 9/29/06. But we can never forget! The advice I can give you is... talk to someone. It will only get worse if you keep it in. Trust me!! Family..friends..etc. Also keeping yourself busy (to try not to think of your daughter as much) shopping..cooking..etc. I had my 2year old son to keep me busy at these times too. I hope you get through this & wish you best of luck and love your way!
2006-11-02 08:25:58 · answer #3 · answered by Island girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to deal with having lost a baby is to talk to someone. You have read a lot about talking. And it really is the best way for most to heal. There are all kinds of people you can talk to...look for them. If you can’t find someone in your family, look to your friends, counselors or a support group for bereaved parents. Professional counseling is a good choice if your family and friends are not helpful. This is a healthy choice and nothing to feel ashamed about. Women & Infants’ social workers can meet with you or help you find someone to talk to.
Take good care of yourself. Allow yourself to feel pain without confusing things with alcohol or drugs. Those make it worse. After about six weeks, be sure that you are getting enough rest, exercise and good nutrition. If you let your body go, you will feel worse about yourself, and that can make you more depressed. It can be a vicious cycle.
Be careful about changes and big decisions, like moving or changing jobs, or even separating from your partner. Sometimes these changes can’t be helped, but make sure you are not doing it to try to escape your grief. It won’t work. The grief will follow you. Change only brings more stress.
2006-10-29 19:30:42 · answer #4 · answered by nixie 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Perhaps the truth is beginning to rear its ugly head at you... and at times like these, when life seems horribly unfair.... its much more difficult to deny it.
Deny what, you ask?
That these notions of gods and afterlife and indeed any kind of purpose or point to existence are all just a happy, shiny, idealistic fantasy.... That life is in fact just a raw function of causality with no purpose or goal whatsoever... That nothing we do matters and will all be forgotten and vanish when we die.
Of course praying won't get you anywhere.
You're right to ask why god would do such a thing... and the answer is quite simple: He wouldn't. He is a fantasy, and reality is far more cruel.
Its time to sober up.
Its time to try and accept life for the hopeless endeavour it is and continue to live it soley for its own sake.... for the here and now..... Its time to give up caring about what other people think, or what the consequences of your actions might be... and just do whatever the heck feels right at the time.
Afterall... if you don't burn out in the best blaze of glory you can, how long do you seriously expect whatever burn-marks your life makes on this world to last? ... At best they will be gone within a few years, and then it will be as though you were never born.
You can do better than that.
2006-10-29 19:22:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋
Since you are a Christian, remember the scripture that says "with evil God cannot be tried, nor does he try anyone". And God loves you and loves babies, so he did not "take" your daughter. Sometimes yes bad things happen to good people, but God will make things right in due time. Nothing that happens in this life cannot be undone by God, but we do have to show faith and wait on Him.
A year is not really a long time so be nice to yourself. It is OK to grieve. If the loss is consuming your life, you may wish to consult a qualified therapist or even your family doctor to help you through it - perhaps depression has been triggered by this life-changing event.
It might help you to read the account of Job, who suffered so much and he didn't know why he was suffering. He blamed God for all of his troubles, and yet he didn't know that it was really Satan who was causing the problems. When we get mad at God for things that Satan does, we are serving Satan's purposes - he wants us to be mad at God and turn away from Him! Don't let Satan win!!
My heart goes out to you for your loss. There is no instant way to take away the pain, but continue in your quest for answers by reading your Bible and do continue to pray and God will give you peace in your heart.
2006-10-29 19:31:37 · answer #6 · answered by OK yeah well whatever 4 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Maybe God needed an angel : )
I know it's very hard to loose someone so sudden but what you need to do is pray constantly when you feel mad,sad...etc with God or just the idea of your daughter gone pray.....Also if you are a Cristian then you should know that you still have a connection with your little girl talk to her at the end of the day tell her.....its worked for many people..... hope it helped!!!!
2006-10-29 19:20:47 · answer #7 · answered by WISSEN IST ENERGIE!!! 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋
i also lost a child and was mad at God, intill i read some thing i would like to share with you honey....no matter how old or how long the child lived God had a porpose for their life. he knew her before she was born, he looked down upon u and thought i have a verry special little girl i want to let u have and it broke His heart to know he would have to take her back. he holds all the tears u have cried in his hands, and one sweet day u will see her again. this motivates me to serve the Lord i want to see Jesus and my daughter, dont give up. this may sound silly but when my other children have a birthday i always send her a ballon to heaven and i watch it intill it is out of sight..it comforts me
2006-10-29 19:45:01 · answer #8 · answered by stephanie_kanode 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I will not pretend to know why this happened to you, or how you feel about it. I believe you should talk with a counselor, and also with your doctor, to help you deal with your grief. I also don't necessarily think that a year is too long to grieve; after all, you carried your baby for nine months. One thing that helps me when I am angry, albeit about far smaller things than losing a child, is to sit down and write a letter to the person, talking about the way I feel. I don't necessarily mail it, but putting it down on paper helps me.
I think that it's perfectly ok to be angry with God, and to write a letter to God saying so, or to yell at God, or do whatever you need to do. I thorougly believe that God will understand if this is what you need to do; God was the one that created us, and I believe God understands that sometimes we are angry, just as we are sometimes happy, or sad, or confused. I sincerely think you need to tell God that you are angry just as you would tell a human being, and know that God will NOT stop loving you because you tell him the truth.
2006-10-29 19:28:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 4⤋
WOw there are some beautiful answers.
All I can say is that 1Cor 1 and Isaiah 55:8 tess us that there are some things we will never understand until we are in His presence. So fas as the heavens from the earth, this is how far God's thoughts are above ours. Sorta like getting my cat to explain the theory of relativity.
In the meantime, we love you, He loves you and God bless you, sweetie
2006-10-29 19:54:41 · answer #10 · answered by judge_smails_sir 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋