EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Day 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
Day 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
Day 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
Day 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
Day 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
2006-10-29 09:53:02 · 21 answers · asked by Dew Drop 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Your joke is one of those occasions when you look at the length of it...it turns you off....but if you bare with it and decide to read anyway....its worth it. Good one.
2006-10-29 10:12:34 · answer #1 · answered by kiako 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Cool
2006-10-29 18:59:55 · answer #2 · answered by Nate B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I know exactly what my cat is thinking!! He is a dedicated Neo Nazi who is Convinced He is Superior to all the rest of us. He is sure he was put here to rule the world.
2006-10-29 18:00:46 · answer #3 · answered by barrettins 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think your imagination is wonderful. this is well thought out and funny...
my personal new theory about cars is that they are aliens (they do look like those pictures of aliens on TV, don't they? big eyes, triangle-shaped head-hmmm???) and they are here to spy on mankind to gather all the information that they can before they go back home to their alien planet.
2006-11-04 00:40:13 · answer #4 · answered by guudkarma 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is a good one. Did you write that yourself? If so, you should definitely write for a living.
I do have a few cats and I certainly hope they don't think all the ways yours does.
2006-10-29 20:59:50 · answer #5 · answered by Oenophile... (Lynn) 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Was that cats name "Mr Tinkles" by any chance? Oh, that was so funny. Makes me wonder what my cats are thinking. yikes! I'm going to be nicer to my cats for sure. Spoil them rotten. Must protect myself. he he he.
2006-10-30 03:44:35 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think my cats are trying to kill me.
2006-10-29 18:50:52 · answer #7 · answered by peace_livy 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
LMAO.LOL. whaaaaaaahahahahaahhahahahaha.... LOL.... Does this continue because I can't get enough
2006-10-30 15:49:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats great! But my cats (I hope) don't think like that.
2006-10-29 17:56:09 · answer #9 · answered by Alice Chaos 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
good but i hope cats dont think like that
2006-10-29 18:27:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋