Problem with teen and his Sport Games...?

Question

I am this boy's "Big Brother" as in "Big Brother/Big Sisters". I have gone to many of his games (soccer, baseball, etc) and we had probelms, him not saying Hello , etc. We had a talk about manners and what you do when people come see you play and he improved and then would say Hello, but it was like I was making him. He then went back into his bad mode and stopped saying hello and even started to ignore me. I stopped going and told him why and said that he has to be OK with me at the games etc... and he just needs to let me know about his games and I would be happy to go. I didn't go for a long time. He did give me a schedule to his fall games and I have been going, but he is not acting great. If I say something to him or ask him something he will respond, but he will not say hello unless I say it first. There just doesn't seem to be any type of possitive with me going to the games. Like it doesn't matter to him. Should I continue to go? We get along otherwise.

It not that he doesn't say Hello first, he wouldn't say anything to me unless I said something first. I would think there should be some type of positiveness to me going (we have been matched for 1 1/2 yrs), but I don't get that. I don't get a smile, a hey, or a whats up unless I say something first. I have tried to teach him that he shoudl say Hello or a thanks for coming no matter who comes to his games. After all, they are coming to see HIM. (including myself)

Answer 1

its prob just his age, good luck, he'll get over it sometime

Answer 2

I think you probably need to look at the obvious. A. He is a teen and would probably behave the same way toward his own parents at this age.
B. As a big Brother you are making yourself available to him if he needs someone but he doesn't think he does.
C. Some teens are embarrassed even by mom and dad showing up at the game and demanding attention. He wants to hang out with his buddies.
D. He may be embarrassed by the mere fact he has a big brother since in his mind it is a kind of parental welfare program.

Don't be too hard on him. Talk about the games afterward when he and you are alone. Don't worry about his failure to acknowldege you or even his bad manners, concern yourself with keeping his future in focus and sports can indeed keep hiim out of trouble. Encourage him to play anything he likes and stay away from drugs, guns, gangs and all other evils he might be doing otherwise. Your guidance is being absorbed but you may not know it until many years from now. You are the grown up here so don't sweat the small stuff.

Answer 3

If you said how old he was, I missed it as this would helpful in answering. One thing might be ???? that he is just tired of being told what to do and wanted a friend, someone to be "on his side", not in poor habits etc, but to overlook if possible and seek out the good. I taught elem for 20 years the last 10 in 4th grade. I found that boys who came from single parent homes with moms, they kind of tuned women out . They often preferred man teachers as I'm sure boys like to hear what men have to say. So maybe he feels as if you are mothering him and he wants a friend ??/ I don't know.

Answer 4

Don't push him saying hello. Your support does mean something. It means alot to him for you to just be there. Do you remember when you were young? Did you run up to your family/older friends and say hello? I know i didn't. My mom would be there and i would just nod at her. I loved everytime she came, but didn't want to get picked on. If you are there for him, be there for him. This is just how kids are. Good luck.

Answer 5

Its a phase. Most teenaged kids go through. My nephews were into soccer, football, bmx racing and they would NEVER say hello it wasnt "cool" no big deal dont let it hurt your feelings.

Answer 6

how many times are you going to ask.

if you want to be part of the program you should know you will run into some problems!!!!